YES! VINDICATION! Oh, who are we trying to kid? Yes, we, like many, many other viewers, kindasorta figured there was a connection between Rebecca and the Barnes family (the number one clue being the name Rebecca), but it was one in a number of possible theories we threw out there. Personally,...

Oh, did we ever clap and cheer last night, as Dallas ran headlong and joyfully into the land of soap opera excess. Tears! Slaps! Plot-convenient brain seizures (inadvertently rendered HILARIOUS by Patrick Duffy’s hyper-blinking performance)! Threats! Hugs! Another brain seizure! A GUN...

We kind of passed out from exhaustion very early last night after two more whirlwind days of running around New York City like extremely stylish headless chickens, which means we not only missed last night’s Dallas, but we also missed out on the supreme pleasure of live-tweeting Dallas,...

Well, so much for our ability to pick the standout characters. There we were, watching the latest episode of Dallas and happily tweeting whatever smartass comments pop into our heads, MST3K-style, when Marta-Veronica appeared once again on our screens. “We think Marta is our favorite...

Did you ever notice that there are a LOT of scenes on this show of people reading something? VERY intently? Entire plot points hinge on A FILE or A DOCUMENT. It’s funny because it’s actually so true to ’80s-style nighttime soaps, which were ALL ABOUT business deals (when...

Okay, so: J.R. is screwing over both his son and his brother at the same time. John Ross is screwing with Rebecca and screwing Elena, while also screwing Marta, then screwing her over. Christopher is dream-screwing Elena, but in the end, he gave her the screws. Sue Ellen still has several...

We originally read the title of this episode as “The Prince You Pay,” which actually works better. Send all your Dallas scripts to us, TNT, and we’ll come up with witty titles for you, free of charge. Now, there’s something we need to admit right upfront: We already...

Fire up your Porsche, gitcher Stetson, and head on over to the Oil Baron’s Ball, bitches. The Ewing clan, in all their glorious dysfunction, is back in our lives. And y’know? The show is a hell of a lot better than a Dallas remake has any right to be. No, really. It’s good....