God bless you, Victoria Grayson. Not only have you taught us the exact tone to take with service workers and social-climbing sluts, not only did you look fabulous walking toward that plane in time with Florence Welch, not only are you a maestro when it comes to filling one’s eyes with...

Aw, man. Revenge, why you gotta get so complicated? We can’t keep track of what the hell’s going on anymore. It’s like Game of Thrones in shorter skirts and higher heels. Can’t we just, for at least a little while, let this be about Clarke-style justice raining down on...

Last night’s flashback-within-a-flashback story was a big plate of fudge. The end. What? Too obtuse? Oh, fine: it was a big plate of fudge because it was fun to see the parade o’ hairstyles (even if Victoria’s been sporting essentially the same hair for 20 years now) and...

Call it “Thorne’s rose,” the Revenge version of Checkhov’s gun. If you place a rose on your parent’s snow-covered grave in Act 1, then Victoria Grayson will find it and look off into the distance with her nostrils flared in Act 3. It was an inevitability, and...

These past two episodes have nicely illustrated that Hamptons Batman doesn’t just make plans or make faces at her enemies; when it gets right down to it, she can be positively brutal to bad people who get in her way. Unfortunately, last night’s episode ended on Emily’s...

Last night, as we watched Hamptons Batman get in some righteously furious head kicks, we looked to the the heavens and silently whispered, “Thank you.” Revenge is finally back in our lives. Don’t get us wrong, we loves us some Mad Men, but sometimes, you don’t want to...

Well. That’s the problem with stories once you get everyone up to speed: there’s always a momentary “What’s next?” In a book, this pause-and-regroup moment could take as little as half a chapter, but in a serial television drama, it means entire episodes are...

So, in light of this insane episode, we must ask the question that’s begging to be asked, even if no one else is asking it. Namely, Which Evil Soap Opera CrazyGay would win in a cagematch, Tyler or Downton Abbey’s scheming Thomas? Think about this one, now. Tyler’s more...

Every week this show just keeps turning up the dials at a steady, confident pace. In fact, the pacing is one of the best things about the writing on Revenge and it struck us at the end of this episode that we’d been like little frogs in a pot of water all along and things had just hit...

Oh, bitches. If ever there was any doubt (and really, there wasn’t), it’s gone now: IT. IS. ON. You wouldn’t think Emily would need any more reason to continue with her plan but the show managed to raise the stakes considerably, right at the moment when Emily (and the...

We’ll present your regularly scheduled Revenge review in a moment. First, some gloating. WE CALLED IT, BITCHES. We can’t say WHAT we called because the first couple lines of a post show up on the front page and then we get all that dreary shrieking about spoilers. Suffice it to...

Crazy Gay on a rampage! We didn’t know it before last night, but apparently that’s exactly what the show needed to jump back into the game. In fact, we think there are many shows that could be improved by inserting a crazy gay on a rampage. The Killing, for instance....

Uh-Oh! Crazy gays are trouble in any social setting (trust us on this one), but when your crazy gay is backed up against the wall and has run out of his anti-psychotic medication, look out! That bitch’ll do anything! She CRAZY! It seems that no matter what, the secret of the Graysons...

From the Totally Unimpressive Predictions Department: Real-Emily Thorne will be dead before the season is over. Are we wrong here? Isn’t everyone thinking that? It’s like when someone finds out Superman’s secret identity: you know amnesia is only a couple pages down the...

Darlings, when Amber Valetta opened her crystal-clear eyes and expressed puzzlement on her perfectly intact face after falling 5 stories in an evening gown and then revealed that she … dun dun DUN!!!! … has amnesia, we giggled and settled in for a perfectly delicious hour of...

Okay, what were you more surprised by, Nolan’s abs or Nolan’s sexual orientation? Because we were pretty blindsided by both. Does this show get more delicious week after week or what? We don’t know why so many people call it a “guilty pleasure.” There’s no...