Girl, That’s Not Your Dress: Cameron Diaz in Gucci

Posted on Oct 29, 2012 in Fashion

As Hurricane Sandy lashes the windows of T Lo Manor and we look out over the storm, fearing the worst, it’s comforting to have celebrities in this time of need; celebrities making wholly inexplicable decisions. Cameron? Why don’t you come out here and distract us from the weather for a bit?

Cameron Diaz attends LACMA 2012 Art + Film Gala in head-to-toe Gucci.

Gucci Spring 2013 Collection/Model: Andreea Diaconu

Mary, Mother of Pearl, THAT IS NOT YOUR COLOR, GIRL.

Come on, now. You’re a pale, blue-eyed blonde. Saturated yellows are off the table. It doesn’t matter how trendy it is at the moment or how pretty the dress is (in this case: not very), you put a fierce yellow on a pale white girl and she’s gonna look like some undercooked salmon in a dress.

Give her some pleated bell sleeves, a poorly fitted bodice, a Hallmark store pillar candle wreath to wear around her neck, some too-heavy (although fabulous) shoes, a slash of garish red lipstick, and shit hair, and you’ve got yourself a right mess of a look. Honey, go home. Your heart just wasn’t in this one. And if it was in this one, you need to do some examining and reflecting.

[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans/PR Photos, style.com]

Tags:

http://profile.yahoo.com/BJTY6KY7LOR7MDOD6QCZUC3VVI Donna Tabor

Wow, there is a LOT going on with that dress, isn’t there? Looks like a PR project, early in the season, to me.
http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

Wow is that ever a massive train wreck of a wrong set of choices. Every single thing, from makeup and hair to accessories and garment is a misfire of epic proportions.
Oh, and because of the over-harsh lighting, she looks terrifying!
http://twitter.com/LianaBrooks Liana Brooks

Ouch. That’s just painful.
http://twitter.com/LopezMolly Molly Lopez

I like the hair but not for a museum opening maybe for running around
fallen_ikon

Holy mother of..wow. That is not a good look for her. The dress has potential. Better fitted, in a different color, and without the neck wreath it might actually be a cute dress. I like the sleeves and the cut-outs at the neck, but that yellow is not flattering on most women and the neck wreath is just weird.
GorgeousThings

Gah!!! Between the terrible color, the horrible necklace and the Kiki Dunst ponytail, this is an all-around FAIL.

Cammy, shoot your stylist, girl.
- YousmelllikeAnnaWintour
  
  EPIC fail.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

I saw the thumbnail and thought “oh this can’t be good”. Then I saw the full length shot and realized “this is so fucking bad”. That dress is flat out terrible. I just wonder at what moment she even thought it was…pretty….
decormaven

Holy moly, she looks like Sally Kellerman and that is not a good thing!
http://twitter.com/annaria Ria V

That’s more for Ellen Barkin than her.
- TieDye64
  
  You’re so right.
filmcricket

Stay warm and dry, guys!

It’s like you can kind of see a faint glimmer of where this dress was going, but holy cow is the execution really not good.
Judy_J

It’s like she had a list and checked off everything that could possibly be wrong with this outfit, then wore it anyway! Hope you guys are safe and secure, with lots of supplies in case you’re stranded at home. Be safe!
maxinehorne

Scroll up fug??
VeryClaire

I thought it was a rain slicker and Hurricane Sandy veered off to LA.
alyce1213

Pardon the topical reference, but this getup is a perfect storm — a head to toe disaster.
HomeOfficeGirl

I can’t really think of anyone who could pull this off – but Cam had no chance in hell. Terrible.
J-lo?? I could see her working it with some drama… not sure if the color would work on even her….
- hyperionic
  
  I’m thinking Solange. With her Afro she might be able to rock it in a 70′s hippie chic way.
- StellaZafella
  
  Hippie Chick chic? All it needs is the tie-dye and an acoustic guitar strap for the belt.
Judy_S

