Jessica Biel in Paris

Posted on Oct 10, 2012 in Celebrity

Okay, we give up with this girl.

Jessica Biel out and about in Paris in Isabel Marant.

Isabel Marant Spring 2013 Collection/Model: Kasia Struss (WOMEN)

Isabel Marant Spring 2013 Collection/Model: Julia Frauche (NATHALIE)

For God’s sake, honey, LEARN TO EDIT.

The thing is, we like pretty much all of these pieces – no, really – but when you put them all together in the same look, you’re approaching Edina Monsoon levels of fashion victimhood. Just because it all walked a runway together doesn’t mean it’s going to look good when it’s walking down the street.

[Photo Credit: WENN, vogue.com]

Tags:

YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

She’s a tragic victim of THE BEDAZZLER!!!
- http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gabriella M
  
  I already said it above, but – She’s a rhinestone cowboy!
- https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou
  
  Why, oh why is there not a Batman villain named the Bedazzler?
  - http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd
    
    Hee Hee. One of his nefarious attempts on Batman’s life would be the time he attempts to pour him into a giant acrylic gem stone he’s going to make, then mount on top of his lair.
    - EveEve
      
      Or bedazzle his bat cape so heavily that he can’t fly into his batmobile and get away. But I digress.
      Jessica has no eye for fashion and needs to find some better help.
      - http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera
        
        Only the Dynamic Duo of Tom & Lorenzo can save her!
  - drdarke
    
    There’s a Marvel super heroine called “Dazzler”, @Gayer Than Thou – is that close?
- B_C_J
  
  You hit the nail on the head.
- Warmheartedgirl Seattle
  
  Its STUD-tastic!
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

While I think cropped pants are flattering on petite women, they don’t generally work on taller women. I speak from experience. You just look like you’re wearing high-waters (or as the young’uns say now, ‘floods’).

As Tlo noted, these pieces are fine on their own. That top would be especially cute with jeans and sandals. But for god’s sake, it’s FALL. I suppose the 50 degree weather is why she threw a leather jacket over a spring/summer outfit? Learn to dress for the season/weather, people.
- RebeccaKW
  
  And certainly never crop pants with booties that leave a gap of skin showing.
- DaringMiss
  
  As a 5’9″ tall woman, I completely agree with you about cropped pants. I have tried several times over the years to wear cropped pants and they just never looked right on me.
  
  (Plus they gave me flashbacks to my tragic childhood in pants that were never long enough!)
  - http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather
    
    Yes, me too!! Tho now I’m 5’8″ which is not gigantically tall, I was always the tallest girl in my class growing up and reached my current height when I was about 12. From the ages of about 9 to 14 I was incapable of finding clothes that fit. (Since I had no hips or breasts, juniors sizes didn’t fit me either.) Am still traumatized.
http://www.facebook.com/izzzyy Dixie Murphy Ross

*looks down at outfit*

I suddenly feel better about myself. THANKS, JESSICA BIEL!
BeeBeauNYC

That’s a lot of sparkles for one outfit.
deathandthestrawberry

Why is she holding her purse like that? It’s really bugging me. I also just realized I need to add her to my Irrational Hate list. Megan Fox hasn’t been bugging me lately, so Jessica can take her spot.
Sobaika

I LOVE THAT SHIRT!!

I will do it much better justice than Biel ever could. Please send it my way. Thank you.
- lovelyivy
  
  i LOVE that shirt. I have already fired up Gilt, Ruelala AND ideeli to see if i can find an acceptable substitute. Alas no dice.
  - 3boysful
    
    Grab your Bedazzler and MAKE yourself a copy!
- http://profiles.google.com/gillianholroyd gillian holroyd
  
  Fightcha for it.
http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

Oh honey, NO! The pants are awesome. The jacket is hilarious with it though. It looks like someone attacked it with a bedazzler so the jacket would “go” with the pants. And as a side note: I am begging you here, lose the bangs. Bangs only serve to broaden your lovely face, and you already have very wide, high cheekbones.
- formerlyAnon
  
  I like the broad cheekbone look. But then, I tend to like strong bones over conventional pretty.
  - http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd
    
    I come, originally, from western Pa. And the number of people of east European extraction is very high, so I grew up with a fondness for the “high and wide”, thing, facially. I just feel that the bangs, shorten and broaden her face too much. And she is so lovely, she needn’t mess with her facial proportions in that way.
    - formerlyAnon
      
      I totally agree that she’s lovely.
      
