Jessica Biel in NYC

Posted on Mar 18, 2013 in Celebrity

We’re not mad at Jessica’s outfit. Mildly annoyed maybe.

Jessica Biel leaves Southern Hospitality BBQ with Justin Timberlake in New York City after celebrating Timbaland’s birthday.

Look, you wanna wear your crocheted pants to Timbaland’s birthday party? Be our guest. But do you have to be dressed like a Christian missionary from the waist up? These things do not go, dear. It’s just a weird mix that leaves everyone around you thinking, “Man, her cooch must be freezing.”

We shall not mention the Hat of Douchery because everyone loves him at the moment and you’ll all just yell at us.

[Photo Credit: Splash]

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oldbobbydraper

i just can’t stand her. or any of her clothes.
filmcricket

Hmm. I like the shoes? And her hair looks good for a change?

Yeah, that’s all I got.
http://twitter.com/Mlle_D Donyelle

Puritan Go Go Dancer
- http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer
  
  fabulous
PastryGoddess

If one is going to wear inappropriate clothing for NYC in winter, then one needs to go all the way. No half assing it around here. You must COMMIT!

Don’t worry, we’ll still make fun of you
http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

Fashion victim. Someone really needs to tell her that she as about as much ‘edge’ as a basketball.
jetpackdino

I like the coat. But those pants do look annoying. Seems like they’d catch and snag on everything they came in contact with.
http://www.two-halves.com/ Michelle Le

my eyes have rolled back so far i can’t get them to focus anymore.
librarygrrl64

Channeling the bottom half of Barbra Streisand’s old Oscar outfit?
Lori

I don’t love him. I’m pretty much past over both of them. You should feel free to complain to me about the Hat of Douchery because I not only won’t yell, I’ll agree with wholeheartedly.
Chantelle James

Even if she weren’t wearing crocheted pants, wearing a coat that doesn’t close below the waist seems like an odd choice for this time of year.
MilaXX

I don’t. He works my last nerve and ruined an entire week of Fallon for me. She is literally wearing crazy pants with Hester Prine’s top.
- Sobaika
  
  YES. He is King of Douchedom. And his latest album isn’t even that great.
  - MilaXX
    
    His new cd says, ” that acting career didn’t really take off, lemme sing some more”
    - Sobaika
      
      I heard ’2 parts Robin Thicke, 1 part Bruno Mars and hit blend’
      - MilaXX
        
        At least Robin Thicke has a sense of humour about the whole thing. JT really thinks he’s rockin blue eyed soul
      - Le_Sigh
        
        The only thing his eyes have been rocking is the crazy lately. I just can’t.
- aeb1986
  
  I’ll defend him! I love JT, love his music, watching him perform, and don’t find him to be a douche at all. To the contrary, I think he seems pretty fun and laid back. But the hat, that I will not defend. And her outfit…don’t even know where to start w that.
  - MilaXX
    
    My favorite line regarding JT was uttered by Prince at a concert a few years back. He said, “some would like you to believe that they are bringing sexy back….. I say sexy never left the building!” and the proceeded to jam his tiny little butt off.
    - formerlyAnon
      
      I only hit the “up arrow” button because there is no LOVE button.
  - RebeccaKW
    
    I do find JT very funny, and like some of his music. But having a good sense of humor and being a good performer are not mutually exclusive with douchery.
- http://twitter.com/kerryev kerryev
  
  With Hester’s top *tucked in.*
http://twitter.com/Glam_Dixie Glam Dixie

I thought it was a skirt, i like it even less as pants. I am liking her bangs swept to the side, it’s a big improvement.
I don’t like him and I’ll say it, he looks like a total douche in that hat (and out of it as well).
Inspector_Gidget

From the waist down, she invites you to ogle her nether regions. From the waist up, she’s ready to rap your knuckles with a wooden ruler for doing so.
- Vlasta Bubinka
  
  Serving up the confused love child of CottonMathers and bellestar realness!
Anathema_Device

She looks ridiculous. Head to toe. Pithiness fails me in the face of such a ridiculous outfit.
poggi

I hope someone FedEx’d her new pants.
butter nut

was it a 90′s theme party?
- http://twitter.com/Mlle_D Donyelle
  
  Club MTV!
nannypoo

I have always wondered what nuns wear under their habits. But isn’t there some headgear to go with it?
BP180

After a long and pretty terrible day at work, I would like to thank Jessica for giving me a true LOL. Because I laughed and LAUGHED at the ridiculousness of this outfit.
mightbewrong

Really? I’m pretty mad at it.

