Fergie in Jean-Charles de Castelbajac

Posted on Dec 12, 2011 in Fashion

The coffee simply isn’t hitting our bloodstream in the rapid manner we require, so let’s start the week off with something easy, while we wait for our eyes to stay open on their own, instead of relying on the little paper clips we’re using right now to prop them open.

You see, it’s very simple, Fergie:

Fergie in Jean-Charles de Castelbajac Fergie attends The Hollywood Foreign Press Association and InStyle Presents “A Night Of Firsts” in LA in a Jean-Charles de Castelbajac dress.

Fergie in Jean-Charles de Castelbajac

If you’re presenting your very exciting Felix the Pussy dress to the press and it’s so tight you can’t zip it up in the back?

DON’T TURN AROUND.

Honestly! These people! Do we have to map out every single detail for you? Bah. More coffee.

[Photo Credit: Frazer Harrison/Getty Images]

Tags:

http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

No I did NOT just see that on the RC. That’s the sort of thing a first time drag queen does with her found at the thrift store prom gown to make it fit.
BTW, Fergie? That bow is not making you look like a present. Especially since theres a picture of the gift right below it.
- Anonymous
  
  they coulda stuck the bow in back — and no one would be wiser.
  - http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd
    
    So right!
    A perfect fix.
    - Anonymous
      
      or she coulda worn a little jacket. i have had this problem a zillion times & thats what i woulda done. have done. too many times to count, probably.
      
      it’s even more worrisome to me, personally, not the problem but the dress cos i really love J-CdC & i really love this dress. well, i guess more people are looking at it this way anyway.
http://profiles.google.com/amanda.leigh.albert Amanda Albert

to say nothing of the giant breast-bow…
Anonymous

haven’t heard of that designer but he’s probably gonna fire someone today
http://twitter.com/urban_gypsy Urban Gypsy aka Tess

First, I thought it had to be a style element, a bad style element to be sure – the unzipped zipper, but, sigh, I guess not. Felix the Cat making his grand entrance reminds me of a goatsee and once you see a goatsee, it cannot be unseen. And topped off with a giant fugly bow, no less.
- http://www.facebook.com/christy.w.parker Christy Ward Parker
  
  Sadly, I think that the unzipped zipper IS supposed to be a design element. I think that the designer was trying to create a subconscious thought of “Wow! Her bosom is so big that she can’t find a dress to cover them.” It was supposed to be a sexy nod to her large breasts mixed with a little hint of the good old subconscious standby, “She’s so practically naked that whatever clothes she has left of might fall off at any moment”, which has been popular with designers off and on for decades.
  
  Unfortunately, it didn’t work out that way. It came over as a subconcious, “OK, your boobs may be big, but can’t you afford alterations to make allowances for it?”
  - Anonymous
    
    i dont think he did it but i did think, when i saw this earlier, that she mightve done that herself.
    the funny thing is, though, boy, theyre not.
- Alisa Rivera
  
  OMG, it is goatse!!! I wonder if the designer did it on purpose?
  - http://twitter.com/urban_gypsy Urban Gypsy aka Tess
    
    Damn, I knew I was spelling it wrong. Let’s call it shock.
http://twitter.com/TorrinPaige Heather Eberly

Dress aside, Dear God, what is that thing on her head?
- Anonymous
  
  Seconded. It hurts to look at.
- Anonymous
  
  That would be her face. Scary, isn’t it?
  OUT.
http://twitter.com/LianaBrooks Liana Brooks

I guess her coffee hadn’t kicked in either. Poor girl.
foodycat

How old is Fergie? If the answer is under 40, then she needs a new stylist. The combination of hair, face and knees is making her look like Heather Locklear’s older sister, which I suspect is unfair. And the dress… would look so much better with the bow at the back and no cats.
Anonymous

SERIOUSLY? the fried hair, THE CAT COMING OUT OF HER PUSSY (and looking like he needs to take a breather) AND the Say Yes to the Dress “I’ll-fit-in-this-sample-no-matter-what” technique?