      And we’re kinda sort of almost former neighbors, one generation removed! My mom was first generation Polish-American from Pennsylvania. (Though she fled within a week of graduating high school, never to live there again.)
      - http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd
        
        Born in McKeesport, and grew up in and around Pittsburgh, myself.
      - bitchybitchybitchy
        
        My dad grew up in a tiny coal town, Kittanning, so far west that it was almost in the next state.
      - librarygrrl64
        
        I know that one, too. Pittsburgh has always been more like Ohio/the Midwest, than it like most of PA/the Mid-Atlantic anyway. It’s a wiiiiiiide state. And that turnpike ride is brutal.
      - bitchybitchybitchy
        
        Our family made one pilgrimage back to Kittanning so that we could all meet Dad’s folks. It seemed like the longest car trip in history.
      - librarygrrl64
        
        And it always seems like it’s raining when I drive through central PA. I think the mountains trap the weather or something. Also, back in the day, before cassette and CD players and iPods, as a kid I remember that the only radio stations you could get on the turnpike in central PA were country or Christian. It’s Pennsyltucky! My dad did have a CB radio for a while, and that was fun. We would talk to the truckers.
      - librarygrrl64
        
        I know EXACTLY where McKeesport is. My dad worked there back in the day.
      - http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd
        
        Oh to the Em Gee!
      - librarygrrl64
        
        Your past is safe with me.
      - http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd
        
        Oh my dear, it is FAR too late to attempt to conceal my past. lol But I appreciate your loyalty, nonetheless.
      - librarygrrl64
        
        Hmmm, now that you mention it, I *thought* I saw a few billboards on the turnpike with your face on them…..
      - http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd
        
        A good publicist, is a wonderful thing.
      - librarygrrl64
        
        Well, a better publicist would have included the kilt.
    - http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather
      
      My BF’s family owns a Polish pizza joint in Trucksville, PA.
    - librarygrrl64
      
      As I’ve said before, valance and drapes, valance and drapes. That’s all I can see when I look at her hair.
      
      Also, shout-out to PA, baby!
- bitchybitchybitchy
  
  Every time I see this woman I just want to scream in horror at those bangs. I think they do nothing, absolutely nothing for her. As for the outfit, one of these pieces teamed with more subdued/subtle element swould work. Altogether? YIkes.
- NC_Meg
  
  I think the whole outfit is hilarious and I can’t see a red leather jacket without thinking the wearer is paying homage to Michael Jackson. (But I think even MJ would have drawn the line at a bedazzled red leather jacket.)
http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gabriella M

I think the worst part is combining the jacket and the pants. She looks like she should be a Michael Jackson backup dancer. Without the jacket, it would look much better, albeit too blinged out for daywear (probably why she grabbed the jacket in the first place). A matte red trenchcoat (if she had to go for the black/red/white combo) would probably have made this look more chic and daytime.
- MoHub
  
  You’re right. This looks as if it came from the Michael Jackson estate sale.
  - bitchybitchybitchy
    
    The Michael Jackson estate sale! I can’t tell you how much I love this!
BeeBeauNYC

Does the handler get to have his own umbrella or is he just stuck in the rain?
- formerlyAnon
  
  I’m guessing the latter. The little people, they won’t melt.
- http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd
  
  I am relieved that I’m not the only person who thinks about things like this.
- Kimbolina
  
  I think it would be pretty hilarious if he was carrying an umbrella in each hand.
  - http://profile.yahoo.com/37TPKASIMXVUPYK5BNQFOL43KU Carina
    
    I wonder if the umbrella is bedazzled too!
- bitchybitchybitchy
  
  The fact that La Biel has a handler who holds the umbrella just adds to the tacky hilariousness of this outfit.
OwnsHairlessCats

It’s almost seizure inducing.
CFNA1981

maybe Marant gave her the pieces with the condition of using them all together…
have u thought about it :OP
schadenfreudelicious

its like a Michaels craft store vomited on her….
- http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1084733830 Kate Andrews
  
  Or a Michael Jackson craft store.
  - schadenfreudelicious
    
    touche!
- bitchybitchybitchy
  
  I was at a Michaels just yesterday and it was suspiciously low on sequins, beads, etc..
formerlyAnon

EXACTLY what you said. I like each piece separately (if not necessarily for everyone), but it’s laughably Too Much.

