Even though they stood far apart from each other, we’re treating this one as a Pairs Division post because the ladies really went for broke with these dresses and deserve to be pitted against each other like prize fighting roosters. Besides, they’re so boring on their own. Kate...

Darlings, it was the premiere of “Sparkle” and all the stars came out to do just that, some more than others. Can we just say? Does anyone else find the ads for this movie a little weird? “Starring Jordin Sparks! Cee Lo Green! And Whitney Houston.” Excuse me, bitch?...

Tika Sumpter, welcome to your first appearance here at T Lo Nasty Bitches, LLC! We’ll keep our critiques brief and simple. You didn’t think there wouldn’t be any, did you? Oh, HONEY. Come now. Don’t be scared! You know how, at the doctor’s office, just before a...

Hi, Sarah Gadon. Welcome to your first appearance on T Lo Celebrity Assessments. Don’t be shy, dear. Come on out here so we can all get a good look at you.   Sarah Gadon attends the “Cosmopolis” premiere at the Museum of Modern Art in New York City in a...

We’re not quite sure which of her alters Chloe chose for the night, but one thing’s for sure: Chloë Sevigny attends The Cinema Society & Manifesto Yves Saint Laurent screening of ‘Lawless’ in New York City in a Versace Jeans Couture dress. Versace Jeans Couture...

Robert Pattinson has stopped crying and cutting himself long enough to get dressed and shuffle his way back out into the spotlight. Let’s all take a moment and salute his bravery and fortitude. Okay, moment’s up.   Robert Pattinson attends the ‘Cosmopolis’...

We did her boring-ass co-star so we guess it’s only fair to check in on boring-ass Jessica Biel.   Jessica Biel attends the premiere of ‘Total Recall’ in Berlin in an Elie Saab gown paired with a Fendi bag and Lorraine Schwartz jewelry. Except she kinda knocked this one...

Darlings, we’ve tried to avoid her because she bores the shit out of us, but Kate’s been unveiling one dress after another in an attempt to get you to watch her movie and we’ve decided we can’t ignore the latest one. Kate Beckinsale attends the premiere of ‘Total...

Oh, man. These baby starlets are going to be the death of us. Bella Thorne attends the premiere of ‘The Odd Life of Timothy Green’ in Los Angeles in a Ted Baker London dress paired with Miu Miu heels. Ted Baker London ‘Parisian Birdie’ print dress Miu Miu Glitter Heel T-Strap...

Hi, Jeremy Renner. We don’t like your suit.   Jeremy Renner attends the premiere of ‘The Bourne Legacy’ in Sydney in a Dolce&Gabbana suit, shirt and tie paired with Christian Louboutin shoes. Our first reaction was a barely audible “Meh.” Black suit,...

Miss Kiernan steps out and shuts it down.   Kiernan Shipka attends the premiere of ‘The Odd Life of Timothy Green’ in Los Angeles in an Oscar de la Renta dress paired with a Proenza Schouler clutch and Miu Miu shoes. Proenza Schouler Evening Clutch It’s eerie how much...

Katherine McNamara? Meet a sixteen-year-old who got it exactly right.   Sami Gayle attends the “Total Recall” New York Premiere in NYC in Miu Miu Fall 2012 collection. Miu Miu Jewel-collared Chunky-knit Wool Sweater THAT is a girl who knows her strengths and knows how to WERQ...

There’s a germ of a good style idea here, but unfortunately, it never really comes together.   Lizzy Caplan attends the premiere of “The Campaign” in Los Angeles in a Dolce&Gabbana top and Rachel Zoe skirt. Wedge sandals also by Dolce&Gabbana. Clutch by Kotur....

Colin wears yet another big ol’ oil slick suit, but can we just talk about something else for a second?   Colin Farrell attends the premiere of ‘Total Recall’ in Los Angeles in Dolce&Gabbana. This is one of those things that’s going to offend someone out in...

We’re in an ASSESSIN’ mood today! Since we gave the seasoned pro some advice, we thought we’d spin around in the other direction and obnoxiously instruct someone on the exact opposite end of the stardom scale. We had to do some googling on this one because – and...

Oh, Mary Louise. We love you. And we hope you realize that the following is said out of love. We also hope that our readers realize we don’t actually think you read us or care what we have to say about your clothes. But it’s fun to think so, yes?   Meryl Streep attends the...

We’ve spent the day being very firmly declarative when it comes to our red carpet posts. We wouldn’t suggest there’s anything particularly odd about that (“Honey, I’m worried. We seem to be very opinionated today.”), but we figure after all our bloviating,...

Maggie Gyllenhaal celebrates the 30th anniversary of some movie she did with Viola Davis, judging by the pictures. Maggie Gyllenhaal attends the ‘Won’t Back Down’ screening in New York City. How is it she managed to look like the grandmother of the Maggie Gyllenhall in the...

We don’t care if you have a killer smile and a predilection for going commando, Jon Hamm.   Jon Hamm attends “The Campaign” New York Premiere in New York City. This is NOT acceptable. Oh, you silly ladies and queens are all going to defend him now, aren’t you?...

Aww. You just wanna spoon feed him honey and rub his belly, don’t you?  Zach Galifianakis attends the “The Campaign” Los Angeles Premiere. Nicely done, sir. We salute the effort. The jacket’s a bit too small on him, but everything else works fine. No, we wouldn’t...

Aisha is shutting it the hell DOWN.   Aisha Tyler attends the premiere of “Total Recall” in Hollywood, California in a Pamella Roland dress. Pamella Roland Fall 2012 Collection We think she over-accessorized with the jewelry (one of those pieces should go; we vote for the...