Well, amused maybe.
snarkykitten

it’s a pair of douchebags in their native habitat.
http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

You all are better than me, because the Peter Pan color is pissing me off and giving me eye rolls.
- Iroqhard
  
  GAWD yes. I was coming to bitch about the stupid Peter Pan collar. HATE THOSE. I am not a 12 year old in an 17th century schoolhouse. And then I clicked on the link and scrolled down. I guess Justin wanted her to come to his birthday party without pants? For his present? What DO you get someone who can get anything they want?
myristica_fragrans

she looks like a damned fool.
- mary McCall
  
  And so does he – that hat is ridiculous.
  - myristica_fragrans
    
    and you know it took forever for her to pick out and accessorize that travesty. i bet they were late.
e jerry powell

I don’t love him, and I’ll say so.
Rand Ortega

What a waste of a good fishnet. Every time I see this person& her ridiculous attempts to be stylish my eyes roll so far back I can see the past.
- Magatha
  
  Really. JB should stick with what works for her, at least for everything but the actual red carpet: blue jeans and well-cut shirts and t-shirts.
butterflysunita

Very slutty nun. Not working at all.
Jangle57

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha – oh and not everyone loves the Hat of Douchery so please don’t hold back on my account
Pants_are_a_must

I see he’s been playing dress up with her as his mannequin again.

Timberdouche, STOP.
Little_Olive

Hold it. She actually tucked the shirt under the semi-see-through pants?
- capybara_cafe
  
  Omg, I just noticed that.There is so much wrong with this outfit I can’t even.
- http://twitter.com/emilyf007 emily
  
  What. The. Fuck.
NoGovernmentName

This is the outfit that Abigail Williams wore when John Proctor put knowledge in her heart…
MzzPants

Those are pants. Good God. And I completely agree with the hat of douchery even though I like his new music. Damn pop singers. Always gettin’ in your head and shit.
In_Stitches

I wonder how they’d look with opaque black tights…or maybe something in the neon family. Probably equally, if not more, ridiculous.
Wendi126

This is bitchy as hell but I give them two years
Funkykatt

She must shop the same thrift stores as I .
Flaming June

Wow! I must have missed the “everyone hates Jessica” memo. I think this is a great look for a party – the whole slutty nun thing is very attention getting. I may be overly giddy, though, because she finally has her bangs out of her eyes!
Maryanne525

Oh COME ON. She looks fucking ridiculous.
Zippypie

Two tools in a shed.
kmk05

Those pants are Chanel x_x I’ve seen them on the mannequins, and… if Biel and her body can’t pull them off, no one can. I’m wondering if the collar is part of the coat or her shirt, of if it is actually a coat-shirt that she can’t take off and she had to eat in.
- http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman
  
  I beg to differ. Give them to Gaga and watch them werq.
  - kmk05
    
    Huh, didn’t think of her! We haven’t seen her much around here. She would definitely werq them with a twist.
    
    I still can’t understand the coat. Or the shirt.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1129137319 Paula Pertile

Hooker clergy!
http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

Hasn’t the hat of douchery been his thing for a while? Those crocheted pants? I just can’t.
Nick Salvador

I like it. She looks like a slutty Judge Judy.
Qdahling

I can’t with this…gah my eyes can’t unsee this!!!!!
jmorino08

A little makeup seems to be appropriate as well. I’m all for a “fresh face” but this doesn’t really seem the occasion nor the outfit for it.
mary McCall

I feel silly mentioning this, given the overall scope of this disaster, but are those *pants* too long and dragging on the ground?
http://twitter.com/cornekopia Shawn EH

Dirty puritans just upset me. Maybe if she’d worn a scarlet “J” bauble.
- Iroqhard
  
  That would’ve saved the outfit, actually. It would’ve shown she was in on the joke. Because this whole thing is BUSTED.
http://twitter.com/CaitrinofFenris Caitrin

He’s too funny on SNL for me to hate him. Don’t watch or listen to him any other time.
- formerlyAnon
  
  Catch him when he’s on Jimmy Fallon. They are funny together because they crack each other up.
SorayaS

They are the worst! Unfortunately (I know from experience!) thinking you’re stylish does not automatically make you stylish. Stick to what you’re good at kids!
Anniebet

Holy batshit! Cannot compute.
H2olovngrl

First thing I noticed was the hat of douchery. Her? Meh.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1013443339 Hannah Prutton

#teamjustin
Imasewsure

If there’s something hot hidden under that weird coat then I can live with the pants (for this party only) but that outfit is laughable
YourBaloneyDontGotNoSecondName

what. the. fuck. is she wearing
formerlyAnon

It’s his birthday. Maybe he likes the ensemble? Whatever.

