Darlings, it was the 2011 BET Awards held (judging by the light) in the middle of a desert at high noon. Seriously, all these ladies look like they’re blinded. And some of them look like their blindness retroactively extended back to when they chose their outfits. OH NO WE DIDN’T!...

Kittens, it was the 2011 Billboard Music Awards, held at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas. Maybe we’re burnt out from those horrid dressers of Young Hollywood, but this crowd did relatively well, all things considered. Come. Judge with us. Beyonce in Lanvin Pretty much perfect....

Second verse, same as the first, kittens! Round 2! Electric Boogaloo! This time it’s personal! Alicia Keys in Givenchy Alicia apparently rode through the streets of Manhattan on a horse, side-saddle, fighting off orcs with a sword. Sweetie, we’re enjoying Game of Thrones too, but...