Boy, That’s Not Your Suit: Jeremy Renner in Dolce&Gabbana
Hi, Jeremy Renner. We don’t like your suit.
Jeremy Renner attends the premiere of ‘The Bourne Legacy’ in Sydney in a Dolce&Gabbana suit, shirt and tie paired with Christian Louboutin shoes.
Our first reaction was a barely audible “Meh.” Black suit, white shirt, black tie. As standard as standard gets. But then our laser-like Fashion Vision kicked in and we noted that the tailoring on the pants is a little odd and makes him look outrageously hippy, when we’re pretty sure he’s tiny-hipped. Then we noticed the kind of boring, shiny, pointy-toed shoes. Then we noticed that his jacket sleeves seem a bit too short, with too much shirt cuff showing. And while all of these discoveries helped explain just why we were underwhelmed, working towards actively not liking, it wasn’t until we got to the jacket closure that we’d found the answer to the mystery. It’s a double-breasted jacket with one button and a split. In other words, it’s tailored like a tiny little lady’s trench coat, pulling in and flaring out at the points where most women’s tailoring does, and giving him the hourglass figure precisely no man wants.
Now, we absolutely don’t think this works at all, but we have to admit, we wound up giving him credit and a begrudging form of respect for wearing something with a twist to it. We wouldn’t have pegged him for the type. To our thinking, anything’s better than a “meh,” even if it’s a “Is he wearing womenswear?”
Which isn’t to say this wouldn’t work, but we tend to think if it does work, it’s going to be on a body much slimmer than Jeremy’s currently worked-out one. We’re actually curious to see that jacket on someone else to see if it works. Jeremy, pack this one up and send it to one of those nameless little twinks the tween girls all go crazy for. In fact, go straight to the top of the heap and send it to Bieber. Next time, pick tailoring that works for an athletic body (Hint: That usually means no double-breasted anything).
[Photo Credit: Brendon Thorne/Getty Images]