Heidi Klum in Jean Paul Gaultier on Jay Leno

Posted on Jan 25, 2013 in Fashion

Even when it’s not tight and short, Fraulein Heidi still manages to almost flash her hoo-ha.

Heidi Klum makes an appearance on ‘The Tonight Show With Jay Leno’ in a Jean Paul Gaultier dress accessorized with Versace booties.

Versace Lace-up Bootie

It’s kind of a shame (except for those who want a glimpse of her hoo-ha, we suppose), because if that dress wasn’t so sheer, this would be a really cute look. Love the witchy shoes.

She’s still got it, though. Might as well show that hoo-ha off while she can, we suppose. At least this is better than that horrifying thing she wore last night on Project Runway. She looked like the manager of a Piercing Pagoda in that tacky thing.

Of course she had to get maximum use out of it:

Bless.

[Photo Credit: NBC, Barbara Nitke for Lifetime - Video Credit: NBC]

Tags:

formerlyAnon

Sweet Jesus.

Very cute dress from the hips up.

She’s got some kind of disconnect, or perhaps a unique sartorial world view that’s some sort of amalgam of life experiences & influences that no one else has had, apparently.
- http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd
  
  Well, she certainly knows how to grab all the attention, no?
  Personally, I find that dress vulgar in the extreme.
  - formerlyAnon
    
    That would be because it IS vulgar in the extreme, and your judgement is sound.
  - StellaZafella
    
    ”Victoria’s got no secrets left to tell!”
  - Stubenville
    
    Showing the good china” as Peach would say.
  - https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou
    
    It’s certainly not a sitting down dress, is it? More of a standing dress, really. Or even a walking dress — say, if one were walking the streets, perhaps at a certain hour of the evening.
    - http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd
      
      But not really a hooker dress either. Too much skirt to deal with. (I know, I know, TMI)
      - http://profile.yahoo.com/2LIE6ISFQUBIAO7OB6U5TAVXXQ Depot'er
        
        more like a hiding in the corner of the kitchen at the dinner party dress.
      - https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou
        
        One hesitates to speculate how you might know now much skirt is too much skirt for a hooker dress.
      - http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd
        
        I shall only say that I have a wide and various body of friends. (ahem)
      - formerlyAnon
        
        Tell the truth and shame the devil: you don’t “hesitate to speculate” AT ALL. Not for one little second, do you? ;D
- marilyn
  
  I think she has a cultural gap. As many years as she has lived in the US, she is still a European at heart. She apparently took the Euro-Trash trend of the ’80′s (or was it ’90′s?) to heart, and found her era there. She is divorced, so she is doing The Divorcee, Euro-style. She is happy, the clothes get her noticed for better or worse, and she does have a good figure. This is just her way. Just when you think she will never improve, she comes out in a totally tasteful look. Maybe that is the day her stylist is sick and the substitute stylist is there. No matter, she keeps us all interested.
  - formerlyAnon
    
    I think this makes sense. Because it makes no sense that she isn’t aware of how her choices fit into the spectrum of what beautiful, wealthy, 40-ish recently divorced women wear.
  - Call me Bee
    
    Agree…mostly. Honestly, though, I can’t remember the last time I saw Heidi in a totally tasteful outfit.
Judy_J

I wonder what her kids think of her outfits. “Oh, look. Mommy’s flashing her hoo-ha again.”
- formerlyAnon
  
  I was thinking “what does her mother think of these get ups?” Though I’m sure her mom (whom I assume is still alive) made her peace with Heidi’s s various life choices long ago. Or when she started producing grandchildren, as so often happens.
  - patticake1601
    
    wow.
    - formerlyAnon
      
      ”wow.”?
      
      Do I sound harsh? Don’t mean to be.
      
      I was That Daughter. (And I’ve noticed the phenomenon at work in other families.)
      
      The relationship grease that my kids provided was a wonderful thing.
      - patticake1601
        
        It did sound kind of judgmental but don’t mean to make you feel bad about it. But that’s how it came off, especially when you say “various life choices”. She had one kid with a boyfriend then married Seal and had a gaggle of kids with him, I don’t see anything wrong there.
        
