Darlings, if we never see a gown again after this … well, we’d kinda be out of a job, but still. Suffice it to say, we’re OVER IT. But we’ll see it through, to the bitter end.   Ashley Olsen in Vintage Christian Dior She’s an Olsen twin, which means the...

So we tried to watch last year’s Total Recall remake while waiting for Project Runway to start last night. It was somewhere just around the thirty minute mark that we turned it off in disgust, saying, “Who the hell thought it was a good idea to cast Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale...

We’re not mad at Jessica’s outfit. Mildly annoyed maybe.   Jessica Biel leaves Southern Hospitality BBQ with Justin Timberlake in New York City after celebrating Timbaland’s birthday. Look, you wanna wear your crocheted pants to Timbaland’s birthday party? Be our...

We were kind of hilariously cranky trying to put this post together. They’re celebrities, wearing designer clothing, attending a London fashion show, so you’d think this was right up our alley, but we find them both so irritating that all we can do is utter our disgust and/or...

Okay, before we ask the following question, we’re going to have to implore you: forget the hair. Erase the hair from your view. We’ve all discussed her oversized booms to death and at this point, saying that you don’t like her hair is akin to saying you don’t like...

We STILL can’t sign off on her hair, but this is a killer cover: Jessica Biel covers the January 2013 issue of ELLE magazine photographed by Thomas Whiteside and styled by Joe Zee. Jessica Biel wears an embellished silk and tulle dress with a lacquered metal, plexiglas, and crystal...

Geez, we don’t think we’ve seen one picture of Jessica smiling since she got married.   Jessica Biel heads out and about in New York City. We like this look, though. We’re never going to love the way she’s wearing her hair now, but if you’re gonna do the big...

Seven am editorial meeting, T Lo Bitchery International Headquarters: T: Let’s do a post on Biel in the Versace. Lo: Oh, that’s TOTALLY a “Girl, That’s Not Your Dress” post. T: Really? I’m thinking exactly the opposite. That’s totally her dress. Lo:...

Ahh, wedded bliss. Just look at these two lovebird, awash in the glow of marriage:   Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake out and about in New York City. Jesus, lighten up, will you, Jess? Yes, we can see your ring. She looks cute, but his jacket is weirdly shaped, no? It’s like an...

  Jessica Biel attends the premiere of ‘Hitchcock’ in Los Angeles in a Gucci dress paired with a Fendi clutch, Sergio Rossi sandals, and Jennifer Meyer earrings. Gucci Spring 2013 Collection/Model: Marikka Juhler Fendi Resort 2013 Clutch     [Photo Credit: Andrew...

Jessica poses in front of the Dumpsters of Fabulousness and we almost like the way she looks.   Jessica Biel makes an appearance on the ‘Late Show with David Letterman’ in New York City to promote her latest movie ‘Hitchcock’  in a Roland Mouret dress paired with Jimmy Choo pumps....

Jessica Biel attends the premiere of ‘Hitchcock’ in New York City in Oscar de la Renta. Jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz. Sandals by Manolo Blahnik. Oscar de la Renta Spring 2013 Collection/Model: Xiao Wen Ju     [Photo Credit: Janet Mayer/PRPhotos.com,...

Hi Jessica! Listen, thanks for providing us with some handy illustrations for the point we’re about to make.   Jessica Biel attends business meetings in New York City. Namely: it really does matter how you pair items of clothing together. That’s a great – and really...

We think we’ve more than made the point that celebrity life is just plain weird, but nothing illustrates that more effectively than a big ol’ celeb wedding. Especially when it comes complete with attention-seeking covers of major magazines.   People paid the...

Okay, we give up with this girl. Jessica Biel out and about in Paris in Isabel Marant. Isabel Marant Spring 2013 Collection/Model: Kasia Struss (WOMEN) Isabel Marant Spring 2013 Collection/Model: Julia Frauche (NATHALIE) For God’s sake, honey, LEARN TO EDIT. The thing is, we like pretty...

Well, Jessica. We’ll give you credit: you tried like hell to make this work. Jessica Biel attends the 4th Annual Variety’s Power of Women Luncheon Presented by Lifetime in a Gucci Dress paired with Louis Vuitton pumps, a Fendi bag, and Tiffany & Co. jewelry. Gucci Fall 2012...

Even though they stood far apart from each other, we’re treating this one as a Pairs Division post because the ladies really went for broke with these dresses and deserve to be pitted against each other like prize fighting roosters. Besides, they’re so boring on their own. Kate...

We did her boring-ass co-star so we guess it’s only fair to check in on boring-ass Jessica Biel.   Jessica Biel attends the premiere of ‘Total Recall’ in Berlin in an Elie Saab gown paired with a Fendi bag and Lorraine Schwartz jewelry. Except she kinda knocked this one...

Darlings, we started off your week by offering you two extremely unfortunate outfits and we feel kind of bad about that so let’s look at a pretty dress for a bit, mkay?   Jessica Biel makes an appearance on ‘Good Morning America’ in New York City in an Oscar de la Renta...

Like her co-star, Jessica did much better in picking out her premiere outfit than she did in picking out her photocall outfit. Jessica Biel attends the premiere of “Total Recall” in Hollywood, California in a Christian Dior couture dress paired with Louis Vuitton shoes. Clutch by...

We were planning on getting to this yesterday, right after the Kate Beckinsale post, but we …  didn’t, because we … got a little lazy late in the day. Can you forgive, darlings? Besides, it’s not like this look is scintillating and y’all were missing out. Jessica...