Pairs Division: Hathaway and Sturgess
A rom-com with two skinny, attractive white people? It’s CRAZY! It’ll never fly. What risk-taking on Hollywood’s part.
Oh, we’re just bitchycranky. We’re just not the rom-com types. Watching attractive people pretend to fall in love is just boring as hell to us. Besides, we get tired of straight people constantly shoving their straightness down our throats. We don’t judge, but you guys should really keep that stuff in the bedroom where it belongs.
Actually, we do judge, but only the clothes.
SHE: Looks adorable, of course. It’s a bit “Magic Christmas Barbie” what with the touches of glitter everywhere. We won’t bitch about the overwhelming matchiness because it’s pretty difficult to introduce a color to a black and metallic gold combo. Besides, those stylist bitches are wearing us down. We will never succumb on the nude shoes issue, and we’ll still bitch about matchy Barbie shoes, but we find ourselves lacking the energy to get worked up over it. You starlets want to look like you popped your shoes out of a plastic mold, be our guests.
Anyway, super-cute dress that suits and fits her to a T, with really cute shoes. Can’t really bitch about anything here. This is how you show up for your rom-com premiere. Score: 9/10. Hey, we said we’re not gonna fight on the matchy business, but that doesn’t mean we can’t take a point off, does it?
HE: Also looks adorable. We hate when men shoot for adorable but given his looks, “rugged” wasn’t on the menu. It’s really not much of a look, though. If you’re going to eschew the tie, now’s your chance to wear either an interesting shirt or an interesting suit. He chose neither; white shirt, banker’s suit. Add too-long pants and a collapsed shirt collar to the mix and we move away from thinking it’s adorable to thinking it’s annoyingly effort-free. Male stars: we don’t mind the tieless look, but most of you simply can’t make it look crisp and picture-ready. Stick with the ties. It’s just easier for you poor addlepated things. Score: 6.5/10. We’re not feeling charitable at the moment.
Combined score: 7.75/10. That seems about right. They both look cute, but neither of them did anything interesting with their looks.
[Photo by Larry Busacca/Getty Images, style.com]