That has woken me up more than any existing coffee.
- Mary McClelland
  
  Yeah but at least on SYTTD they have alterations goddess Vera to fix things. Vera would never let anyone leave the house with those fit issues.
- http://www.wordydoodles.com WordyDoodles
  
  Standing ovation for this comment.
  - Now I am The Bee
    
    Ditto!
    Friends don’t let friends leave the house with open zippers, no matter if it’s a design element or a mistake–it’s a mess.
- http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.munoz Sara Munoz
  
  Happened with my wedding dress, I’ll admit. Tailor put a corset in the back. EASY FIX.
http://twitter.com/NC_Meg Megan

What…wha- why?
Anonymous

Poor Felix!
Anonymous

I’ve had my three cups of coffee and it still looks like Crazytown to me. Felix deserves better. And what is that on her head?
Anonymous

Oh. my. wha?
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_VA5XLSF3QRELSC3MUFSXLP4EIE rebecca

First I thought they were going to comment on the front and how damn tight it is – but Holeee Gods! That’s. a. tight.dress.
http://www.facebook.com/charlotte.horseman Charlotte Horseman

Oh, Monday’s… this is like the red carpet symbolism of how my day has gone so far today. Tired, confused, maybe a little bit pissed, and definitely not giving a F!
Anonymous

For the love of God and all that is Holy!
Anonymous

I don’t know what the runway version is, but if you take away that bow and zip it all the way up, I appreciate the whimsical, playful take on a strapless sheath dress … though personally I wouldn’t want to wear a pussy cat right THERE.

Any chance that bow was the result of the jerry-rigged dress fitting and not part of the actual design?
- http://www.facebook.com/charlotte.horseman Charlotte Horseman
  
  I agree -the print is super fun and (minus the bow) ought to be a good “Fergie” dress but everything just went totally horribly wrong.
- foodycat
  
  … especially a pussy cat that seems to be shrugging his shoulders in disbelief!
Lauren Maier

This dress is not in any of the runway collections on his website, so I’m wondering…custom job?
If that’s the case, AH. Go home, woman, try again.
Mary McClelland

What is wrong with her face? It’s as tragic looking as that dress and it gets more weird and wonky looking every year? Everytime I see a photo of her my thoughts go in this order: 1) whoa she is frightening me – her eyebrows are in her hairline 2) Her face is deformed looking from too much work 3) I hate her hair 4) ugh – now what is she wearing?

Is there anyone guiding this poor woman? ANYONE?! She’s veering dangerously into Lisa Marie territory. ALso, that dress is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen – although is the zipper NOT supposed to zip all the way up to show off that little velvet insert? Or did they insert the velvet to disguise the fit issue. Coffee isn’t helping me either this morning and I am ripe with animosity. sorry.
- Anonymous
  
  I believe the face issue is prior, admitted meth use + recent brow lift. No es bueno.
Anonymous

I just can’t believe anyone would show up on the RC with a fatback insert. I think it’s part of the dress’s silliness and it came that way. At least I hope so.
- Anonymous
  
  “fatback insert” snort. Thanks for making me laugh this morning!!
- Anonymous
  
  To show how sincerely I want to stay in my robe and not face the torrent of shit I have to get done today, I spent several minutes searching pictures and videos from the designer’s collections and runway shows to see if that back panel was in the original design. Couldn’t find this dress. Best I could find were different and cuter dresses in this fabric from his S/S 2011 collection.
  - Anonymous
    
    still in my pj’s. and here I am saying mean things about how OTHER women dress?
    - Anonymous
      
      The attention brought to bear on even the ‘on the street’ photos makes many of us devoutly grateful that we are NOT celebrities & that no one is lurking to photograph us as we go through our daily routine.
      