Stay safe, guys. I will light a virtual floral-decorated Hallmark Pillar Candle for you, and hope that prettier and/or equally snipeworthy looks come your way today.
jenno1013

TLo, thank you for giving me something to laugh about when all is gloom and doom just south of you in Wilmington, Delaware.
- MilaXX
  
  Sheesh! I’m watching the news now. It’s a bit of a mess. Stay safe!
- NDC_IPCentral
  
  As someone whose apartment complex has endured 2 100-year floods (many millions of dollars of devastation) in the past 5 1/2 years and is fearing that #3 will be today and tomorrow, I feel your pain, Jenno. My sincerest stormy sympathies.
  - Lori
    
    ”100 year flood” just doesn’t mean what it used to mean.
    
    Good luck and stay safe.
Introspective

She feels a bit like a fashionista Carol Brady which Im sure isn’t what she was going for… Too much yellow. Too much bell in the sleeves and bad accessories, along with that color on her that makes my teeth hurt its so wrong.

Girl bye.
Le_Sigh

Sweet mercy – when I saw the dress my first reaction was “WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?”

Those are some fierce shoes – but that big buckle almost looks like an ankle monitor non?
- merciblahblah
  
  I thought the EXACT same thing about those shoes. Did she borrow them from Lilo?
- snich11
  
  Oui!
mjude

wow, how awful.
BeeBeauNYC

Cameron darling, if a dress makes you look jaundiced, it is probably not the right dress for you.
http://twitter.com/iJenmac Jennifer McClory

Isn’t Rachel Zoe her stylist, or is that just for major events? At any rate, this is terrible. The color, the fit, the make-up, the sleeves, good lord the sleeves!!!
Rachel Sawyer

Geez, is that anybody’s dress?
- eowyn_of_rohan
  
  Mindy Kaling’s? As a joke?
  - Rachel Sawyer
    
    Actually, that sounds kind of scary.
  - Carrieanno
    
    Mindy would at least find a more fabulous pair of shoes to wear with it.
- http://kingderella.tumblr.com/ kingderella
  
  florence welch? solange?
  - Lori
    
    Oh, with some much better styling I bet Solange could rock this dress.
- Laurie Neilsen
  
  Jessica Pare.
Laurie Bergman

I actually don’t hate the color as much I do the automatic width-producing action of the sleeves and the rightfully-described “Hallmark store pillar candle wreath” of a neck, um, “decoration.” If a dress can make someone like Cameron Diaz look wide, that’s not a good thing. (PS–stay safe, TLo & all East Coast BKs!)
http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

The waist on the dress sits higher on Cammie than it does on the model, so it’s not fitting her correctly. AND it’s all the wrong color for her. I like the dress a lot, and it would look awesome on someone with a darker skin tone.
ringthing

If *Werq* is where everything’s working on a look, what is the name for NOTHING working? Jerq? Whatever it is, Cam is displaying it perfectly here.
- http://twitter.com/yessveee Sarah Veenstra
  
  WREQ.
http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

Stay safe, Sandy-whipped bitter kittens and gay uncles!

I think this dress, without the trumpet sleeves, neck phooferaw and in a different shade of yellow could be saved. I am imagining Molly Ringwald cutting off bits and trying them on as a headband to see what might work.
- MilaXX
  
  Lose the sleeves, severely edit the neck bobbles, put on a bra and tone down the war paint and maaaybe this look is passable.
Linda Unger

And for the love of all that’s holy. Please wear a foundation garment. You are 40 now, things head south. Support those girls.
chelwi

I don’t know why the sleeves being a little short is bothering me the most. I just want to tug them down.
notoffred

She looks like Courtney Love. What a disaster.
- http://twitter.com/iJenmac Jennifer McClory
  
  That’s who it is! I couldn’t think of who it reminded me of. (Hadn’t had coffee yet.) Courtney Love!
  
