Our thoughts on this episode – and the second season as a whole – are fractured and contradictory, we’re warning you now. But then, isn’t that to be expected when discussing such a fractured and occasionally contradictory show? Here’s the thing: this finale...

We’re getting a strong whiff of “Final season of Lost” from our television lately. We were two of those people who didn’t hate the Lost finale as much as the internet told us we were supposed to. No, instead we reserved our ire for its final season as a whole; a...

Okay, now what? With two more hours of storytelling left to go, we’re puzzled as to what’s left to talk about. Sure, Jude’s fate is still up in the air, as is Kit’s, but with Mary Eunice, Arden, and Thredson all dead, the story has seriously lost its steam. There are...

Alrighty, then! Housekeeping time! Hey, remember all the whining about how they threw too many things at the wall for this season, what with the devil, the Nazi, the serial killer, the zombie mutants, and the aliens? Let’s wipe most of them out in one episode and just leave the serial...

My goodness, we’re getting awfully spoiled now. Two episodes in a row with linear narrative techniques and events following each other with something that resembles a natural progression. In fact, when the episode opened with a whole bunch of characters framing Sister Jude for the...

It really says something about this show that we considered the episode with the psychotic Santa Claus threatening to rape a nun with a crucifix to be something of a respite from all the craziness going on. We suppose it’s up to the individual to decide whether that’s a good thing...

We can accept – we have no choice, really – that American Horror Story defies conventional storytelling techniques and that it’s going to gleefully keep throwing things in the air in order to keep our attention. That’s the show. That’s always been the show....

We said it last season and we’ll say it again: No matter what complaints you may have about American Horror Story, you can’t deny that shit goes DOWN. It’s so refreshing to have a show that’s not afraid to advance the plot. Too many shows spend an entire season barely...

American Horror Story star Evan Peters is The Saddest Boy in the World for Flaunt mag:   ‘American Horror Story’ star Evan Peters is featured in the latest issue of Flaunt magazine photographed by Davis Factor. Great shots; very moody, if a little repetitive. Not really much...

We’re not sure if putting an adult Anne Frank in your story and placing a gun in her hands is a bold narrative move or merely a tasteless one. Our first impulse is to go with “offensive,” but then we wouldn’t have gotten the awesomeness of casting Franka Potente, who...

Hey, remember last week when we said that we didn’t think Dr. Arden was necessarily an evil character? Well, how you like me now, nympho-Shelly? That’ll teach you not to laugh at a man’s penis. Okay, so we were wrong about Arden, but since we have maintained all along that...

Ah, yes. The “throw every horror element we can think of at the wall” portion of our story. We remember it well from last season. Unlike then, we are prepared, however; although we’re not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. After all, last season was all about...

Having never grown up in or around turn-of-the-century mansions, and having our contact with aging psychopathic southern belles with equally murderous ghost children following them around somewhat limited, we never really found season 1 of American Horror Story to be all that scary. Shocking,...

Well you can’t claim they didn’t wrap things up. As we said in last week’s recap, on American Horror Story, shit goes down. But shit doesn’t necessarily go down in a manner that makes much sense or has much narrative flow to it. It took most of last episode for Vivian...

Oh, go ahead, snooty TV critics. Bitch about the plot and character inconsistencies; moan about the poor pacing and outrageous acting. We don’t care, because the one thing you can’t complain about is that nothing ever happens on this show. Say what you will about American Horror...

We’d like to be all smug (we LIVE for being smug), but let’s face it: half the internet figured out the twist in this episode. We weren’t the only ones and we doubt we were even close to being the first. But what made the reveal so interesting was the way it was revealed:...

One thing we can’t figure out about this show (cue the peanut gallery: “ONE thing?!?”) is how the hell the creators think they can keep this going semi-indefinitely. Haunted house stories typically have endings and they’re typically reached within a few hours of the...

Once again, the only way to write about this show is to not care about flow or paragraph structure. It’s not quite stream of consciousness, but it’s getting there. If the show won’t attempt linear narrative, then we feel safe discussing it in a herky-jerky manner. Strap...

Well gosh. Maybe we’re getting spoiled. After watching Vivian masturbate,  Moira bite off a man’s penis, and a single-breasted Nora put a bullet in her crazy husband’s head (as well as one in her own), we actually felt a little let down by this episode. That should tell you...

On this week’s installment of The Jessica Lange Method of Scenery Chewing and Scaring Your Co-Stars, Professor Lange was uncharacteristically subdued. No threatening to break anyone’s goddamn arm; no scenes where her tears literally leap off her face like they’re committing...

Y’know, when this show first premiered, it was savaged by the television critics. And while we have a lot of respect for a lot of television critics, it felt to us like the claws were out and fully sharpened on this one, because a lot of them were ready to pay back show creator Ryan...