I don’t quite see why you slag the hat, which I’m sure was [much] earlier worn by another working stiff my dad chatted with at some Jersey City bar, back before he (dad) grew all the way up and had kids.
GTrain

She still looks like his mom.
Dagney

Risky, weird, and stunning. In.
http://twitter.com/BigBearSpeaks Big Bear

Flush them both, everything is terrible.
http://twitter.com/lolacestmoi Lola Channing

I think some things seem like a great idea at home.
http://twitter.com/lolacestmoi Lola Channing

I do like the coat dress thing though.
decormaven

All this look needs is a pilgrim hat that has been spotted recently on the runway.
Indigo54

I LOVE that outfit, just wish she’d own it a little more.
http://profile.yahoo.com/37TPKASIMXVUPYK5BNQFOL43KU Carina

HAHAHA! ‘Hat of Douchery’. Comedy gold. No comment on the holey pants.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Austen-Jane/100002245814326 Austen Jane

Lets not forget the shoes, which ALSO belong to a completely different outfit. Hot. Mess.
Erica_Vuitton

First pic: Have you ever seen a man trying so hard keep his eyes on his wife and NOT at the gorgeous woman giving him sexy eyes to his left?

Seriously who is her stylist? That whole look is a mess from H to T.
rococodada

OK, I’ll admit I’ve been watching way too much of the Jody Arias trial but don’t you think Jessica Biel is a dead ringer for her? (at least in these pics) I heard Lifetime is already making a tv movie about her.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

This is a woman who thinks she is able to pull off insane outfits such as this. Girl, you are not. It is painfully obvious to everyone but you at this point.
VeryClaire

Slutty Pilgrim
Super_Red

I ADORE that coat she’s wearing. I’ll have one in every color, please. and I don’t mind the top underneath it, but holy crap those are some ugly pants she’s wearing. I like your “say it out loud” rule. “Crocheted pants.” No. just… no.
lobsterlen

Slutty Nun?
Lilyana_F

Lol Hat of Douchery! Nailed it!

She cannot pull off an outfit like that.
anotherkate

I’m definitely mad at it. YUCK. If I had her body, her face, and her means, I would like to think I’d do better.
padma sallah

I am more than mildy annoyed. I am raging. Wear crocheted pants is equal to wearing no pants at all. You might as well as gone the no-pants rule and atleast then I would have been all, “Hate the make-up, but OMG, those calves!”. But now I am, “akvmjdbkndl, clothes are wasted on you.”
CarolinLA

Its too bad about the Hat of Douchery because JT is so talented. I’ve never really been a fan but I am amazed at his ability to entertain and to put himself out there.
Jessi03

That is definitely the hat of douchery. I love him, but that is some Nice Guys of OKC realness right there.
Katdawg

Dear Jessica, next time you go outside please try and invoke the Fug Girls’ rule of saying the name of your outfit out loud beforehand.

“Pilgrim in Granny Panties”

Exactly.
marilyn

Her makeup was too pale to be wearing so much black. She looks like she was late and did not have time to do her face.
- l_c_ann
  
  Makeup? She looks that drawn and wiped out intentionally?
EEKstl

I can’t believe the old ball and chain let her out of the house like that! But seriously, WTF?
Beverly Kozma

I laugh!
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000905542323 Rhonda Shore

She overthought it and it’s a sad fail. I preferred her as a blonde.
DaveUWSNYC

Postulant on top…elderly Sister of SMBD on the bottom
newtonGOTbeaned

The worst thing about the pants, for me, is that you can see way too much of what’s going on in the crotch region. I see the bottom of her white shirt tucked in to those pants, and I’m pretty sure I’m seeing a smaller pair of undies under the grannies. I guess what I’m trying to say is that the modesty panel isn’t modest enough. Or something.
thelovelydove

…Puritan hooker?
MarissaLG

I weirdly would really like this with different pants, or a cool mini skirt maybe? Justin’s outfit is unforgivable.
PrunellaV

I’m thinking of starting a count of how many days it’s been since we saw her lips.
libraangel

OMG This is the worst thing I have seen in a long, long time. And REPEAT: SO over granny panties!!! (ugly as sin)
kathrineb

Agreed terrible combination. As for Timberlake mention away, I don’t like the man.
http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

Horrible.
dschubba

I keep waiting for her thighs to tell me to say 10 Hail Marys.

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Jessica Biel in NYC

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