When we look at the following pictures and consider what Miss Salma wore last week, we think it’s safe to say three things about her current style:   Salma Hayek attends ‘Les P’tits Cracks’ – Charity Dinner At Pavillon des Champs Elysees in Paris in Saint...

We’re only on our second cup of the day and we’re already weeping, darlings. That’s never a good sign. Bad enough Jennifer Morrison had to hit the streets in a dress so ugly we feel like it slapped us, but then Salma Hayek had to turn around and do this:   Salma Hayek...

We don’t love this unreservedly, but it’s the first outfit we’ve seen at the Independent Spirit Awards that we didn’t recoil from. Salma Hayek attends the 2013 Film Independent Spirit Awards in head-to-toe Alexander McQueen. Alexander McQueen Pre-Fall 2013 Collection...

All right, people. Here’s everyone we didn’t get to. We’re exhausted, so they’re only going to get the quick n’ dirty, drive-by assessment. We almost feel bad about that but hey, if they’d worn something really impressive, they wouldn’t have wound up...

We’re cracking our knuckles and pushing up our sleeves, darlings, because we’ve got a metric shit-tonne of dresses to rip. Hit it, ladystars!   Adele in Burberry It’s pretty, but kind of a stereotypical “big girl” dress. We realize she just had a baby and we...

Darlings, Gucci sponsored the 2012 LACMA Art + Film Gala in Los Angeles, so pretty much everybody wore Prada! Okay, no. Almost everyone wore Gucci. Let’s do a Quick n’ Bitchy rundown. As a reminder, “Quick n’ Bitchy” will be the name of our pancake mix brand,...

Senora Salma switches up her look once again. Yesterday she was selling “Rich Bitch” like a car salesman on Labor Day and today? Well, we’re not quite sure what to call this look.   Salma Hayek makes an appearance on the ‘Wendy Williams Show’ in New York...

Man, no one, and we mean no one, does “rich bitch” like Miss Salma.   Salma Hayek makes an appearance on the ‘Late Show with David Letterman’ to promote her new movie ‘Here Comes the Boom’ in Cushnie et Ochs. Cushnie et Ochs Pre-Fall 2012...

Oh, Miss Salma. This couldabin a WERQ if you’d just followed the T Lo Way. Because this is a killer dress… Salma Hayek attends ‘Savages’ photocall in London in a Roland Mouret dress paired with Giuseppe Zanotti shoes. Giuseppe Zanotti Bow Detail Platform Pump …...

Having gotten the morning announcements out of the way, let us start the day off with worship. Let us pray.   Salma Hayek attends the Gucci Award for Women in Cinema during the 69th Venice International Film Festival in a Gucci gown. Damn. That’s a star, darlings. If your hair or...

This just kicks all kinds of ass. Every picture could be captioned using the phrase, “That’s right, bitches.” Salma Hayek makes an appearance on “Good Morning America” in NYC to promote her new movie “Savages.” “That’s right, bitches....

It’s something of a cliche for stylists to default to the sleek ponytail. We’re certainly guilty of that. If you did a search of this site on some variant of the phrase “a sleek ponytail would have suited this better,” you’d get … well, we don’t know...

Salma honey, we don’t know what you heard or whether you’ve just been binging on classic Prince, but there really is such a thing as too much purple.   Salma Hayek attends the world premiere of “Prometheus” in London in a Bottega Veneta dress. Bottega Veneta Fall...

Ever since Miss Salma married that French billionaire (attagirl), she’s been forced to go out in public wearing clothes from the design houses his company owns, which means she’s been forced into clothes that don’t always suit her. She’s not really built for the more...

Miss Salma is TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS.   Salma Hayek covers the latest issue of Marie Claire@Work magazine photographed by Christopher Sturman in Alexander McQueeen.   And she will SPANK anyone who violates office protocol.   We’re totally loving two things here: 1) That...

Salma Hayek attends the Balenciaga Fall 2012 show in Paris and gives a master class on how to pose for candid shots. Starlets, watch a pro. First, the “Oh! There are cameras here! I had no idea!” faux-surprise look. Hold this for a good two minutes. In real life, you’ll look...

ONE! LAST! TIME!   Alice Eve We don’t mean to alarm you, Nancy Drew, but your dress appears to be evaporating.   Allison Janney in David Meister Fantastic dress on her. Kinda disappointing hair.   Cheryl Hines Looks like someone’s looking for a man tonight.  ...

Although anything with a leather pussy bow indicates to us that it might not be anyone’s dress. Salma Hayek at the premiere of “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy” in Paris in Gucci. All we can think is how much she must be sweating under that. It’s possible this could be...

  Amy Poehler in Naeem Khan We’re not loving the color on her, but it’s such an improvement over her normal choices that we’ll shut up about it.   Connie Britton in Vintage [as in, Salvation Army  Vintage] Y’know, if you want to flout the conventions that...

Salma has been strutting around the world in 4-inch heels, poledancing for that cat movie, bless her. But ever since she married that insanely rich French guy, it seems she’s been forced to only wear the brands his company owns or partially owns, e.g., Gucci, Bottega Veneta, Balenciaga,...

We were in agreement that Salma and her dress would have to be featured here, but we fought over the inclusion of Antonio in this post. “He doesn’t deserve our opinions!” cried Tom. “But don’t you see?” asked Lorenzo. “It’s because he’s so...