Pairs Division: Weir and Goreski
It’s Ladies Night and the girls decided to show off their gams in the hopes of snagging a horny sailor (or dockworker, or cab driver, or priest). Hit it, girls!
The whole formal-shorts-on-men thing has its historical roots, but we tend to think it works better at a country club or Wimbledon. Pairing it with a tuxedo is really pushing it.
HE: If either of them are pulling this off, it’s Brad. The best thing to do, if you’re going to wander off the sartorial beaten path, is to keep your look rooted in recognizable traditions. Essentially, he just looks like he switched out his pants at the last second because it’s hot out. It helps that he chose a pant length that doesn’t look tacky or silly on him. Love the jacket, although we’re not entirely convinced Thom Browne’s normal highwater proportions work that well with shorts. If you’re going to attempt this look (and we salute you if you are), then this is what you’re shooting for. Score: 9/10. Loafers on the feet would have been better.
SHE: Needs to pack up her Liza With a Z album, her eyelash curler, her henna rinse, and her bedazzler, and pick up some taste along the way. We are ALL FOR dandyism here at T Lo Manufacturing, Ltd. It’s a lost art and we salute any young man willing to take it out for a spin, but honey, there are ways and there are ways, if you know what we mean. We would accept everything above the waist if it weren’t for those horrible trashbag hotpants, which are tacky and a little vulgar, given the venue. Flamboyance is a wonderful tradition among our tribe, dear, but if it’s not paired with taste or wit, then you’re the queen dancing alone on the broke-down Pride float no one notices. Score: 6/10.
Combined score: 7.5/10. But let’s face it, our bitchiness matters not. They were almost certainly the belles of the ball with these looks. Here’s hoping you each scored a barback, ladies!
[Photo Credit: Getty]