      Actually, I think that devoutly grateful is a huge, HUGE, understatement in my case.
  - Anonymous
    
    I read somewhere that she designed the dress in collaboration, maybe that’s why you cannot find it any where else…. the whole thing is so sad….
    - Now I am The Bee
      
      So…um….she designed it to have a back fat panel? That’s pathetic. And she looks ashamed to be seen in this dress–she certainly didn’t comb he hair before leaving the house….
      - Anonymous
        
        no no…. what I understood was that her design contribution was the Felix the Cat idea…. not sure if she meant it also to position it at that particular area of her anatomy
      - http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.munoz Sara Munoz
        
        The designer has several Felix designs as well as other cartoon animals. None on the cooch though, so that was probably her idea.
Anonymous

She looks like 40 miles of bad road. Why anyone invites her to any public affair, knowing what she’ll look like, is a mystery. She needs a 12 step fashion intervention……….you know, the kind that starts with “first, admit you have a problem”.
Anonymous

Oh dear god. I thought it was terrible just with the dress and the hair and the makeup. And then she turned around. My mouth gaped and I was, for once, truly speechless.

One question: Is Josh Duhamel blind to let her out of the house looking like that?
Anonymous

Oh my, that is easily a fashion crime for the ages.
Anonymous

Oh. My.
Not just the dress (seriously???), but the hair, makeup and vaguely hungover expression make it look like she’s doing the walk of shame. Fergie, go home and take two Advils. Even better, go home and send me two Advils.
Anonymous

sigh, the sight of this first thing in the morning actually makes me want to go back to bed….The dress is just painful (both to look at and i am sure to wear) Does she actually want her hair to look like that…on purpose?, the mind boggles.. and lastly one would assume Fergie could afford a good exfoliator and moisturizer for those knees, she should look into that…..
Anonymous

Everything about this is so terrible that I just want to go back to bed now.
Sara W

Okay, I try not to judge and I don’t generally admit my catty side on the Internet, but wtf? Her stylist needs beaten, then fired. There’s not a single element to this look that is letting her be the hot, beautiful women that she is.
Judy_J

WTF????????????? And on top of that, she’s got wrinkly knees.
Anonymous

Oh, dear to the 20th power! Girlfriend clearly didn’t get any sleep the night before. She looks hung over and old. The haystack hair. The not-quite-focused eyes. And then there’s the dress, which also looks hung over. The gigantic breast bow. And whatever the hell that is going on on the back. Having Felix the Cat positioned where he is might be vaguely amusing, but he’s also making an appearance on her right hip–which makes the whole thing look like a dress made out of cheap fabric by someone who didn’t know the first thing about sewing.

Total Train Wreck.

I do thank her, though, for the third photo, which makes the case for hosiery better than I ever could in words.
- http://twitter.com/Razorqueen Razorqueen
  
  I had the same thought about the positioning of Felix the Cat’s image.
Anonymous

Wha……?
Anonymous

Ha ha ha ha ha!!! It’s like Felix is opening up a peephole into her peephole!
Anonymous

unbelievable!
It reminds me of the tricks my drama friend did to make all the costumes fit, no matter what…lace up the back so you don’t have to worry about zippers!
Anonymous

Everything about these pics is abhorrent.
Anonymous

Well. At least now we know why she’s standing so funny, right?
Anonymous

I think it’s gonna take me a while to get that picture of her knees out of my brain….
http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

Ugh… and the hair and make-up (or lack thereof) is NOT HELPING. She looks like an old hooker.
Anonymous

I hate the bow, but then I hate nearly all bows of any description on dresses so that barely counts. Otherwise, I really love the dress. (Though I’d love it more on someone whose breasts weren’t emerging from it like creatures rising from the deep.) Zipper thing is inexplicable. It looks entirely intentional to me. The panel filling in the gap matches the [godawful] bow perfectly.

But, really what is up with her hair (oh dear god her hair) and the general impression she gives of trying to evoke Ellen Barkin? After a hard night? Ellen Barkin is a good 20 years older than Fergie, yes? If she doesn’t want to do whatever sun damaged celebs do to their elbows & knees surgically, I respect that but she needs to deal with the hair.

