Pairs Division: Biel and Timberlake in Tom Ford
We were kind of hilariously cranky trying to put this post together. They’re celebrities, wearing designer clothing, attending a London fashion show, so you’d think this was right up our alley, but we find them both so irritating that all we can do is utter our disgust and/or annoyance. “GOD, they get on my nerves.”
It’s coming out of left field, because we never had particularly strong feelings about them before (which is to say, negative ones, but we weren’t making a crusade out of it or anything), but something about these pictures is causing our right hands to involuntarily rise up, the urge to slap so strong in us that we can’t even control our limbs; like something out of Poe, if he wrote about fashion and celebrity bloggers, which, let’s face it; he should have.
So let’s get to it, shall we?
Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake attend the Tom Ford Fall 2013 in London.
Tom Ford Spring 2013 Collection/Model: Juliet Ingleby
SHE: Is serving up Agent 99 realness, which means that, for once, the booms are actually working in her favor a little bit. Okay, no. Not really. Them booms is INSANE. The dress, on the other hand, is sharp and sexy, with a slightly harder edge than she normally works. We like it on her. The shoes are an okay choice, but don’t quite elevate the look the way a really kickass pair could. We’d be inclined to score this fairly high, grading it against her normal boring RC choices, but we simply can’t get behind any look that’s topped off with that Sarah-Palin-on-steroids hair of hers. Whoever keeps advising her that this is a good look needs to be deported. Also: the look is calling for some jewelry. Score: 5/10. And that’s mostly dress.
HE: Is so nakedly attention-seeking that we find it almost blinding. If he and Lea Michele ever, God forbid, became a couple, it would be like a celebrity supernova of narcissism. Having gotten the insults and bitchery out of the way, we’re forced to admit that we find nothing objectionable here and he actually looks pretty good. Score: 8.75/10. He’s wearing a suit that fits him well. Let’s not act like he cured syphilis or something.
Combined score: 6.875/10. They’re awful.
[Photo Credit: Getty]