        She is now divorced and apparently is a very sexual person and proud of her body and needs to show it off to all and sundry. I’m fine with her, she is gorgeous and does have a killer body, even more amazing knowing she had kids.
      - formerlyAnon
        
        Don’t worry, I didn’t feel bad!
        
        I used “various life choices” mostly to cover as much ground as possible – not to criticize anything in particular beyond my criticism of her dress. For all I know her mother struggles with the idea that her daughter lives and works thousands of miles away more than she does with the clothes she wears or her kids or relationships.
        
        I *do* think there’s nothing wrong with having fluid-to-the-situation rule-of-thumb type limits to what is “appropriate” to wear in what circumstances. Not at all because I want to perpetuate “slut shaming.” Primarily because dress in public is always to some extent costume which society members use to draw conclusions about others. Having known boundaries makes it easier to navigate that – to meet the clothing equivalent of “community standards” or to flout them, and to know what conclusion the audience will draw. That’s why, in my original comment, I said I felt like she has a disconnect. So many people here wonder why she dresses in a way we see as “tacky” when she has nothing obvious to gain from it because, I think, her view of what is tacky isn’t the same as some of ours.
        
        I also chafe at the fact that in most settings there is a very specific body that is “approved” for generous display, but bodies which deviate from the “killer body” parameters do not meet with such approval, but that’s a different discussion.
        
        I personally admire Ms. Klum because she’s obviously got good business sense and works hard at what she does. Very few women (or men – look at pro sports players) transition from being very successful in a job that (whatever else you also have to offer) depends on a youthful and genetically gifted body to equal or greater success in a subsequent career.
- eowyn_of_rohan
  
  I doubt her kids are watching Jay Leno. That’s tantamount to child abuse.
eowyn_of_rohan

Someone should tell her they already made Basic Instinct 2.
teensmom99

If it were lined, the dress would be great. Too much to hope for, I guess.
Jessi03

Jesus Christ, Heidi. Wtf is that?
unbornfawn

Talk about attention whores……
alyce1213

I saw this. I was embarrassed for her.
- MoHub
  
  I’m happy you were embarrassed for her as I don’t believe she herself is capable of embarrassment unless it means embarrassing her kids.
- gsk241
  
  Me, too. She’s selling herself (metaphorically) short if she thinks that all she has is her body. Kinda pathetic, actually.
http://www.facebook.com/AntoniaDonnelly Antonia O’Connor Donnelly

At first when I saw this photo from the waist up, I thought “wow, she looks lovely”, then it went right to tacky town. I love the boots!
Vickiefantastico

Oh Heidi, I love your fun, quirky fashion awesomeness!
SRQkitten

I don’t know this seems to be almost falling into that Halle-territory of “YES! I can look FIERCE and SEXY even if I am getting older.”

Sometimes it just seems like its trying a bit too hard. Yes, we know you’re a Victoria’s Secret angel, blahblahblah, but when you do this stuff constantly, it does get a whiff of desperation.

srq
- 3boysful
  
  Like her jeans ad. Cringe-worthy.
  - MilaXX
    
    I bet even Drew Barrymore is saying, “damn girl, stop trying so hard.”
    - Rand Ortega
      
      LOL! So. THIS! I was thinking, at least Drew was 20 & high when she flashed Letterman.
      - MilaXX
        
        Exactly, Heidi has no excuse.
- formerlyAnon
  
  More than a whiff.
Alyssa

How on earth did she think this would be a good dress for sitting down?! This could have been so great, if it were lined. I love the boots, her hair looks natural and is relaxed instead of sleeked back…the potential was here! Did no one tell her leaving some things to the imagination is good?
- http://pulse.yahoo.com/_LSGDWPRY6JLBPB43EO6MIAURZI what
  
  Her hair does look natural but that pitch black part creeps me out a little.
  - Alyssa
    
    Baby steps…I take what I can get when it comes to Heidi!
http://twitter.com/emilyf007 emily