  Also, your user name makes me smile.
  - notoffred
    
    Aw, thank you. That book changed my life when I was a teenager – so so good.
    - http://twitter.com/iJenmac Jennifer McClory
      
      Me too. It’s in my top-five and one that I re-read just about every year.
belfebe

Send that dress to Florence Welch and try again. Love the shoes though.
nannypoo

She’s a pretty woman but she usually looks bad. In spite of this hideous dress with its bad color, poor fit and ugly style, it’s her hair and makeup that bother me the most.
http://twitter.com/yessveee Sarah Veenstra

Cam clearly must have broken up with Rachel Zoe, and in the throes of being unguided, decided to play dressup in Chloe Sevigny’s alters’ closet.
http://twitter.com/TMamBo Therese Bohn

Stay safe, Guys!
MoHub

One would think Cameron Diaz would be able to afford some decent breastal support.
http://twitter.com/barbiverson Barb Iverson

As I slowly scrolled down from head to toe I must have said “Oh no!” or “Oh honey!” or some variation thereof at each new reveal: hair, lipstick, neckline, saggy boobs, skirt length, shoes! Mess mess mess. And her face looks really strained.
crackineggs

Something nice to say, something nice to say… Her legs look lovely? Wait a minute there’s BLACK polish on her nails and toes? There’s just nothing to salvage here.
MilaXX

What a hot mess. I can see the attraction. On the model this looks cute. The execution, however, is sorely lacking. On Cammy the dress somehow looks like her granny’s dress that she cut short in the attempt to make it modern. I also think the reason the bodice doesn’t fit is because she needs a bra. the granny hair and garish makeup just compound the errors. I think the shoes are the least of the things wrong with this look.
Janet B

Amazingly poor choices from head to toe.
Deedles

She could have pulled it off in a different color BEFORE THE BOOB-JOB.
Anathema_Device

Wow, that dress was a terrible choice on her part. I think the dress could work on the right woman, but Cameron ain’t that woman.

I hope T Lo and all the BKs in the path of the storm(s) stay safe and sound!
- http://twitter.com/urban_gypsy Tess Danesi
  
  I kind of love the dress if you pull off that cheap looking neck thing which reminds me of a hair comb I once has with all these acrylic flowers. It’s sure as hell not Cameron’s color and her hair is the worst I’ve seen it. That is some gym hair not event ready at all.
Alexis Castor

The belt loops really make the whole outfit….
http://kingderella.tumblr.com/ kingderella

bad as this is, i dont think i hate it *that* much.
make those sleeves 3/4 and un-bell-shape them, and i could give this a pass.
fix the hair and fit the bust, and it would even be cute.
Scarlet39

Her hair really needs a deep conditioning treatment.
crash1212

To be fair, I don’t think that’s anybody’s dress – but she looks particularly awful in it. Topic change – I’m glad to see you still have power…stay safe!
mmc2315

Oh, ouch, that color.

Love the shoes.
http://asskickingadviser.com/ Ass Kicking Adviser

I like the dress. On someone else. She’s just a mess in it. I even like the shoes.
guest2visits

This is an awful dress to begin with; the winged arms, the harsh color, the way the waist wants to climb on both, the bodice
adjustment on Cameron’s … it doesn’t fit, AT ALL. And then the hair and lipstick… She looks like a demented canary. Tweety.
The only thing that works are those shoes, which look fantastic with her legginess.
- snich11
  
  “Demented canary” Hee!
Tatiana Luján

I like the dress. I don’t like the shoes: awful and heavy ankle straps are always a no for me. The bodice is poorly fitted, the hair is a mess and the lipstick is too harsh on her.
I think that if the dress were better fitted and if her hair and makeup were better, she could have pulled off that color.
- snich11
  
  Also if she stood up straighter?
  
  Plus, she’s wearing a three-year-old’s hairdo…
imakeart

I’ll say this for her – when she gets it wrong, she gets it wrong better than anyone.
siriuslover

That dress is just ugly on her. Garish would be my word.
Cathy S

I’m not sure that’s anybody’s dress.
kaycem

this looks like something chloe moretz’s character in “dark shadows” should’ve worn — possibly to the ball.