But if you have the kind of life where someone walks just out of frame carrying the umbrella that shields you from the rain, I imagine one can lose perspective.
http://twitter.com/Lily1129 Lily

I like all these pieces, but putting them together was a TERRIBLE idea. It looks like she fell into a brad machine.
http://profile.yahoo.com/AHFSPHBCDZPDUMNDX5C7GK3N3M Molly

With her I dont think its necessarily about being stylish. I think she’s trying to say, “Look at me. I have the clout to wear head to toe Isabel Marant straight off the runway! I’m so powerful? Right?”
Its like she’s trying to convince us she’s relevant.
That red jacket, for instance, isn’t even that great but it’s the kind of high impact clothing that gets photographed and is easily identified.
She’s making a statement. I think it says more about her state of mind than her style.
PeggyOC

That shirt, with jeans. Stop there. You can wear the boots if you must with it. That jacket goes in the bin, as its shoulders are tragic. The trousers with some other outfit, one including footwear that is NOT ankle boots. She’s one of those people who just doesn’t know how to dress for her body, and seems to constantly be putting on what someone who doesn’t like her tells her to wear.
- Cathy S
  
  Yes. Absolutely. The top and jeans. Full stop. That would be really cute.
http://www.facebook.com/seelebrennt Christina Diaz

first thing i said was, “what the FUCK is she WEARING?” that pretty much sums it up.
- http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman
  
  I feel like I say this every time I see photos of her.
tereliz

Tragic is right. There’s a such thing as too much of a good thing, Jess. You do know that hordes of Parisian girls were snickering at you behind your back, right?
StellaZafella

In my youth I sometimes just threw on whatever “looked and smelled clean” from the bedroom floor…who cares, I’m just going up the street for coffee.
I guess this is what the rich and famous find lying on the bedroom floor the month after fashion week…
- formerlyAnon
  
  I kind of love this image.
  - StellaZafella
    
    Me too! I didn’t mean it as an insult, just and observation.
hyperionic

Wow. Those pants are bitchin’.
jilly_d

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
homofascist

Those two runway looks are FIERCE! Maybe they would be a little too much IRL, although one could imagine a Zoe Saldana or similar stylish celebrity pulling those off on a slightly more casual red carpet.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

You should see my stank face at this outfit. I do love that top though.
SewingSiren

I think she needs more studs. MOHR!
patticake1601

Less is more!!!
alyce1213

She wore that in Paris? I’m so embarrassed.
JulieThomas

Avenue Montaigne (it is?) can only just about count as a ‘street’ in fairness to her. Outdoor fashion runway with rain, trees and leaves more like. What everyone else said about too many dazzly bits.
http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

Just because they are different colours doesn’t mean this isn’t WAY too matchy-matchy!
Jangle57

Thanks for the laugh; I about spit my tea out. Maybe she has a clown audition?
http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

And there’s so much BULK — where is it all coming from? It doesn’t add that much weight to the models, and Jessica Biel is certainly not a large girl. But somehow these are making her look much wider than she really is.
YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

Also, boot stank.
Jessi03

Girl. Get your life together. Look at your life. Look at your choices.
- YousmelllikeAnnaWintour
  
  What, what, what is she doing?!
  - Jessi03
    
    She may have taken a roofie from a priest.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_VZLU6YVO4BRTELTTH3GRAAMWZQ Dot

The whole outfit is pretty ridiculous, but that purse looks especially silly to me.
pattyw

I’ve had it with people who can’t carry their own umbrella. You’re Jessica Biel, not Cleopatra.
- schadenfreudelicious
  
  agreed, perhaps if she learned how to use that perfectly good shoulder strap on her purse she could free up a hand??
- Patricia Gillett
  
  Just what was the thought behind that choice? That she needed a dedicated umbrella holder so we would not be distracted by the wonder that is her outfit. Good lock with that.
Pants_are_a_must

Every single item in this outfit is already too embellished. Biel, you’re a fashion idiot. That’s it.
Coralie Legister

Pearly Queen!
http://twitter.com/AShinyOConnor A Shiny O’Connor

Everything she’s wearing is heavily embellished. I suppose she’s not looking to creep up and surprise anyone from behind.
Kayceed

She looks like such a joke, poor thing.
IAmJ

Ok, yeah, this is a trainwreck. Did she lose a bet or something?
The red pants look really cool on the model, and I think the gladiator sandals work quite well with them. The booties Jessica chose make her legs look kinda stumpy. I also love how she decided her look needed more embellishments so she grabbed the studded purse. Oh, girl.
EditKitten

This is the dumbest fucking outfit I’ve ever seen.
Janet B

We’ve turned the corner on another season; from wearing Holiday dresses in August to Spring outfits in October.
RocknRollmom

The only way this “works” is if Justin gets a similar studded outfit a la the Brittany/Justin denim red carpet look from years ago!
mjude

no no & no
FashionShowAtLunch

Also, you can’t hold your own goddamn umbrella? You’re not on the red carpet, you’re walking down the street, holding nothing but a little pocketbook. Sheesh.
shirab