I’m impressed with everyone who has been able to come up with comments for this. I just looked at the pictures, shaking my head and am speechless. There are no words to describe what I’m feeling re this outfit.
- throwaneyeonthis
  
  The only word I come up with is, “why?”
  - http://twitter.com/emilyf007 emily
    
    See, I was so dumbstruck I didn’t even come up with that.
kalisa

Tacky. The look and the behavior.
- DTLAFamilies
  
  +1000
3boysful

There’s something–the center part? the black eye makeup?–giving me whiff of Gwynnie here. But I don’t think Ms Paltrow would wear this hooha dress. It would be cute if lined, however.
MissMariRose

This is just sad. If I were inclined to spare any pity for a multimillionaire supermodel, I’d be embarrassed for her.
beebee10

hidieous
- http://www.facebook.com/people/Bethany-Roullett/100000413803142 Bethany Roullett
  
  Heidious?
  - 3boysful
    
    Bwahahahah!
  - Eclectic Mayhem
    
    Bethany you just won the internet!
  - Judy_J
    
    Congratulations, Bethany! You have coined the perfect descriptor for the Heidi look.
    - http://www.facebook.com/people/Bethany-Roullett/100000413803142 Bethany Roullett
      
      Hey, thanks!
snarkykitten

The desperation is just rolling off her in waves
Annabelle Archer

Jeezus, lady. Give. It. A. Rest.
muelonil

October 31, 2012
Dear Diary,
Decided to be Cleopatra this year and save slutty witch costume for future Leno appearance. So glad I gave up undergarments a long time ago because this choice was tough enough.
Love,
Heidi
http://twitter.com/PsychicMuppet Bitsy Carver

This just looks really desperate.
m0r0

No negative comment about the Witchy-poo booties? Surprised.
- http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd
  
  As I have said many a time in my life, no matter how well you care for your body, Gravity Is Going To Win.
  - formerlyAnon
    
    So true. So sad. Yet, while life is still mostly good, so much better than the alternative.
Little_Olive

Oh Heidi, you are leaving us no choice but to “OfCourse” you.
- sojourneryouth
  
  So true! It’s becoming de riguer for her to wear something with very little dignity lately. While it does grab attention, certainly, what kind of attention, and from whom? I have a slightly older divorced friend who is still very much a babe doing this right now, and she’s lamenting that only attracts shallow jerks. The connection. She hasn’t made it.
Claudia Fernandes

the witchy booties reminds me of donald duck’s grandmother shoes
- Karen Maslowski
  
  They look like foot corsets to me.
  
  And I wonder if she punctured Jay’s guest chair with the heels. He did look!
- kimmeister
  
  They look like kinky ice skates.
Rand Ortega

I’d rather watch Seal’s shit eatin’ grin at this pathetic display.
http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

I hated this dress when I saw it on Leno. And the SHOES?! They’re atrocious.
SugarSnap108

Sad. All I can see is a woman so terrified of getting older that all she can do is show off her bits and jump on furniture to show us how very youthful she still is. The irony is that the undergarments she refuses to wear would actually lift and de-age her … droopy parts.
elemspbee

oh my. pretty face though, and body of course. but that dress, ayayay.
MilaXX

Make it in white and JLo would cut a bitch for it.
- random_poster
  
  Brilliant!
http://twitter.com/Alloyjane Alloy Jane

Cheap. I love how he totally instinctively backed away from her when she got up to assault his table. He may as well have yelled “BACK AWAY EVIL SUCCUBUS!!!!” and made the cross.
- formerlyAnon
  
  Hahahaha!
http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

I like her hair. I wore boots like that when I was going through my The Craft phase. Everything else is misguided.
jw_ny

so tacky!

