We’re cranky, we hate everybody, and we want to go back to bed. Who can rid us of these meddlesome thoughts so we can get on with our day?   Jennifer Hudson attends the 2012 Concert for the Rainforest Fund in NYC in a Reem Acra gown accessorised with Kimberly McDonald jewelry. Reem...

Kittens, one of the trends for the fall collections was metallic gold. We hesitate to say “It’s BACK!” in the manner of the average fashion mag because metallics never really go away. They just recede for a while before the zeitgeist resurrects them in a big way.   Elie...

Hit it again, attention hos!   Adam Lambert Cleans up well.   Ahna O’Reilly in Randi Rahm Kinda disco-meets-geometry fabulous.   Anne Heche in Dolce & Gabbana Not a bad gown, but it’s a little limp and sad-looking. And the color’s not her friend.  ...

Line ‘em up!   Angelina Jolie in Atelier Versace What the shit was she doing with her leg all night? Did she come down with a bout of crazy or something? Because usually Angie’s pretty demure when it comes to playing the sex card. That was just odd the way she kept sticking...

Darlings, celebrities clawed their way out of their holes in the ground and made their way to toward the light, in the hope that once they got there, someone would hand them an award. Let us judge them.   Aimee Garcia Terrible color for her.   Angelina Jolie in Jenny Packham...

Opening paragraph? Pfft. Who has the time when there are dresses to rip?   Amber Riley in Badgley Mischka Killin’ it.   Angelina Jolie in Atelier Versace Let’s face it; this was the look of the night – and with good reason. Personally, we’re not inclined to...

No time for niceties and foreplay, darlings! Let’s GET TO IT!   Amanda Peet in Marc Jacobs Enh. There’s such a thing as being too tiered. And the length is awkward.   Andie MacDowell in David Meister She’s had the same hairstyle for over 20 years, but we...

Get your coffee and allons-y! It’s time to make some celebrities CRY!   Alyson Hanningan in Alice + Olivia The dress is okay (but probably a little short on her). What really make us want to hug her are the silver peeptoe platform pumps because they’re not black peeptoe...

We’re rolling up our sleeves, cracking our knuckles and doing some preliminary stretches. You should too, darlings. We’ve got a metric shit-ton of celebrities to criticize and we don’t want any of you to strain yourselves. Ready? Warmed up? Let’s DO THIS.   Adam...

That’s right, bitches. Part ONE. There were too many cowboys and cowgirls to fit into just one post. So let’s get our yeehaw on and start judging!   Carrie Underwood in Reem Acra Very pretty and polished, but we have a complaint, of course. Bad enough she picked a dress that...

As your judges, we feel it best to let you all know before the judging commences that lately we’ve been on an Amber Heard kick and also, we’re kind of over Depp’s whole schtick. We will almost certainly allow these factors to influence our judging. Johnny Depp and Amber...

We would be perfectly fine if these two made babies together. They’d be tall and athletic with great smiles. Hugh Jackman and Evangeline Lilly attend the premiere of “Real Steel” in California. Evangeline Lilly wears a Reem Acra gown and Hugh Jackman wears a Tom Ford suit....

We’re going to have a hard time seriously assessing any dresses today now that Katy Perry has upended the rules for everyone. Jayma Mays attends the premiere of ‘The Smurfs’ in New York City. This is a pretty cute, head-turning look. We’re going to critique some...

Darlings, it was the BAFTA “Brits To Watch” event, held at the Belasco Theatre in Los Angeles, California, which we think should have been titled “Brits to Watch – And Then Say Something Bitchy about Their Clothes,” but no one ever listens to us. In the interest...

Some of the Glee cast showed up for the Fox Upfront Event in New York City in their finest. Let’s judge, shall we? Chord Overstreet WOW. Someone’s really making an effort to change their image. Well done, Chord. He really looks adorable and to be honest, we never thought he looked...

Aleesia On any other night, at any other event, we’d call this a little slutty, but considering how insanely some of the other red carpet denizens dressed last night, she’s Dame Judi Dench in comparison. Alicia Arden See what we mean? Bonnie Mckee They’re very nice legs, but...

Absolutely adorable. We imagine this dress wouldn’t look so effortless on any woman out of her teens, which makes it perfect for her. We also like the simple, girlish hair. It’s refreshing when a female teen star actually looks her age. She could have gone all up ‘do and...

  Meryl Streep wearing Alberta Ferretti, Fred Leighton jewels and a Ferragamo clutch. Oh Mary Louise. On the one hand, we think this is the best you’ve looked on the red carpet in ages; on the other hand, we’re distressed that you’re still dressing as if you’re...

Angelina Jolie in Max Azria Spring 2009 Honey, you can flip it around and wear it backwards if you want. It’s still a shapeless mess. What’s up her ass lately? Is this like a “serious actress” kind of thing? Or is it a “I’m a humanitarian, so I can’t...

Well, you bitches wanted more, so let’s get to it. Jill Biden in Reem Acra. It’s a tiny bit showy for her age and her station, but we can’t deny that she looks fantastic in it. Not many 57-year-olds can rock a whore-red strapless number. Alicia Keys performs during the...

Let’s bring this one home, shall we? Anne Hathaway in Armani Privé Fall 2006 Couture We liked this one. Loved the color on it even if the silhouette is so very done on the red carpet. That bodice fits her a little funny though. And she’s too skinny. Amanda Seyfried wearing Stella...