All right, people. Here’s everyone we didn’t get to. We’re exhausted, so they’re only going to get the quick n’ dirty, drive-by assessment. We almost feel bad about that but hey, if they’d worn something really impressive, they wouldn’t have wound up...

We don’t like to make absolutist statements, but we feel safe in saying, in the long history of Oscars fashion and style… Quvenzhané Wallis attends the 85th Academy Awards Nominations Luncheon in Beverly Hills, California in David Meister. No one ever WERQ’d a puppy purse...

Moving right along…   Allison Williams in Oscar de la Renta Spring 2013 We said the other day that she tends to dress a little old for her age, but this brilliant green really pops and she looks amazing. Jewelry’s a little half-assed, though.   Anna Chlumsky in custom...

Let’s crack our knuckles and DO THIS.   Amy Poehler in Stella McCartney Very much a personal best for her. We think that bustline is both too wide and too low for her, but otherwise, this is a fantastic post-breakup look.   Betsy Brandt in David Meister Signature A little...

Darlings, it was the CFDA Awards! If the Met Gala is fashion’s prom night, then the CFDAs are sort of like student body elections. You know; kinda dorky.   Busy Phillips in Martin Margiela  Honey, your tits appear to be weeping. Examine that.   Gretchen Mol in Sophie Theallet...

Let’s DO THIS, bitches! Whore Prom is GO!   Alicia Keys in Diane von Furstenberg It’s not bad, but it’s a bit casual and off-season. Sure, it’s been a bit chilly on the East Coast this week but this doesn’t look very late-April appropriate to us.   Anna...

ONE! LAST! TIME!   Alice Eve We don’t mean to alarm you, Nancy Drew, but your dress appears to be evaporating.   Allison Janney in David Meister Fantastic dress on her. Kinda disappointing hair.   Cheryl Hines Looks like someone’s looking for a man tonight.  ...

Darlings, we tweeted for SIX STRAIGHT HOURS last night! And can we just say? If you tweet for 6 straight hours, your sleep cycle gets very staccato and you wind up waking up over and over again. We’re pretty sure that’s because our dreams were all only 140 characters long. Hit it!...

Kittens, it was the 14th Annual Costume Designers Guild Awards! And people showed up!   Amber Valetta in Roland Mouret A fabulous dress on her in a color fabulously suited to her … and it’s all shot to hell with a no-effort hairstyle, bad lip color, and Payless shoes.  ...

Darlings, it was the Writers Guild of America West Coast Awards! Because the East Coast was starting to get a little snotty about it!   Ahna O’Reilly Really cute dress, but the height of the hem makes her look a little cocktail waitress-y. Amanda Peet  Oh sweetie. Live a little....

Darlings, it was The Heart Truth’s Red Dress Fashion Show 2012 and we don’t think we’ve ever had so much fun at a runway show. The crowd was raucous and ramped-up, the music was LOUD, and every lady who walked that runway was a DIVA for those 3 minutes. Miss Chaka is a diva...

Darlings, it was the 84th Academy Awards Nominations Luncheon, which means everyone dressed like a politician’s wife and they all pretended like they weren’t secretly wishing ruin on each other. God, we love the kabuki that is Oscar campaigning. Hit it, grasping, desperate,...

Don’t falter now, girls! We’re at the home stretch of bitchery! Amber Heard in Zac Posen Enh. More weird cutouts. Seems to have been a theme for the night.   Amber Riley in Badgley Mischka The shape is great on her, but no gal should ever wear a bow that big on her front....

No time for talk, ladies! Hop on the bitchtrain!   Aleksa Palladino At this point, we’re starting to think ladystars wear these bland lace dresses because they’re hoping to blend in. To which we say, “It’s a red carpet, honey. Blending in is for losers and...

Darlings, celebrities clawed their way out of their holes in the ground and made their way to toward the light, in the hope that once they got there, someone would hand them an award. Let us judge them.   Aimee Garcia Terrible color for her.   Angelina Jolie in Jenny Packham...

  Amy Poehler in Naeem Khan We’re not loving the color on her, but it’s such an improvement over her normal choices that we’ll shut up about it.   Connie Britton in Vintage [as in, Salvation Army  Vintage] Y’know, if you want to flout the conventions that...

Opening paragraph? Pfft. Who has the time when there are dresses to rip?   Amber Riley in Badgley Mischka Killin’ it.   Angelina Jolie in Atelier Versace Let’s face it; this was the look of the night – and with good reason. Personally, we’re not inclined to...

No time for niceties and foreplay, darlings! Let’s GET TO IT!   Amanda Peet in Marc Jacobs Enh. There’s such a thing as being too tiered. And the length is awkward.   Andie MacDowell in David Meister She’s had the same hairstyle for over 20 years, but we...

Darlings, let’s all go to the 12th Annual AFI Awards Luncheon and dish on all the outfits.   Chloe Moretz in Versus Very cute. Sweetie, this is your silhouette; these are your proportions. Write them down so you don’t forget.   Claire Danes in Donna Karan We like it, but...

Because making celebrities cry is Job One here at T Lo Making Celebrities Cry Institute, Ltd.   Berenice Bejo in Elie Saab  Very pretty color; kinda shapeless; wrong shoes.   Charlize Theron in Azzedine Alaïa  Outside of Dior commercials, she doesn’t bring enough drama to her...

Not quite WERQ-worthy, but we still did a tiny gay gasp when these pictures showed up. Alas, our euphoria was short-lived.   Queen Latifah attends the premiere of “Joyful Noise” in LA in a David Meister dress paired with Sutra earrings. David Meister Ruched Long Sleeve Dress...