Final round, ladies! Part 1 here and Part 2 here.   Albania  ”Enough with these prostitutes and fancy ladies. Albania is sturdy and traditional.”     Australia  ”FUCK THAT NOISE. Australia just wants to hit the nightclubs!”     Brazil...

Feathers, stripper heels, flags and weapons, darlings. There’s simply nothing like it to be found anywhere. Part 1 here. Part 3 to follow shortly. Hit it again, ladies.   Argentina “Am I a bat? Some form of demon? Or perhaps some species of bee? Come to Argentina, where our...

It’s time once again for that international moment of wonder known as the Miss Universe National Costume unveilings, darlings. A bigger collection of jingo-ism crossed with light stripping you will never see anywhere else. Hit it, ladies.   Angola  ”Come to Angola!...

Second verse, same as the first, bitches.   Miss Aruba “In Aruba, we have ROBOT SHOWGIRLS!” Miss Botswana “Miss Botswana knows what to do with people who don’t vote for her. Oh, yes. Miss Botswana beats them with her big Botswanan shovel.” Miss Brazil...

Hit it, hos! Miss Angola “Come to Angola! Our sealife grows wild and attacks you!” Miss Australia “My breasts represent the sun rising over our fair land! My skirt represents our love for tacky fabrics!” Miss Bahamas “Quick! Vote for me before I grow my beak and...