NYLON’s Young Hollywood Celebration

Posted on May 6, 2011 in Fashion

Darlings, the slightly-less-bright stars came our for NYLON Magazine’s May Young Hollywood Issue Celebration at Bardot in Hollywood. We don’t know who 90% of these kids are but we’re sure they’ve all got a bright future ahead of them. We’re plum tuckered out from a full day’s work of opinionating, and since there are a metric shit-ton of Young Hollywood looks to run down, we’re just gonna bark out the first thing that comes to mind, Tourette-style, with each picture. If it’s good enough for Joan Rivers, it’s good enough for T Lo. Ready? Got something to drink? Comfy? Okay, then.

Alyson Michalka

Slutty(er) Blanche Devereux! Fried hair!

Amanda Michalka

Waist too high! Big-girl bra!

Amber Lancaster

Skirt hurts our eyes!

Brit Morgan

Cute! Needs better jewelry!

Brittany Curran

Inverted laundry bag!

Caity Lotz

Desperate!

Camilla Luddington

Garment bag you buy in a drugstore!

Caterina Scorsone

Jessica Fletcher’s couch!

Celestina

Fierce motherfucker! Forgot her dress!

Colton Haynes

Cool jacket, bro!

Crystal Reed

Minnie Mouse’s flashier cousin!

Darren Criss

Hirsute Pee Wee!

Emma Roberts

Too famous to be at this event!

Haley Ramm

Cigar wrapper!

Jamie Chung

Hourly rates!

Janina Gavankar

Wandered in from the laundromat down the street!

Joe Slaughter

Novelty shirts are for assholes! Raar!

JoJo

Opens beer bottles with her teeth!

Ryan Eggold

Lazy!

Tyler Blackburn

Lazier!

Paris Hilton

Pointless!

Logan Huffman

Amish comedian!

[Photo Credt: getty, wireimage]

Tags:

NYLON

Mac

Who are these people!?!! Seriously.
- http://profiles.google.com/tarabrock tara brock
  
  ditto
http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

Sigh. I’ve only heard of three of these kids before–does Paris Hilton count? It’s official. I’m old.
- Anonymous
  
  Vera, nothing to do with you! No one has heard of most of these kids.
- http://www.facebook.com/mary.nease Mary Nease
  
  Honey, I’m 20 and I’ve only heard of five of them, and the only one I particularly care for is Darren Criss.
  
  And Paris, what’s the point of being rich if you can’t keep your roots done? You can actually afford to go to the salon regularly, so stop being lazy (said Mary from her bed at 4:30pm)!
  - Alyse
    
    I agree. 18 years old here, and I only have seen three or so of these people in something…and yes, Mr. Criss is my favorite
    - Lisa
      
      Okay, so if you two young-uns have only heard of a few of them, they’re seriously not famous! Who let them into the party?!
- Candigirl1968
  
  It’s kinda pathetic that Paris is at this party. I guess when you aren’t on the A list you crash whatever party will still let you in.
- Momzilla
  
  Young Hollywood Emertus
Rando

In a word–
WHO?
Janicemuah

other than Paris and Emma Roberts i have never heard of any of them….tho your “opens beer bottles with teeth” comment made me guffaw like nobody’s bizness……
- Fish0006
  
  I can’t get over the acid wash tight mini dress with butterfly sleeves. looks like something from the late 80′s? Pls tell me this isn’t coming back.
Anonymous

No idea who most of these people are, but hope they do not become well known. Their terrible dressing hurts my eyes. Did the invitation say: dress so that people will laugh at you?
- http://profiles.google.com/ameliaheartsu Amelia Logan
  
  Well it is a Nylon party…
ailsieengland

Wellll, at least they were mostly not boring! But oh man, that is one red-carpet full of crap-ly dressed nobodies. But what can you expect from a “celebration” sponsored by YouTube and tights?
Nevermind

What look is Darren Chriss going for? If I saw him on the street I’d probably hand him a dollar for a cup of coffee. There’s a major difference between “sexy scruffy” and “homeless and unshaven”.
- http://profiles.google.com/mercbubble42 Jessica O’Connell
  
  Gasp! I think he still looks sexy! Give the man a break, he only has so much time now that he’s allowed to look like something other than a clean cut, clean shaven 17-year-old. I think he looks cute. Love the sweater and the entire outfit shows that 1) he’s bought better shoes like TLo asked and 2) he’s still the quirky, adorable guy that many of us started to love 2 years ago, before he started at Glee.
  