(sidebar: why do blondes keep trying to make this color work for them? this is not your color ladies, please cease and desist.)
Chaiaiai

Tlo, sending prayers your way. Maybe Sandy can cause that Tuscan butter dish you two didn’t want to move to accidentally fall off the table and just be done with it;)
WittyCism

Never mind the color; that dress made her look fat. Her boobs looked like lumpy sacks and her waist disappeared. Tsk!
ballerinawithagun

Be safe!
Cameron rarely chooses the right clothing. When she was young, it didn’t matter: now, it just points out her age. Lemon yellow is a difficult color for most women. My top client requested a yellow dress. I sent a swatch of a lovely lemon chiffon shade. She wanted the intense lemon yellow. I had to search to even find silk in that color! The dress turned out to be a showstopper! But unlike Cameron, my client is a beautiful brunette, who wears almost every color well.
She still has fabulous legs! This is one those rare times that a belt looks horrible. She looks very short waisted. Did she have a boob job? Because, the bodice is just a terrible fit. Granny necklaces are only meant for the very young!
Rhonda Shore

She looks very Florence Henderson hausfrau/PTA Treasurer here.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_4E7CJS2B4AWYGLHEB33ESGF5HM Go!

I’m trying to imagine Zoe Saldana in this–without the “pleated bell sleeves”, but maybe with regular tapered sleeves or even short sleeves…and maybe without the “Hallmark store pillar candle wreath around her neck”, but with another statement piece necklace.
http://profile.yahoo.com/J2VE4NE2FY2BP4QD2XOYKJGLPI Laura

That is NOBODY’S dress. Yikes.
bertkeeter

TRAIN WRECK! What the F was she thinking?
Rebecca Jay

Oh, Cameron Diaz. My very first irrational celebrity hate-ee, before I even knew what that was. Now so many have come and gone from that category, I seem to have grown a soft, sentimental spot for Cammy here.

She’s more like an annoying little sister now .. one who plays dressup in grandma’s closet and jewelry box, and is always too high to do anything decent with her hair.

Are those big old buckles on her shoes?
schadenfreudelicious

i am confident my grandma had a very similar necklace that she purchased from the Avon Lady in 1976…
Contralto

what the hell. Just…what the hell.
twocee

My eyes! My eyes!
YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

Carol Brady on acid.
SapphoPoet

Yikes. That’s a whole lotta mess.

I have the same coloring as Cameron Diaz and yellow is just about the only color I can’t wear. It just never looks good.
frannyprof

Not your dress, not your hair, not your makeup, not your shoes… not your day!
- jennifromcali
  
  That’s the comment I was going to make! That’s a sho ’nuff hot mess right there.
frannyprof

Stay safe, TLo!!
jonnyf8

I thought it was Carol Channing.
- littlemac8
  
  That’s hideously funny.
kschwarting

I have similar coloring and love yellow…and it’s just a no, unless I put an accessory in something closer to my colors up near my face, i.e., a navy scarf. However, nothing, NOTHING, is going to make that specific dress better.
http://twitter.com/amandawelliver Amanda Welliver

A bra might be nice too.
Pants_are_a_must

This is not just a “Girl, That’s Not Your Dress” post. This is a “Girl, FIRE YOUR STYLIST” post.
EEKstl

Cray cray in full regalia.
http://profiles.google.com/scaponigro Sarah Caponigro

YIKES! Look away.
Joyce VG

Wait…this ISN’T a Stella Mc Cartney dress?
http://profiles.google.com/scaponigro Sarah Caponigro

Also, I feel like she must have on an amazing bra? Is that her normal body? Is this an inappropriate comment?
Imasewsure

Examining and reflecting is definitely in order. Awful awful awful… Fire your (or hire a) stylist!!
MilaXX

UGH! Can I just say employers who force their employees to come in only to end them home suck? SEPTA isn’t running so I had to drive my sibling to work this morning and the sibling just called me to come them up. So now I have to go driving in this windy, rainy mess.
- Anathema_Device
  
  That’s ridiculous. Stay safe!
  - MilaXX
    
    thanks everyone is home now.
http://twitter.com/lareveuse lareveuse

Is that PIG TAILS? *headdesk*
kimmeister

I don’t even like the shoes.