I am starting to worry about what she might wear to her wedding.
- http://twitter.com/LianePatterson Liane Patterson
  
  I’m not worried. I’m looking forward to it with eager anticipation of some major WTF!
  - bitchybitchybitchy
    
    Can we hope for a genuine WTF on the order of My great big celeb/gypsy wedding?
dress_up_doll

Despite all the bling she’s wearing, she certainly looks pissed-off. Tacky as hell, but still pissed-off.
charlotte

I want to unsee this.
wwilson008

All she needs is a fanny pack, and she is my grandmother and her friends on their way to Atlantic City for the weekend, just about to board the tour bus that is leaving from the church parking lot in 10 minutes.
- bitchybitchybitchy
  
  In the part of the world in which I grew up, I’d add a few blonde streaks in her hair, which would also be pouffed out-plus the fannypack and then they’d be ready to rock the casinos in Jersey!
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1396777506 Christin Pardy-Nosenchuk

HAHAHAHAHAHAA!! I can totally see Edina rocking the complete ensemble!!!
RL McGruder

She just hurt my heart.

In other news, I covet that skirt.
altalinda

To quote the master, “That’s a lot of look.”
Imasewsure

Really do love all of these pieces and maybe could see the pants and shirt alone as ok together but all together is proof positive that we all should just leave this girl alone. She has no taste. There is no hope
mommyca

to me the jacket ruins it, both the top and pants are not bad together… and on top of that she added the boots! good lord!!!
CFNA1981

the only thing wrong is the over embelishement (a lot), and the jacket is one or 2 sizes bigger (the pants in plane leather and a simple white tshirt and this would be a hit)… oor at least a cool ensemble for a normal day wear…
Joyce VG

Haaahaahaaa… to quote Jessica from the Fug Girls “Whimsy + Whimsy = Terror.” Haaahaaahaaa!
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=535548244 Kim Baker Vidas Davey-Irvin

that top would be fabulous with a pair of well-fitted, worn out jeans and some strappy sandals.
WittyCism

Maybe that’s her showing that she REALLY loved that collection, .
AnnaleighBelle

The theme is Skittle Pox?
http://twitter.com/LianePatterson Liane Patterson

Ha ha ha ha! Hee hee hee! Oh my! I think the booties tipped it over into hysterical territory.
bitchybitchybitchy

TLo said: “The thing is, we like pretty much all of these pieces – no, really – but when you put them all together in the same look, you’re approaching Edina Monsoon levels of fashion victimhood.” Somehow, I just know that Edina would have still pulled this off, from sheer force of personality, and a shitload of booze.
- Snailstsichr
  
  Edie would have the (atrocious, overworked) hair necessary to carry this look off.
  - bitchybitchybitchy
    
    Precisely. She’d also have a really hot young guy as her umbrella “handler”, too.
http://asskickingadviser.com/ Ass Kicking Adviser

Garanimals for ladies. How in the world did she ever think wearing the pants and jacket together were ok? How?
I like the pretty top though.
MilaXX

OUT OUT OUT!
She only needed to wear one of those pieces at a time. That looks like a little kid putting on everything in the closet at once. She could have worn the jacket with jeans and a t. The pants with a simple black top (which btw would look great on KStew). The top with a pencil skirt, etc…..
This just looks crazy
RebeccaKW

I am in love with the first runway look, with the red pants. I love the shirt in that look.

However. The jacket and the boots take this too far.

And I say it every time. I HATE those bangs. (I wonder if she overheard Justin telling someone his dream girl has blunt bangs and that’s why she is sticking with them)
Sara__B

At least her sunglasses aren’t Bedazzled.
http://twitter.com/MajorBedhead MajorBedhead

WEAR ALL THE STUDS!
3boysful

What all ya’ll said.
And why is she on the street with an umbrella handler, and then suddenly she’s sporting shades. So is it sunny or raining? Where do I get me an umbrella handler?
Trisha26

Did she lose a bet?
http://www.facebook.com/people/Mary-Stone/100001328135240 Mary Stone

The pieces walked the runway together….in the same show…but not on the same model….at the same d_mn time.
I’m sure the PR folks at Isabel Marant are loving this….not.
Judy_S

Perhaps it’s a strategy to avoid paparazzi–everybody will be looking at her clothes and forget to wonder whether her face is familiar.
http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

I love the top. The rest of the look needs to go.
thegoberneitor

she is so innocent… but i´m pretty sure this is pure vanity, the boots fit perfectly in a complete exaggeration!!
Kyle Crawford

They Told Him Don’t You Ever Come Around HereDon’t Wanna See Your Face, You Better DisappearThe Fire’s In Their Eyes And Their Words Are Really ClearSo Beat It, Just Beat It
Larkin21

Beautiful pieces but, exactly, should not pair them with one another. Let alone throw all of them on at once!
http://twitter.com/hmbscully WendyD

Why does she always have such bad hair?!
Sunshine16

Must have those pants (to wear with nothing else that is bedazzeled, of course)!
kimmeister

I’d love to see her try to make it through an airport security scanner in that getup. She’d have to strip down to her underoos!
Nelliebelle1197

“Just because it all walked a runway together doesn’t mean it’s going to look good when it’s walking down the street.”