  But agreed, I’m 23 so I’m in what I would assume is a targeted demo for a lot of this group and I only knew 3 of their names (seriously, I get Emma Roberts I guess, but Paris Hilton? Who invited her?) and recognized maybe 2 more of their faces.
  
  Next
  realization, maybe I’m too old to be in their demo!
  
  Well, now I’m depres
  sed.
  - http://www.facebook.com/mary.nease Mary Nease
    
    I had the exact same reaction. Emma, ok. Darren, get in my bed now. Paris, GTFO.
    
    It’s an even sadder realization when you’re 20 and a student teacher- you go in to high schools regularly and realize it’s true.
- http://profiles.google.com/mercbubble42 Jessica O’Connell
  
  Gasp! I think he still looks sexy! Give the man a break, he only has so much time now that he’s allowed to look like something other than a clean cut, clean shaven 17-year-old. I think he looks cute. Love the sweater and the entire outfit shows that 1) he’s bought better shoes like TLo asked and 2) he’s still the quirky, adorable guy that many of us started to love 2 years ago, before he started at Glee.
  
  But agreed, I’m 23 so I’m in what I would assume is a targeted demo for a lot of this group and I only knew 3 of their names (seriously, I get Emma Roberts I guess, but Paris Hilton? Who invited her?) and recognized maybe 2 more of their faces.
  
  Next
  realization, maybe I’m too old to be in their demo!
  
  Well, now I’m depres
  sed.
http://profiles.google.com/trashilove { edi } ilovetrash

celestina, whoever you are:

huge crotch!
- http://profiles.google.com/crioschicago Carlos Rios
  
  Seriously! She is serving some fierceness with her face and body language but I looked down into her crotch area and thought, “someone needs to work on her tuck!”
  - Lisa
    
    She’s absolutely drag-a-licious!
- SMM
  
  Could she be hung?
ann

seriouslyi’m 16. you’s think i was pretty close to their demo, but i also know like 3 people here. actually 3 and a fourths sister. take from that what you will
mjude

LFMAO!
http://profiles.google.com/hmariec19 Heather Couch

I’m only 24 and I only recognize two names. I love your brand of Tourettes though.
- Jrob
  
  Fashion Tourettes – love it! Must…not…indulge…hypochondria…
Lori B

Hilarious!
So true!
Make this a regular feature!
- Becca
  
  Seconded! This would be an awesome regular feature for red carpets full of desperate nobodies – Free Association Fridays!
  - http://twitter.com/miggylol Miggy!
    
    I LOVE the idea of Free Association Fridays!
  - Lisa
    
    YES!!! Brilliant idea – let’s do it! Please, TLo?
Nancy

It is a sad, sad day in Hollywood when not a single celebrity can find something attractive to wear. And does Paris Hilton attend every event that anyone ever hosts? She is truly a desperate fame whore.
Megan

Hahahaha. Made my day. I don’t know many of these people are.
Maria

No matter how fierce Celestina is, it still looks like she has a bulge in her shorts/romper. I’ve also loved Jamie since her days on the RW: San Diego.
lemur

Brit Morgan is a pretty nifty actress, but those ankle straps and that eye makeup make me wince.
Anonny

Love the speed snark. Awesome post.
MilaXX

Lordy these children need help. I recognize a grand total of 5 of them and that’s only because 3 of them (Emma, Paris & Darren).
The first 2 used to be part of a singing group called Al & Aly. But everyone is dressed so wacky.
Caity Lotz is trying to blend california girl looks with a dress only Rhianna could pull off.
Celestina seems to think she’s making a music video and has major camel toe going on.Darren looks okay, but needs to lose the pink tie, and Logan Huffman needs to lose his as well.
Colton Haynes has a nice jacket on, and the rest just look like a bunch of teens hanging out at the mall on a Friday night trying to be cool.
MilaXX