I saw an adorable yellow dress that I thought about buying for a friend recently, but then I remembered she’s a pale blonde and it would look terrible on her. I’m just an HR person who loves fashion and even I know that. Cam has no excuse!
littlemac8

That is just tragic – how could a woman who’s been dressing for the cameras for umpteen years NOT have a better idea of what looks good on her. And I HATE with a burning passion these coming season of bizarre sleeves! I’m going to get tired of saying how unflattering they are on EVERYONE!!! On a side note, those shoes are towering ankle snappers but on Cammie’s legs they look amazing!
http://www.facebook.com/people/Sarah-Adams/1143985903 Sarah Adams

Those shoes look like a court ordered ankle monitor.
lamamu

I want to see those shoes and that fab clutch with a different dress…almost any other dress will do.
Qitkat

That eye-searing yellow is just like the yellow raincoat in some childrens’ story. Maybe Jemima Puddle Duck?

They could put this dress on one of those hapless CNN women hanging onto a tree reporting the storm, so they couldn’t lose her. You could spot that from space.

Best wishes to TLo and all BK’s and PUF’s to stay safe from Sandy’s wrath.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1129137319 Paula Pertile

“Hallmark store pillar candle wreath” will keep me going all week, thanks!
Hope the storm passes you by.
http://twitter.com/sestuart Sarabeth

I think this dress would be perfect for Florence Welch…
elizonthelam

Totally agreed, a menagerie of bad & ugly choices, EXCEPT for the idea that pale, blue-eyed blondes can’t wear saturated yellows. We can when the yellow is much warmer in hue. These current greenish yellows on the other hand—HELL NO. You’d think stylist would take a color theory class at some point; their clients would be so much better off, aka not looking like undercooked salmon.
StephanieLovesTLo

I am going to disagree with fellow PUFs and BKs. I love the dress (including the Hallmark store wreath) but agree the color and bodice fitting are not good on Cammie. I think Zoe Saldana or Solange would rock the hell out of this dress.
B_C_J

This is a terrible choice of dress primarily because the color is not very flattering and the fit is really awful especially in the area of the bodice. The hair defies explanation in light of the fact that she chose to wear it this way to a gala!! The only saving grace are the shoes. They are fabulous and it’s nice to see someone wearing a shoe that doesn’t have a platform.
TSkot

Love it on the model (with the proper styling); on Cameron, it looks like a Halloween costume.
http://profile.yahoo.com/CU352ZZXAMZERQZYSSB3MXQYQE Victoria

At first glance I got a Suzanne Somers vibe from this one.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Clydette-Wantland/673315286 Clydette Wantland

I’m most offended by the red lipstick with that color. Ugly.
- l_c_ann
  
  I find the black fingernails and toenails to be even worse. Some outfits don’t mine the black color (reminiscent of fingers caught in closed doors and the dead blood that pools under the nails). Here they all look dead.
another_laura

Gaaah! My eyes!
ThaliaMenninger

Who knew Cameron Diaz would grow up to look like Phyllis Diller? In that dress, anyway.
cleep1000

…a Hallmark store pillar candle wreath…

Exactly!
Trisha26

It *is* Halloween…
tallgirl1204

She must have lost a bet.
snarkykitten

Wow that yellow is eye-searing. PS: I hope you boys are staying safe!!
formerlyAnon

Oh no no no.

