Happy Sausage Friday, darlings. To kick things off, let’s gaze at a man in a too-tight summer suit. Here’s Joel, serving up some “Kurt Russell circa 1980″ realness:   Joel Edgerton attends ‘The Great Gatsby’ photocall during the 66th Annual Cannes Film...

Well, DAMN.   Paz Vega attends the Opening Ceremony and ‘The Great Gatsby’ Premiere during the 66th Annual Cannes Film Festival in a Roberto Cavalli crystal-embroidered gown paired with a Ferragamo clutch and pumps. It’s Cannes, darlings. There’s a long history of...

Bleh. We are disappoint.   Zoe Saldana attends ‘Star Trek Into Darkness’ press conference in Mexico City in a Bottega Veneta paired with Salvatore Ferragamo shoes. Bottega Veneta Pre-Fall 2013 Collection/Model: Andie Arthur Salvatore Ferragamo Spring 2013 Gladiator Heel...

Well, we suppose wearing Westwood to a punk-themed gala is something of a no-brainer, and thus we’re awarding the coveted international award known as WERQ to someone who just displayed good common sense, really. Then again, we’re shocked by how little Westwood was seen in the...

Robert Downey Jr. attends ‘Iron Man 3′ press conference in Seoul, South Korea in Salvatore Ferragamo. Salvatore Ferragamo Spring 2013 Collection     [Photo Credit: WireImage,...

It’s been kinda cazh around these parts today, what with the workout clothes, coats, and unimpressive ladypants taking center stage. We feel the need for some sparkle right now.   Rosario Dawson attends the premiere of ‘Trance’ in London in a Jenny Packham gown...

Nicki Minaj strikes a blow for womankind everywhere.   Nicki Minaj covers the April 2013 issue of ELLE magazine photographed by Thomas Whiteside and styled by Joe Zee.   On her make-under for Elle‘s shoot: “When I saw myself with barely any makeup at, it was such a… like, I’m so, so...

Jennifer Garner attends the 65th Annual Directors Guild of America Awards in an Antonio Berardi dress paired with Cartier jewelry and a Ferragamo clutch and sandals. Antonio Berardi Resort 2013 Collection     [Photo Credit: Andrew Evans/PR Photos,...

We’re trying very hard to like this: Freida Pinto attends the ‘Life of PI’ Opening Gala during day one of the 9th Annual Dubai International Film Festival in a Ralph Lauren dress paired with a Ferragamo clutch and Charlotte Olympia sandals. After all, it’s Freida Pinto...

We are tsking at you right now, Jake. TSKING.   Jake Gyllenhaal attends the New Eyes for the Needy 80th Anniversary Gala in New York City in Salvatore Ferragamo. Jake wore a tailor-made charcoal grey, double-breasted flannel suit with peak lapels, a white shirt, charcoal tie, and a pair...

Darlings, as we, the American Bitter Kittens, prepare to celebrate that most American of holidays (ethnic exploitation + stuffing your face), let’s all turn to our favorite German to provide us with a little fun and glamour. And hair. Lots and lots of hair.   Heidi Klum covers the...

Baby sister still has a ways to go on her style evolution, but Miss Dakota has ARRIVED, bitches.   Dakota Fanning attends ‘The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2′ World Premiere in an Elie Saab couture gown paired with a Ferragamo clutch. Elie Saab Fall 2012 Couture...

Darlings, Nikki and Kellan are poledancing their way through the U.K. to promote the last of their little fang pics. Let’s become judgmental.   Nikki Reed and Kellan Lutz attend the photocall for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 in Glasgow, United Kingdom. Nikki wore a...

Homeland star (and current Lorenzo crush) Damian Lewis gets the GQ treatment from… oh, just guess.   Star of ‘Homeland’ Damien Lewis is featured in the November 2012 issue of GQ magazine photographed by Ben Watts. Bomber jacket, $2,125 by J.Lindeberg. Shirt, $245 by...

Bless her heart, Miss Krysten has been working that fame pole lately like her rent is due. Being a celebrity is exhausting, darlings, but at least she gets to try on an array of looks. She’s living the Barbie dream; fame, pictures, and lots of pretty dresses.      ...

Miss Emma is betting her bottom dollar that tomorrow, there’ll be sun, but we’re not sure we’re sold on this look:   Emma Stone attends ELLE’s 19th Annual Women In Hollywood Celebration in Beverly Hills, California in a Valentino dress accessorized with a...

Oh, what the hell. Let’s declare it “Ridiculously Hot Spaniard Day” here at T Lo Ethnic Holidays, LLC. ¡Los españoles calientes, darlings! We slapped a couple pictures of her hot husband up, so let’s take a look at what Penny’s doing with herself. Penelope Cruz...

You know how we always say, “Darlings, here’s a pretty boy for you to get over the hump today?” Well, to hell with that, GQ is serving up MAN. Coat, $2,295, shirt, $295, tie, $155, and pants, $495, by Ralph Lauren Black Label. Pocket square, $40 by Polo Ralph Lauren. Tie...

Silver fox Denzel Washington (who will always be “DENZELLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!” to Tom, since one of his first film jobs consisted of holding a sign up on the street, telling all the screaming ladies gathered outside the shooting location that they were going to have to be quiet...

Miss Emma must turn to drink every time she reads a headline about her with the words “Grows up” and “Hogwarts” in it.   Emma Watson covers the October 2012 issue of Glamour magazine photographed by Alexei Hay and styled by Anne Christensen. Especially when...

As a mother, entertainer, and person,  J Lo is kinda rocking the InStyle cover. Jennifer Lopez covers the September 2012 issue of InStyle magazine photographed by Michelangelo Di Battista. Givenchy Fall 2012 Collection. Salvatore Ferragamo Fall 2012 Collection [Wolford Bodysuit. Giuseppe...