No awards ceremony that dubs Justin Bieber the Artist of the Year deserves a moment of consideration, but there are dresses to rip, so we feel compelled to offer bitchy, drive-by assessments, darlings. Hit it, chanteuses and contractually obligated ABC stars!   Brandy  Uh… no....

We’re rolling up our sleeves, cracking our knuckles and doing some preliminary stretches. You should too, darlings. We’ve got a metric shit-ton of celebrities to criticize and we don’t want any of you to strain yourselves. Ready? Warmed up? Let’s DO THIS.   Adam...