Except for the wreath/necklace, (and the shoes – her heels were more “sensible”) I could see Agent 99 (Barbara Feldman) in that dress. Ms. Diaz, not so much.
RoxieRider

I wholeheartedly love this look (except for the shoes), despite the fact that nothing fits or flatters. She looks like a modern-day Carly Simon. It gives me a fleeting moment of hope (except for the shoes) that she might consider aging instead of going into permanent calcification mode, a la Madonna.
http://cheekypinky.wordpress.com/ Rebecca

Natalie Portman or Ginnifer Godwin could have rocked this. With better accessories, of course!
lalahartma

Florence Henderson?
formerlyAnon

Also: Hope you two are safe, un-flooded and if you lose power that it’s restored quickly. Seize the opportunity to cocoon if it presents itself, you’ve been working like stevedores for ages now!
MaryAtRealityTea

Um… so that dress needs narrower sleeves and to give back the jewels it stole from Elizabeth Taylor. Oh, and morph into a different color.
Dagney

Does she own a hairbrush? Or a mirror? Does her hair stylist own a hairbrush? Is aforementioned hairstylist blind?
MarissaLG

A PONYTAIL?!
Veronica1022

Even my six year old (blond, blue eyed, pale skinned) daughter knows that yellow is not a good choice.
Carol Que

Good grief that was awful. Hold me.
SophieCollier

Now THIS is a dress for Florence Welch. She would rock the shit out if it. Cameron, not so much, but I love her.
understateddiva

there’s a dress? all I saw were the gorgeous shoes
MissMapp

And last week I saw Cameron Diaz at Fred Segal, and I talked her out of buying this truly heinous angora sweater. Whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed.
MissMapp

Whoops – double post.
MissMapp

And last week I saw Cameron Diaz at Fred Segal, and I talked her out of buying this truly heinous angora sweater. Whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed.
ccm800

a lesson for us all. get loaded AFTER you’re dressed. Holy mess of wrong.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=603005248 Jeff Warhurst

Yuck!!! That dress needs to be worn with some sort of tight and a pump. It’s too Valley of the Dolls for LaCam.
egl48

I love you guys. Hope you are safe.
Bwin51

Those sleeves are horrid. Can’t do anything while wearing the dress especially not eat a meal.
HK4Seven

It’s a mess, but those shoes are fantastic on her!
rmp6y5

I mean, the dress isn’t *that* bad on its own. Come on. It looks kind of, sort of bad-ass on that 80-pound brunette model. But certainly, it’s ill-fitted here (like, unbelievably so), and Miss Cameron is *not* the right color to pull off pee-pee fabric. But I imagine this on, say, Beyonce, and it could be pretty cool. Or no?
judybrowni

In addition to everything else wrong with it, that stop sign yellow dress also makes her tits look floppy.

Cameron Diaz with floppy tits? I don’t think so.

STOP!
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1303837450 Lauren Dorsee Dillon

I’d love to have this dress in a royal blue. Of course, I’d wear it with different shoes and without the giant daffodil necklace. No part of as-is is a-okay.
enchanted216

Terrible color on her and aging.
- EveEve
  
  Aging as in “this could have been Cloris Leachman on the set of the MTM show in 1972.” Except the shoes. Love the shoes. A scroll-up fug if ever there was one.
LilyPad

I actually don’t think this look is all that offensive. If she traded in the FASHION sleeves for cap sleeves, I think this would be a pretty sharp look. I love those shoes
teaandswashbuckling

Gotta disagree with you gentleman about the color. I think it does actually work for her pretty well–I say this as a pale skinned blonde. I think the problem with this dress is wholly in the fit. Namely that it doesn’t. And those sleeves are cray cray. If it were a slim little sheath dress in the same material, that fit her nicely, I bet she’d look like a million bucks.
LeifBallard

I think a better fit, take out the pleating and make it sleeveless i think it would have been pretty
TieDye64

Every single thing (except her gams and the shoes) is making her look much, much older.
carolclark12

I thought she was Ellen Barkin …. or Ellen Barkin’s mother.
neofashionista

its funny this color is so unattractive on her that it actually ages her many years she looks old and tired

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Girl, That’s Not Your Dress: Cameron Diaz in Gucci

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