Have I completely obscured the fact I do like the dress?
http://www.facebook.com/CatherineKatz Catherine Katz

The seams on the side of the bodice hit her at exactly the right spots, so I’m thinking that panel was intentional. Ugly, but intentional.
Anonymous

MY EYEYEYES! They BUUUURRRRRNNN!
Anonymous

Tit bows are never in style. Ever.
http://twitter.com/Razorqueen Razorqueen

If, as rumor has it, she is pregnant, she might have discovered that the bodice of her dress doesn’t fit like it did when she first tried it on. The solution to that, honey, is hang it back in your closet. Sewing a gusset in the zipper? For a red carpet appearance? SERIOUSLY? She must have tried the dress on 15 minutes before she had to leave and didn’t have time to do anything else. Or else she just loved the dress that much. Either way, Fail.
MilaXX

gurl sit down!If you can’t fit in it, then its not your dress!
- Anonymous
  
  She probably can’t sit down in it!
http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

That totally just happened didn’t it? I was noticing how it was too tight in the front. Seriously, you couldn’t have just gotten a different dress?
Julie Fountain

Wow, she is looking rough in general.
Anonymous

W.
T.
F.
Anonymous

Oh dear.
Anonymous

*GASP!!*

Holy shit, why would you even need coffee when that is your first post of the day?

This woman works my last nerve.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BA6BTBV4V3MQRX6K2HDEL7Y7TU MerridithK

Are you offing kidding me with that? Oh, HEEEELLLLL no!
Anonymous

This is simply horrible.
http://twitter.com/DarthJaeda Jaeda Laurez

that is a HAMtrocity. Her hair looks like it was styled with “F*** it, Extra Hold” and the dress is…at some point you are going to just have to concede that you are too old to wear dresses with cartoons on it. And then it’s not even the right SIZE? Girl, bye.
Anonymous

Okay, I’ve recovered (slightly) and I have to say that when I was a kid my dad worked at a steel mill and every year the owner of the plant would throw this big Christmas party, which was like the event for some of the wives. And let me tell you some of them would wear the same dress for 10 years straight (because it was still good and it came from the best store in town) . Some times that dress got a little small and it didn’t look quite as good in 1979 as it did in 1967, but the wore it and they had fun. Some of these women had 6 or 8 kids and husbands that drank way too much. None of them had any money to spend on themselves, but they all – every last one of them – rocked their party dresses better than Fergie is rockin hers.
Anonymous

I’m just amused by the way Felix is peering out of the darkness in the second picture. I’m in the camp that thinks it’d be a fun dress if it fit. And she fixed her hair.
Anonymous

Oh my goodness. How is this not a “Girl That’s Not Your Dress” entry? NOt that it’s anyone’s dress. Yikes.
- http://twitter.com/NC_Meg Megan
  
  This is so far beyond “Girl that’s not your dress.” Yikes is right.
Natasha Fairweather

Fergie’s looking tired, poor thing. She probably didn’t even realize her dress doesn’t fit. She should be at home in a bathrobe with some Neo Citran.
http://twitter.com/jessicapippin Jessica Pippin

YIKES. This is really a disaster of a look isn’t it? She needs a new stylist asap.
Anonymous

smh!
Anonymous

In that second picture she looks a little embarrassed, and by the final picture it’s clear that she should be.
Anonymous

It’s de Castelbajac. He’s the guy who makes coats out of stuffed bears and dresses out of parachutes. I’d say that was supposed to be a ’witty’ and intentional take on the whole exposed zippers thing (note that the whole zipper is exposed to make everything more obvious, and that the gap is a good 4-5 inches wide, it would only close on a woman whose chest measurement was almost exactly the same as her waist).
Leslie Streeter

She doesn’t have grandmas or some sort of mean aunt? Who threaten her with the family shame until she goes inside and puts on a decent outfit? What will we tell the children???
Anonymous

This is just sad.
Anonymous

Is she for real with that dress?
http://twitter.com/xuvious Advaita Waikar

I can’t see how that bow in combination with that print would look good on anyone other than a toddler.
- Anonymous
  
  That fabric would scare a normal toddler and give him/her nightmares for years! ;>)
Anonymous

There has to be a reason for this……..
- Anonymous
  
  Good point! Maybe she lost a bet.
Anonymous

Wha….Wha…did she REALLY JUST WALK THE RED CARPET WITH A UNZIPPED ZIPPER. *clutching her pearls*

Can I get an eye roll and a hookah please….
Mariah J

How do you wear a dress you can’t even zip up….does she even know…I mean, drugs had to be involved right?
Anonymous

Jesus, Mary, Joseph and all the Saints. I just noticed that in the second picture all you can see is Felix’s head in the….um….er….hooch area. I laughed out loud!
CQAussie

OH.EM.GEE. Did she really just leave the house pretty much HALF DRESSED? Holy cats on roller skates, what is WRONG with these people?? MILLIONS and yet so freaking moronic.