Lordy these children need help. I recognize a grand total of 5 of them and that’s only because 3 of them (Emma, Paris & Darren).
The first 2 used to be part of a singing group called Al & Aly. But everyone is dressed so wacky.
Caity Lotz is trying to blend california girl looks with a dress only Rhianna could pull off.
Celestina seems to think she’s making a music video and has major camel toe going on.Darren looks okay, but needs to lose the pink tie, and Logan Huffman needs to lose his as well.
Colton Haynes has a nice jacket on, and the rest just look like a bunch of teens hanging out at the mall on a Friday night trying to be cool.
Miss Heather

I feel sooooo ollllllld…..
fafafab

is anybody else tired of Darren Criss popping up everyfuckingwhere? seriously, the guy’s like the flu
Leela

i read this post in my mind exactly how the girl from “Kittens Inspired By Kittens” speaks. It brought me much joy.
- Anonymous
  
  Perfect! me too – hilarious
http://profiles.google.com/laura.jane.ogorman Laura O’Gorman

Laughed. My. Ass. Off.
http://profiles.google.com/luv2birdie Elana Bryan

Opens beer bottles with her teeth! Bwhahahah!
Anonymous

Re: Celestina, whoever the hell she is, I instantly screamed out, “Camel toe!!!”
Anonymous

I have heard of 5 of them but no one here looks particularly good. I just keep laughing at the name Joe Slaughter
http://twitter.com/AbbottRabbit AbbottRabbit

Isn’t Paris Hilton about 10 years too old to be at this event?

And I only recognize four of these fetuses — Stupid Tyler, Bearded Blaine, homeless teen from Pretty Little Liars, and Julia Roberts’ niece. I’m going to toddle off and eat my prunes now.
nancy

I wore Britt Morgan’s dress to prom in 1996 (it had a matching bolero jacket) — I actually gave it to the Salvation Army a couple of years ago, I wonder if that’s actually my dress . . .
- ofishall
  
  soo funny!
Anonymous

Colton Haynes & Joe Slaughter (seriously? That’s his real name?), I have no idea who either of you are (just like I don’t know about 95% of the rest of this spread), but I would like to…hot damn!

…Although they kind of look plastic-y, like a Ken Doll. And the novelty shirt needs to go ASAP.

Darren Criss annoys my life.

JoJo and Paris Hilton still exist? Paris is 30 and at what looks like it amounts to be a pre-teen/teen event. I feel sad for her.
Brilliant

First, these outfits are giving me flashbacks to my ’80s childhood and that’s not good.

Second, when did Emma Roberts turn into Ivanka Trump?
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3NXBVKLOMNGCAVCVXOVWDGD3SE Marissa

haha! You guys are the best.
http://profiles.google.com/jacqueline.porter Jackie Porter

Correction: It should say under Paris Hilton’s name: “Too Old Hasbeen!”
- Anonymous
  
  It is good to know that nobody gives a damn about Paris Hilton anymore. I thought that day would never come.
Lulu

Amish comedian!! Hah!
Anonymous

What kind of “young” party is it where Jessica Fletcher’s couch is vying for top honors.
aussiegal77

Who are these people? Oh hi Darren Criss. The rest, seriously, who? Plus…..why is that guy’s blue jacket melting into his pants?
- aussiegal77
  
  I second whoever suggested this as a new feature – TLo Unfiltered. Oh wait, you’re never filtered anyways! Uh….TLo’s Fashion Tourettes?
Anonymous

I love this. “Red Carpet Rapid Responders” or “SNAP! Judgements” or something.