I’m all for having fun…but that dress, that dance…yes, bless…

smh!
B_C_J

Oh my!! She is a beautiful woman but is doing herself a tremendous disfavor wearing something as tasteless as this outfit. The shoes just add to the atrociousness of the total look. I am horrified that someone in the fashion industry would lack the discernment to walk away from this gown when it was presented to her.
EEKstl

WTF??? Just…WTF??? If the skirt were solid she would have sold me.
TSkot

Isn’t “hoo-ha” slang for vagina? While this was tacky as shit, the only thing exposed was too much thigh and ass, right?
- random_poster
  
  Now you’re just splitting h-….oh, never mind.
- BrooklynBomber
  
  I’d say in this case “hoo-ha” is slang for poor taste, which is amply on display.
- ecallaw1977
  
  Methinks you are taking TLo a bit too literally…
- alyce1213
  
  It was a different view when she crossed her legs.
- RebeccaKW
  
  Well, if you look at the 2 pics of her sitting down taken from more of a front view, you can see both upper thighs as they meet near the hoo-hah. If she had tried a bit harder, the hoo-hah probably could get flashed during a crossing/uncrossing moment. And they do say ‘almost’ flash it in the post.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Alexandra-Glorioso/10025811 Alexandra Glorioso

Break ups do strange things to people.
stubbornthoughts

I’d like to take a moment of silence for this dress and what it could’ve been before it’s time was abruptly cut short when it got sheered.
- stubbornthoughts
  
  Her hair looks fantastic though.
appliquer

Tacky.
mmc2315

Not tasteful, that’s for sure. She is a beauty though, isn’t she?
- HomeOfficeGirl
  
  Only Hiedi, right? SMH. Love her anyway.
BrooklynBomber

oh, my god. that’s awful.
Stubenville

Won’t you take me to couuuuugar town? sung to the tune of Funkytown
- dress_up_doll
  
  Now I have a major earworm going on!
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1401197785 Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

Oh lord. Girl is losing her mind. Yes, she still looks great, but I find her a lot more attractive when she’s not putting it all out there.

Crap. I’m turning into my mother.
altalinda

Oh for crying out loud.
Kristina Toma

In that second image, her expression seems to say, “Are you ready to see my hoo-ha?!”
librarygrrl64

This is sadlarious (sad + hilarious). I agree that a less sheer version would be pretty, but, thing is, even with the sheerness, it could have been kind of cute with a colored slip/crinoline under it. But, as is, super tacky and desperate.
Tamara Hogan

Heidi is seriously having a midlife crisis.
ampg

The best part is that it wouldn’t have been too horrible if she had just crossed her legs left over right, but no, she had to go out of her way to get that camera as close to the good china as possible.
http://twitter.com/AShinyOConnor A Shiny O’Connor

Dear. God. No. To. Infinity.
mhleta

Whatever she did to her face on the hiatus looks marvelous. Her eyes look brighter and she doesn’t have that “My marriage just ended and my children are sucking the youth out of every cell of my body” look to her anymore. HOWEVER, sometimes my single 53-year old sister goes to parties thrown by people much younger than her wearing mini-dresses and outrageous boots and drinks too much and hates herself in the morning and I cringe for her as I view the evidence on facebook. Heidi’s outfits are inducing the same level of cringing in my soul. “She looked like the manager of a Piercing Pagoda in that tacky thing.” Yeah, that too.
l_c_ann

I’m sure Mrs. Leno is now rethinking the wisdom at having their neighbor, Heidi, over for drinks.

Every season, Heidi goes on Tonight Show to do her pole dance, but just never got this close to the real thing.
http://twitter.com/watchinginkdry Krysta

Frau Heidi is working her way towards meriting “Of course” just as much as Lea M . . .
j_anson

Oh lordy.
http://profile.yahoo.com/DNWEFT2SVBX5T3NPMROQCT4U2U jennyv

Sigh. Oh Heidi. At least her hair and face look great.
http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

Oh, ffs.
Laurie Bergman

Wow…a dress that comes complete with its very own spider veins! (However, I’m loving those boots.)
Scarlet39

Taste issues
warnerave

of course…
decormaven

May the ghost of Johnny Carson whack this gnome on her noggin. She’s going for bewitching, and ends up twitching.
http://twitter.com/wonderdivaEtsy wonderdivaEtsy

What the crap? That is all I could think when I saw that dress.

