Happy Sausage Friday, darlings. To kick things off, let’s gaze at a man in a too-tight summer suit. Here’s Joel, serving up some “Kurt Russell circa 1980″ realness:   Joel Edgerton attends ‘The Great Gatsby’ photocall during the 66th Annual Cannes Film...

Julianne Moore attends the Opening Ceremony and ‘The Great Gatsby’ Premiere during the 66th Annual Cannes Film Festival in a Christian Dior couture gown paired with Chopard jewelry. Christian Dior Spring 2013 Couture Collection/Model: Anastasia Ivanova (NATHALIE)    ...

We fear the Bitter Kittens are going to claw our furniture and pee on our rugs for giving out two WERQs in one day for granny panty gowns, but y’all are just gonna need to settle down. Because look:   Solange Knowles attends the Opening Ceremony and ‘The Great Gatsby’...

We’ve always been big fans of the Audreybot, but there comes a point where you can predict what you’re going to see before you see it. It’s almost always a black, white or black-and-white outfit, accompanied by a vacant, wide-eyed stare, finished off with a wide-legged...

Isla Fisher attends the Opening Ceremony and ‘The Great Gatsby’ Premiere during the 66th Annual Cannes Film Festival in an Oscar de la Renta silk-chiffon, lace and tulle gown from the Spring 2013 Bridal collection paired with Bulgari Heritage Collection jewelry. Oscar de la Renta...

Well, DAMN.   Paz Vega attends the Opening Ceremony and ‘The Great Gatsby’ Premiere during the 66th Annual Cannes Film Festival in a Roberto Cavalli crystal-embroidered gown paired with a Ferragamo clutch and pumps. It’s Cannes, darlings. There’s a long history of...

Credit-where-it’s-due time, darlings.   Lana Del Rey attends the Opening Ceremony and ‘The Great Gatsby’ Premiere during the 66th Annual Cannes Film Festival in a gown by Austrian designer Lena Hoschek paired with Chopard jewelry. Lena Hoschek Spring 2013 Collection We...

Oh please.   Florence Welch attends the Opening Ceremony and ‘The Great Gatsby’ Premiere during the 66th Annual Cannes Film Festival in Miu Miu. Miu Miu Fall 2013 Collection/Model: Sam Rollinson (WOMEN) Girl, come ON. We fully support the flying of the Flo Freak Flag, but...

Carey Mulligan attends the Opening Ceremony and ‘The Great Gatsby’ Premiere during the 66th Annual Cannes Film Festival in a Christian Dior couture gown paired with Tiffany & Co. jewelry.       [Photo Credit: Getty,...

Before we drown in stately Cannes gowns, let’s take a moment to spend some time with someone who has considerably less grandiose ideas about style. Darlings, meet Ariadne:   Chloë Sevigny attends the ABSOLUT Elyx launch in New York City. Rodarte Fall 2013 Collection/Model: Lina...

Geez. Maybe we shouldn’t front-load the day with so much breathtaking fabulosity. Then again, you’ll all be sick of it by the time Cannes is all over, so we might as well indulge now.   Fan Bingbing attends the Opening Ceremony and ‘The Great Gatsby’ Premiere...

Clear the carpet, peasants. Miss Lady is walking.   Nicole Kidman attends the Opening Ceremony and ‘The Great Gatsby’ Premiere during the 66th Annual Cannes Film Festival in a Christian Dior couture strapless gown paired with Jimmy Choo pumps. Christian Dior Spring 2013...

Y’know? We’re gonna have to give this one to her. She gets a LOT of shit wrong on the red carpet, which is frustrating as hell because it’s a milieu in which being a tall, thin, blonde white woman means you’re playing the game on the lowest difficulty setting. And yes,...

Audrey Tautou attends photocall during 2013 Cannes Film Festival in a Red Valentino dress paired with Prada pumps. RED Valentino Spring 2013 Collection     [Photo Credit: Getty,...

In an attempt to yank the spotlight away from Kirk, Spock and Uhura, we’re trying to feature some of the other members of the cast, but they sure as hell aren’t making it easy. C’mon, John. Could you maybe give us something to work with here?   John Cho attends the...

Zoe Saldana attends the premiere of ‘Star Trek Into Darkness’ in Hollywood, California in a Rodarte dress paired with Oscar Tiye shoes and Aurélie Bidermann jewelry. Rodarte Fall 2013 Collection/Model: Kate King Oscar Tiye Cut Out Sandal     [Photo Credit: Izumi...

It seems that Alice Eve and T Lo are going to need to sit down and have themselves a talk some time soon.   Alice Eve attends the premiere of ‘Star Trek Into Darkness’ in Hollywood, California in a Zuhair Murad dress paired with Giuseppe Zanotti shoes and Marina B and Martin...

Jenna Ushkowitz attends the Fox 2013 Programming Presentation in New York City in a Miguel Antoinne black and white silk tiered dress paired with Christian Louboutin sandals. Miguel Antoinne Spring 2013  ‘Aleksandra’ Dress Christian Louboutin Appliqué Ruched Sandals    ...

These two don’t even look like they’re attending the same event. Alice Eve and Zachary Quinto attend Vogue and MAC Cosmetics dinner hosted by Lisa Love and John Demsey in honor of Prabal Gurung at the Chateau Marmont in Los Angeles, California.     SHE: Seems to be...

No one can claim we don’t pay Miss Lucy the proper deference for being fierce as shit, but we’re sad to report we’re not feeling this one.   Lucy Liu attends the American Ballet Theatre opening night Spring Gala at Lincoln Center in New York City in a Vivienne Westwood...

  Sigourney Weaver attends the American Ballet Theatre opening night Spring Gala at Lincoln Center in New York City in Christian Dior. Christian Dior Spring 2013 Collection/Model: Katia Selinger (NEXT) Christian Dior Spring 2013 Collection/Model: Daria Strokous (WOMEN)    ...