Truer words were never typed.
RoxieRider

Wow, I LOVE these on the models. Chic hippie biker. Awesome.
MissMariRose

Cant. Stop. Laughing.
lrhg

Is everything she’s wearing studded? Good lord girl.
ojosazules

Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell, rock
LesYeuxHiboux

But, you guys, she’s so beautiful that it’s really hard for her to wear clothes like other people do. They have to be riveted to her body to prevent the gale-force winds of her sheer hotness (good for mussing the hair attractively) from blowing them clean off!
JuliaInBlack

If I were a celebrity this would be my PMS-day outfit. It’s crazy enough to make people look twice and back off before I snap at them, and anytime I wanted a relaxing full-body massage I could just drop and roll around on the floor.
TheOtherChristina

I think everyone else has already covered my main points, so I’ll just tack this on:

The arms go INSIDE the sleeves, Jessica.
l_c_ann

I like the red jacket and I’ll just overlook the rest (even though the pieces are sitting down, screaming for equal time).
TieDye64

Yikes, that’s a whole lotta look there.
http://www.facebook.com/vdunbarjones Valerie Dunbar Jones

Love child of Tinkerbell and Michael Jackson.
http://profiles.google.com/gillianholroyd gillian holroyd

dear lord, the bag is studded too? Has she no shame?

Do think her hair is looking good here and normally I dislike her bangs.
jw_ny

what do you mean…Jessica did edit! She decided to forgo the glitter socks and glitter glove.

;D
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1401197785 Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

I really love the top.
lizlemonglasses

I don’t go “out and about in Paris” often, but when I do, I dress as a Star Spangled Banner.
http://www.facebook.com/AdriannaGrezak Adrianna Grężak

holy shit WHAT?
sashaychante

Victim of a NAIL GUN attack
Mary229

She is such a cute girl. Would love to see her in just regular jeans with a great top. Not all this busy stuff! Pretty girl, though.
Anathema_Device

Oh my god. Full-on belly laughs from me. I mean, sweet jeebus, even the BOOTS AND THE BAG ARE BEDAZZLED.
turtleemily

Michael Jackson would’ve rocked this.
ferngilly

Whoa! This is like…straight out of the 70′s!
kcarb1025

Why do we pay attention to her again?

She has zero acting talent. She CLEARLY has no style. So…. I don’t get it.
https://twitter.com/LisaF1163 Lisa

It’s not even the the clothes that bother me, although they are awful. I saw the hair and the face and I shit you not, I actually thought it was Jill Zarin from RHONY! Gaaaah! Not good all around.
ccm800

Is she just effing with us?
Contralto

Bless her heart.
sk8tfan

I have never seen such a naturally beautiful girl make such tragic fashion choices.
guest2visits

Jessica belongs in a certain retro-rock musical. Too much. And then there’s the purse.
librarygrrl64

What the hell am I looking at here?!? You guys have truly seeped into my brain, because I was JUST about to say “Edina” and/or “fashion victim.”
http://twitter.com/Alloyjane Alloy Jane

Oh lol. At least she whole-heartedly admits she’s a fashion doofus. Until she actually hires a stylist, she’s gonna keep showing up to things looking like a toddler dressed her.
AnneElliot

Sweet Jeebus on a breadstick, must EVERYTHING in this outfit be bedazzled???? Even the purse and shoes.

It makes my eyes hurt.
http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

Totally agree. Each piece is pretty cool on its own, but way too much together.
neofashionista

i love the coat and top individually but the pants are hideous!
Jennifer Coleman

OH, HELL NO.
That is all.
http://blue-again.myopenid.com/ blue

She looks like a Christmas tree.
BPlease

All of Biel’s taste is in her mouth. I hate this look so frigging much (and I love Marant) that I’m kind of close to hating her too…the white purse is taking me over the edge.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=3310930 Angie O’Brien

I want to be so rich I can afford to pay someone to hold an umbrella over my head when it drizzles.

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Jessica Biel in Paris

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