Love your Piercing Pagoda comment! You guys are tossing out killer one-liners today!
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_F73LIJ3SJGI5AJQMXMWXCKILHI Pamela

YES HEIDI, we GET it!! You’re genetically blessed and will look better than 99% of us when you’re eighty! Why must you constantly shove that in our faces? She only gets more annoying as time passes. And those Witchy-Poo shoes are fug-ugly..
http://robot-heart.tumblr.com heartbot

That is not a sitting down dress. Or a standing up dress.
- Stubenville
  
  Or a wear-out-of-the-house dress.
poggi

It is certainly vulgar to echo other BKs. But I also find the black spider vein embellishment on her thighs and hips a bit creepy. Also I am not sure that sheer haunch panels are particularly attractive on anyone.
MzzPants

Face. Palm.
http://twitter.com/MajorBedhead MajorBedhead

I can’t…I just…I’m….*blink blink*
SassieCassy

listen after a divorce and a bunch of kids if you got it then FLAUNT IT
guest2visits

How overjoyed is she with being able to wear something like this for all of America! (since it’s not a daytime show, or a shampoo
commercial) It’s like she got the big shiny star on the top of her homework!
margaret meyers

Witchy Poo was on Leno?
Modeniete

Someone mentioned in the comments last night that they had forgotten how annoying her voice can be after weeks of listening to the apparently sopofiric Carolyn Murphy (whose voice I have actually never heard, because I have been “watching” only the TLo channel for several seasons now). For the record, Heidi sounds even more grating in German on Germany’s Next Top Model.

There’s a word in German for this sound: “quietschen.” It’s pronounced kind of like “kveechen.” It’s kind of onomatopoetic. I think in an extended sense it also onomatopoetically describes both how she dresses as well as how she behaves (as least in the embedded video).

Good grief.
Trisha26

Horrendous.
boweryboy

Words escape me.
libraangel

HEIDI- repeat: I am not 20 years old anymore. I will not wear too short, too tight, too revealing clothes anymore. I am the mother of 4 children and will try to look more respectable – INSTEAD OF A SLUT!
bertkeeter

I swear to GOD…she did the same thing at Harvey Weinsteins Goledn Globe Party…dancing on a table top…I have the video. Heidi looks truly AMAZING! HOT!
- formerlyAnon
  
  Keep doling out these little peeks into that party! It’s fun to hear things from someone who was actually in the room.
quiltrx

I love the shoes (I bet HBC has a pair), and I love the dress…from the waist up. Below, it goes right into vulgar trash town.

As hubby and I find ourselves too-often saying (and we’re childless-by-choice, mind you)–”FOR FUCK’S SAKE, you’re someone’s MOTHER. Act like it!!”
Peeve

Apparently she’s learned very little from 11 seasons of PR!
UglyTalents

Never change, Heidi!
Zippypie

Heidi, honey, you’ve crossed that line from sexy to pathetic.

Love the shoes though.
ccm800

Shes having more fun than all of us combined and can wear what ever the hell she wants because of it Never change
Lisa M. (ReVoir) Kramp

I don’t like it much, but I do love it on her. She’s Das KLUM, fergunnesssakes! She rocks no matter what.
barbarienne

Ironically, if the skirt were tighter, her hoo-hah would be more shielded.
kikisayshi

I’m sure Ms. Heidi knows exactly what she’s showing here, but this certainly is NOT a sit-down dress.
http://profiles.google.com/rosatcollege Ros Clarke

That is not a sitting down dress. That is a walking with a swirl to show an occasional glimpse dress.

Tacky, tacky, tacky, Ms Klum.
http://profile.yahoo.com/47S737MGWCAZEZ73QOAFKDFEKQ Jill

Heidi has no taste at all. In addition to being ugly, this dress is aging her to the extreme. She looks ridiculous.
http://www.tipsfornaturalbeauty.com/ Dima Al Mahsiri

What is that ?!

Share This

Heidi Klum in Jean Paul Gaultier on Jay Leno

Archives

Follow us

Archives