Darlings, Mommy and Daddy had to walk the streets to make a buck and we’re so very far behind on our postings! Will you still love us if we tell you all about the Shear Genius finale party? You will? Then gather ’round, kittens. Nekisa, Paulo, Meredith: you are DEAD to us for not...

Darlings, at the end of the show last night, we leapt out of our seats and uttered three words in unison. Loudly. “This. Is. BULLSHIT!” Of course, Tom, being the good little Irish Catholic boy, calmed down immediately, but Lorenzo, being the fiery, hot-headed latin, was awake for...

Darlings, we’re usually of the opinion that children are best when they’re served over a bed of rice, but damn, if those little ragamuffins last night weren’t ten different kinds of adorable. Clearly, this one’s going to grow up and become a fruitfly. Congrats, Lady...

Paulo lets one rip! From Paulo’s MySpace Page: “This was by far the most stupid, degrading, idiotic, sensationalized, assenine challenge ever. Yes the shotcut challenge was fun. It made me step outside the conventional box and use products that we normally wouldn’t think of...

Oh, how DELICIOUS that Kelly Garrett took the whole challenge last week so personally!   “*sigh* As you know, I was disappointed with the Charlie’s Angels challenge.” “Because of your base lack of consideration of the magnitude of that challenge, the Allure Wall...

Darlings, we neither like nor dislike anything from last week’s episode. These bitches have got to step it up and stop playing it so safe.   Enh. Whatever. It’s certainly an improvement over her previous look, but just barely. And “just barely” seems to be...

Eye candy this week, bitches! Too bad we’re not really into surfer dudes. Although there was one… Hello blondie. We’re going to have to ask you to turn around and show us your ass. Thank you! Fun episode this week, but what is up with the constant unintelligible accents on...

We haven’t forgotten our little red-headed stepchild, poodles. We promise to wrap up the final D&D this week. Onward to shitty hair and the bitchy stylists who make it happen! Why, Nekisa. You naughty little dyketease, you. You wouldn’t be flirting with another contestant just...

We were lucky enough to have two back-to-back episodes of entertaining reality television last night and don’t you worry, poodles. We haven’t forgotten about the second episode. This was kind of a crazy-ass but entertaining challenge. Sure, clients get shuffled back and forth in...

Don’t worry, little lambs. Even though the PR juggernaut is mightily rolling along this week, we haven’t forgotten our little crop of overproduct’d stylists. Let’s talk hair. As we said earlier, we weren’t really wowed by anything this week. We couldn’t...

Kittens, we have a confession to make. We kind of didn’t like ANY of the hairstyles last night, winning or losing entries. Of course part of that is due to this: GAAHH! It’s like an army of Cousin Itts. Or Crystal Gayle impersonators. We’re with Lady Bird. There’s no...

Likes: We don’t get it. These women have money. Why do they all have such shitty hair? Having said that, Nicole did a great job. While we’re not entirely sold on the bangs for Jeana, the fact is her hair looks about a thousand times shinier and healthier in the “after”...

  Somehow, we think this expression tends to greet Tabatha wherever she goes. It must get old after a while dealing with all that abject terror on a daily basis. But how FABULOUS was it to see our hair witch again? And how fabulous was that dress? She’s kind of a big deal with the...

We tried to come up with a clever post title, but that one really works for some reason. Okay, Likes: Super-cute! It clearly hearkens back to the original look but updates it for now. It’s not a cut for every girl and to be honest, we’re not sure if it’s the right cut for...

Bitches, did we not tell you that first challenge was gasp-inducing? How fun was this show last night? Let’s go to the tape: We’re not sure if we ever mentioned this last season, but Shear Genius has the best opening credits of any of the reality competition shows. Great music,...

Let’s take an opinionated look at the final hair collections, shall we, kittens? First up: Miss Daisy. First off, we don’t know what the hell’s going on with that makeup. She looks like a mime. This is a cute cut. She’s got kind of an angular face for such a severe...

Darlings, our world has gone cold and gray this morning. There is no more Shear Genius in our foreseeable future. *pout* On the other hand, what a FANTASTIC show last night! Those bitches brought their A game and once again we sit in awe of the incredible job the producers do in coming up...

We plopped down on the couch last night, ready to sulk and pout and hate the show now that Tabs and Tyson are gone. We hang our heads in shame for ever doubting the producers. Once Rene put his hands on his tiny little hips and announced the challenge, we perked right up. We sit in amazement...

Darling, we think you’re FABULOUS. The kicky hair, the witch dresses, the big rings that probably have the souls of your enemies trapped inside – you are working a look, girl! How did your look evolve? Or is this something you’re only doing at the moment and any second now you’re gonna break...

Brevity is the soul of wit, so here’s us being witty: This fucking blows. Oh, Tabs. How could this have happened? Evangelin was supposed to have the dramatic meltdown, not you! Never you!!  Kittens, we are bereft. How could our fabulous Witchy-Poo be gone? And if you think...

Let’s rip these bitches! Oh, Tyson. You’re so “street.” If there’s one thing every guy with a septum ring wants, it’s Liza Minnelli’s hair. Look at him. You know he wants to cry. And kudos to the totally heterosexual Dr. Boogie, who managed to take...