The hair, the hung over/drunk expression, the giant baby-head boobs desperate to get away and oh yes, the hideous dress.

No seriously….is that half zipped zipper a “style element” or is this weird insert in the back actually a FIX for the dress not fitting? Holy cow. SIZE UP, GIRL….it doesn’t mean you’re going to die, it actually means you will look NORMAL and not like a sausage. An unzipped sausage….
Anonymous

I was reserving judgment on the dress, and then she turned around. Oh HELL no! I don’t care if the designer did it on purpose – the half-zipped zipper is a ridiculous idea! Designers, stop trying to be cute with zippers. Y’all are getting on my nerve. Yes, that’s right. Assy designs have left me with only one nerve.
Kyle Crawford

I’m so gay I did not even get the “CAT” reference the first few times I saw the dress…. just blinded by the bad taste…
Anonymous

I love the cat’s expression: “OMG! what am I doing here??? GET ME OUT!!!!!!!!!”
http://twitter.com/amndad amanda lynn

i’m embarrassed for her.
Anonymous

Awful.
Anonymous

This is actually kind of hilarious.
Anonymous

Inexplicable. Even if the unzipped back is an intentional detail, that doesnt make it worthy to be worn.
And the chest bow is a bad idea too.I actually really like the Felix fabric and wish it had been deployed in a better way.
Fergie’s default look now seems to be uncomfortable. And unhappy. She should let someone help her.
Jacqui

ewww
http://www.facebook.com/people/Kelsey-Albrecht/100001647200441 Kelsey Albrecht

OH MY GAWDDDDDDD
Anonymous

Actually love the dress. Too bad they didn’t have it in her size.
http://www.facebook.com/chloe.stabler Chloe Stabler

If you can’t zip it, DON’T FUCKING WEAR IT. Isn’t that the FIRST thing that everyone looks at when trying on something? If they can’t get it on properly, even if it’s the absolute best dress in the entire would, TOO BAD YOU DON’T WEAR IT. Why? BECAUSE IT DOESN’T FIT.

This is one of my pet peeves just because it’s the process I go through every time I try on something haha. But seriously, this is frustrating.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1052062518 Megan Moore

I didn’t even notice the GIGANTIC bow on her chest until I scrolled up again. This is such a disaster, and I don’t even mind the cheeky cartoon fabric on it’s own – just the unfortunate placement. However, that certainly is an appropriate dress for a “night of firsts” whatever that is.
Anonymous

She looks awful. Fried hair, terrible dress. She looks like she is working very, very hard to be sexy and fabulous. She should leave herself alone for awhile so she can reclaim her natural pretty self.
Anonymous

Felix the Frontal Goatse. GROSS.

And I can’t stand her anyway–SHE is gross. And she looks like a morning-after hooker. Her skin looks unhealthy–like she hasn’t been eating or something. And her hair…ugh, conditioner.

She should at least bring her douchey husband to distract from how awful she looks.
Anonymous

Stoned? The eyes don’t look exactly tuned in.
Anonymous

How does someone so young look so busted? From the bedraggled hair to the ridiculous fit of the dress (I’m pretending not to see the cat), it’s just a terrible look.
Anonymous

This is CLEARLY not her dress.
Anonymous

Fergie’s so witty: “Err derrr, there’s a cat on my cat!”

