A T Lo Christmas Classic, reposted once again, for all our sisters out there. For there were never such devoted sisters. Yes, it’s White Christmas! That holiday classic featuring closeted homosexuals and child abusers and the women with eating disorders who love them!   Our story...

Yes, it’s How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying! The story of a sociopathic window washer whose sadistic sexual games and unrivaled ambition destroy countless lives! This one’s got a lot of plot, so strap yourselves in. Our story starts here as deceptively...

One of us hates this movie and one of us loves it. It’s Mary Poppins! The story of a demonic nanny and the dysfunctional family she helps destroy! Just remember, we did this all for you, bitches! Our story starts here, over 1910 London, as Satan’s Bride prepares herself for her...

Yes, it’s A Star is Born! The depressing musical inside look at tinsel town and how substance abuse can ruin both a marriage and a career! With Judy Garland! And SHE’s the sober one! Haha! Irony! Our story starts here, at the relief benefit for the motion picture fund. It’s...

We’re back, y’all! And to celebrate, we decided to go with the biggest piece of shit musical we could find! Yes, it’s Mame! The musical story that proves once and for all that no matter how much vaseline you smear on the lens, you can’t revisit a classic if you cast...

Oh kittens. We really wanted to get to this one back during the holidays, since most people consider this a holiday film. But dammit, we were too stuck in Project Runway Land to get to it in time.   When it came time to pick a film for our triumphant return to Musical Mondays, we knew it...

Yes, it’s The Barkleys of Broadway! Fred and Ginger! Together again for the first time (on this blog, anyway)! We weren’t planning for our first Fred and Ginger movie to be their last one, but the day we announced we were doing F&G next, lo and behold, Netflix finally found...

Yes, it’s Fiddler on the Roof! Sort of. You see, neither of us had ever seen this movie and when it came time to pick a flick for our next entry, because it’s such a classic and because we can half-sing at least 3 of the songs already, we figured it would be a fun choice. About 40...

Yes, it’s Victor/Victoria! And we hate you all for it! You see, we never really planned on doing many of the latter musicals because they’re too self-aware to parody. What was subtext in a classic MGM musical becomes text in anything post-Saturday Night Fever. Well, you bitches...

Yes, it’s High Society! The musical that asks the question “What did Katharine Hepburn have that I don’t?” Our story starts here as Louis Armstrong and his bandmates sit in the back of the bus (of course) and smoke pot. Take it away, Satchmo. Louis and his band meet up...

Yes, it’s Bye Bye Birdie! The musical extravaganza that…sucks. Seriously, bitches. You better love us for sitting through this THREE TIMES in order to write this post. Let’s get started, shall we? It’s 1963! Kennedy’s in the White House! Kruschev’s in the...

HA! You didn’t think we could do it, did you? Well, it’s still Monday (even if you’re probably not going to read this until Tuesday at the earliest), which means that come hell, high water, or shitty wireless internet connection because our DSL line STILL isn’t hooked...

We’re BACK, bitches! You didn’t think we could do it, did you? Well, we can’t find anything and the phone isn’t hooked up yet, but goddammit, we found a wireless connection and we’re bringin’ it!So! The Harvey Girls! Let’s go! Our film opens as all...

Yes kids, it’s time for On a Clear Day You Ca– oh, forget it. Look, the plot is all the hell over the place on this one and most of the songs are forgettable. We’ll try to keep up, but really, the only point to this movie is Barbra’s hair, makeup and wardrobe, all of...

Yes, it’s time for that American Classic, Singin’ In The Rain! The story that teaches the valuable lesson: Watch out for those dumb girls, they can be real bitches when they want to! Our story starts here, on opening night of what’s sure to be the blockbuster film of 1927,...

Yes ladies, it’s time for Gypsy! The story of the Worst Mother in the World, and the daughter she whored out in a sad attempt to give her life meaning! It’s like the Patsy and JonBenet story set to music! With tassles! Our story starts here as little Louise Hovick and her little...

Yes kids, it’s Thoroughly Modern Millie! Because we just can’t seem to get Julie Andrews out of our systems – and because it’s one of Lorenzo’s favorite films and he pouted and stamped his feet to get his way! Kidnapping! Sex slavery! Offensive racial...

Previously on Musical Monday: A lark who is learning to pray…a flibbertigibbet…to face a world of men…doorbells and sleighbells and schnitzel with noodles…a drink with jam and bread…one little girl in a pale pink coat heard…small and white, clean and...

This is IT, bitches! We told you we’d come back with something extra-special for you!It’s The Sound of Music! Nuns! Nanny-fuckers! Nazis! My word, we’re breathless just thinking about it!   Take it away, Julie! Meanwhile back at the abbey, The Reverend Mother hears that...

Yes girls, it’s Gigi! The story of a young French girl who finds love despite her grandmother’s sick attempts to train her for a life of prostitution! The year? 1900! The place? Paris! The Bois de Boulogne! The players? Perverted old Frenchmen and snotty high-priced whores in...

Yes, it’s Royal Wedding! The slightly disturbing story of a brother-sister entertainment duo and their inappropriate relationship! Our story starts here, as Tom & Ellen Bowen (Astaire and Jane Powell) are closing out their hit show in New York by grossing out the audience. Brother...