Also, that dress of Paris Hilton’s is hideous. It looks like a vat of rainbow sherbet exploded.
http://www.myblackfriendsays.com myblackfriendsays

This post inspired me to go to youtube and listen to Jojo’s song Leave (Get Out). That’s a good song.
Anonymous

LOL your quick Tourettes approach is perfect

I’m so glad Darren Criss has bought another pair of shoes.
Puggerpete

I’m with aussiegal77 ; who are they and who do they want to be? I do recognize Pointless Hilton however, the only one missing is Skag Lohan.
SMM

That girl wandering in from the laundromat is actually the best one out of these! What a red carpet!
Anonymous

So funny. (beer bottle gal and Amish comedian seemed particularly apt.)

And yes, Paris Hilton IS too old for this group. Just in mileage, before you even figure in chronological age.

Darren Criss is just a smidge away from that look that college freshmen get when they quit shaving fall semester & then try to dress half way nice for dinner the first night home on Christmas break, except all the clothes they actually wear voluntarily are still dirty & stuffed in their luggage. And then before the end of the third day they’ve been worn down and shave “for Grandma”/for the family photo/for the holdiay meal/to shut their parents up.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_EYYAY25W7VS5BYCOCTK62SSUBI tw125

Celestina is a dancer, best known for J-Lo’s “Dancelife” and a Prince video. She’s actually very pretty but you can’t tell here. Jojo is a singer. She burst onto the scene as a 12/13 year old with the song “Baby It’s You”, was declared a worthy successor to Aaliyah (who was about the same age when she debuted), and has barely been heard from since. Jamie Chung was just in that “Sucker Punch” movie. I have no idea (or in the case of Darren Criss, Emma Roberts, and Paris Hilton, no interest in) who the rest of them are.
Guest

Apparently the Vs have resurrected Logan Huffman, but clearly something went terribly wrong in the process…
- MilaXX
  
  I didn’t even realize that was that stupid child from V.
Anonymous

That nonsense romper hurt my brain. In the words of the Duchess – that crotch is insane! Seriously, she cannot be comfortable. With all the bunching it would be awkward just to walk.

Now that I got that out, I only know who about 6 of these people are. Before the actually get famous they need gays. Armies of gays.
Cak_Ask

Celestina – the cut of her romper looks like men’s boxer briefs – see how the text looks chopped up.

You know it would seem to me that these people did themselves a disservice. The clothes are so disctracting and not in a good way, that most people might not even notice (or remember their faces. You’d think in Hollywood where image is so important that they’d get it. ** IS anyone else having issues with the comment box?? I have a bar that says “Try this! Mention other people….” and it won’t go away and when I try to line break control jumps all over the page (I usually use Firefox, but now am in IE
http://www.manoneileen.com Manon Eileen

What the hell @ Logan Hoffman!
Redroverdc

If this is young hollywood, wth is paris there?!?!
annabegins

These are the worst clothes ever. I think my seven year old daughter has better fashion sense that these tragic youngsters.
Sara__B

I like Colton Haynes’ jacket, but not the undershirt or the tying-so-hard-to-be-handsome facial expression. You don’t have to try, Colton. You ARE handsome.

I like Minnie Mouse’s cousin’s dress, too, but that hair ribbon is completely incongruous. Maybe she’s growing out her bangs…
Lisa

I don’t care if it ages me, but… who the hell are any of these people? (Okay, except for Emma Roberts and Paris Hilton. And that fucking microphone whore who ruins “Glee” for me every week).

Although, bravo, boys – “Hourly rates” and “Opens beer bottles with her teeth” are hilarious!
CNM

That Paris Hilton dress is so, so hideous. It’s worse than Jojo’s, and that’s saying something.
Lori G

My eyes are still burning from the clothes. Make it stop! (But, pleeeze make this a regular feature – it can be called “ADHD fashion disasters!”).

You know that things are bad, when one of the most famous people in these pics is Tyler, aka the incredibly vacant boy from “V.” Your “Amish comedian” comment was PRICELESS!