She’s on my celebrities-I-loathe list, cuddled between Reese Witherspoon and Lea Michelle, so seeing her hulking out and appearing not to fit into her tacky-assed desperate attention whore of a garment pleases me greatly.
Anonymous

here are the actual Felix the Cat dresses from the designer’s show Spring 2011. None of them appear to be half-way zipped though….
http://nymag.com/fashion/fashionshows/2011/spring/main/europe/womenrunway/jcdc/index1.html#slide43&ss1
http://twitter.com/susanpcollier Susan Collier

I just love that ghostly Felix image in the second picture. It’s killing me!
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_J4QGTFQCCILAE4N2SYZZRJ6SPY R LM

Seriously. Is she okay?
Anonymous

photo #3 is particularly frightening- what is wrong with her knees? yikes! i love the fabric though, it could look mysteriously fabulous when used in a simple dress without a humongous-assed bow on it. worn by someone who fits in the dress. who doesn’t look like she just stuck her head in a microwave.
- Anonymous
  
  Well, there’s nothing “wrong” with her knees – it’s just how they’re aging. She hasn’t had them ‘lifted’ – maybe she’s concerned about the scar after surgery, I hear it’s not entirely concealable, or maybe she’s just not crazy/rich enough to contemplate that particular surgical enhancement – and she isn’t wearing hosiery.
  - Anonymous
    
    how old is she anyway? those knees look a lot older than i thought she was. some over exposure to UV rays may be involved. she’s from LA isn’t she?
    - Anonymous
      
      36. But those are at least 50-year-old knees. I’m surprised, because she’s very body-conscious. You’re right, probably over-tanning.
Charles Purdy

My eyes! My beautiful, beautiful eyes!
http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

Design element or not, that second shot screams – “Oh, shit – they just asked me to turn around. What do I do?!”
Anonymous

Beyond the dress/fit issues, her hair and face (and knees!) always look so “rode hard, put up wet” to me. And combined with the fake bubble tits, I just can’t. The dress (sans bow) could be very cute for someone younger, say a Miley or an Abigail Breslin. A touch of rebel whimsy.
Anonymous

Girl needs help. Without the bow this dress would be cute…on someone half her age!
Anonymous

She looks like Rachel Zoe in these pictures. She’s supposed to be in her 30s but she looks like she’s mid-40s. Not that mid-40s is a bad thing, it’s just, it’s not mid-30s and pretending it is is just … kind of sad.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3AJ237ND3GAHDQJZ4TLCO4WLRA Emily

So bad. Is she 13?
Anonymous

That is just ridiculous.
bloodshothalfblind

wtf is this shit?
Anonymous

lifestyles of the rich and shameless
Anonymous

OH no. Why can’t she get a dress that will fit her boobs? I sortof like that dress, although the placement of a cat over her crotch is a bit on the obvious side…
Anonymous

i can’t believe someone would deliberately go out in a dress that’s unzipped to the waist, but that is indeed what it looks like. what is a believable, rational scenario that could have resulted in this? she agreed to wear the dress but it didn’t arrive in time to try it on at home but the designer said they could get it to the event site so she showed up in old baggy sweats and then the dress was the wrong size so she just said fuck it, i’ll pretend it’s supposed to be like that. i wonder if people will buy that story?
http://twitter.com/karenrubyleo Karen

Totally agree with you on this one. This is a really embarrassing attempt to look ‘cute and quirky’. Fergie, you are not 20 years old anymore and when you try to dress like you are it just makes us feel a little bit sad.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=583505025 Kelley Comfort

Oh dear. I wonder if Fergie is one of those celebs who refuses to admit their real dress size and the stylist if forced to cut out labels or slip in extra fabric panels when the dress is too tight to fit.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_MCYPN5CLDIJV7ZUSNS4AR2RSUE Coll

Am I the only one who wonders if she’s preggo? Boobs are the first things to grow for many women. Perhaps it did fit when she first got the dress, and then the event came and she’d grown so much it didn’t and they had to improvise?
Anonymous

Oh, honey, no. Also, in the very first picture, BUT ONLY THAT ONE, she kind of looks like Rachel Zoe. I will now proceed to my underground bunker, where the Zoe hit squads and Predator drones won’t find me.
Anonymous

Go away. How gay is Josh Duhammel? because this not attractive to anyone could NOT be the love o his life…she HAS to be a beard.

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Fergie in Jean-Charles de Castelbajac

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