As my mom would say, “I don’t know who the young kids are these days.” I should feel old, but I just feel relieved that when I was this age, we all just dressed like Madonna. At least we looked cute (despite an abundance of black lace gloves), had killer sunglasses at our disposal, and had WAY more fun than these kids look like they are having. Only the Amish comedian looks happy. Sigh. xoxox
Anonymous

God, you two kill me. Too funny. Hirsute Pee Wee slayed me.
Dellde

Wow, JoJo is all grown up.
Carrie

Haha! Guess I’m the winner because I actually know who 8 of these people are. That Tyler Blackburn kid is supposed to be the next big thing and I keep reading about how gorgeous he is. Not seeing it. And no one else remembers Jojo? That makes me feel old and I’m only 31.
tom

Again, seriously, who are these people? Other than Darren, Emma and of course, perennial fame whore, Paris, I have never seen or heard of any of them. At all. And don’t really care to again. Thanks.
Anonymous

Is it just me or does the Amish Comedian bear a striking resemblance to a young John Travolta?
http://profiles.google.com/thisiscelia Celia

I’m appalled. I thought this was Nylon, not F-List Weekly. What the WHAT? Have any of these chickies even picked up a Nylon magazine? Awful, awful, awful!
Mary

You guys are the funniest! And that Celestina person- hello, Cameltoe!
Jrob

Dying of laughter! Does youth require an utter lack of taste? Pretty sure I wore some ugly things in the 80s. And Paris, honey, young at heart just ain’t gonna cut it.
Jill

WHO??? I am twenty years old and I recognized perhaps five of these people. I AM OLD!!!! OLD AND CROTCHETY!!!

Not to say YOU guys are old and crotchety, just that I was feeling just as totally grumpy and raar at all the folly I was seeing.
http://profiles.google.com/darkphoenix54 Laurie Brown

Half those people look like they’re from a 1970 Frederick’s of Hollywood catalog. And, yes, I do realize that makes me sound like I’m shaking my cane at them.
save_the_hobbit

I love you so, so much Darren Criss…but right now, you look like a homeless grandpa. I’d still make out with you though, so it’s cool.
Caaro1947

Celestina is working it! The street corner, I mean.
http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.munoz Sara Munoz

Wow. I may be the only one to notice this, but Colton Haynes bears a striking resemblance to my generation’s ultimate ‘Young Hollywood’er- the late Corey Haim. Does anyone else see it?
jzzy55

TH eonly one who caught my eye is Caterina Scorsone. She doesn’t have a molded Barbie head, and I liked her dress and shoes. Just the fact that she wasn’t wearing nude pumps makes her a star in my eyes.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3AJ237ND3GAHDQJZ4TLCO4WLRA Emily

Hilarious commentary. Love!
Anthony-Sabastian

Colton Haynes makes me want to to the naughtiest things…
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_YG4CJVFIDWHGICQPLJFSEZ3IOI StaceyJ

Can’t stop laughing! It looks like a Worst Dressed Convention! Really, I could have found them better clothes at Goodwill. Some of them might have even fit better. That denim dress maybe was from Goodwill. Hilarious!
Anonymous

Honestly, did they just randomly bus these people in from a mall somewhere?? And that includes Miss Hilton.
Laura

Oh, dear God, that last idiot is the kid who played the asshole teenager on V, Tyler, who we all so desperately wanted to bite the big one. It’s frightening that I could recognize him even under all those ridiculous clothes and that truly idiotic hat.
CAT

Aw, Maaannn. I had abdominal surgery today and am reduced to some pale, celibate version of a laugh. Do this again in a week, will ya’?
CAT

And I had to look up Celestina to make sure she wasn’t one of Ru’s girls. Though if she were, she’d have a better tuck.
Jeannie

too great for words. Raar! check TLo out @Nicklulli and @talkingwithtami Don’t you love these gays?!
missy

Generic starlets in tacky clothes. The end.
http://twitter.com/ShelfAfterlife Shelf Afterlife

Well that was a boatload of “who-the-hellery!”
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=8402388 Mike Benedetto

Caterina Scorsone (whoever the fuck she is) isn’t wearing a dress that’s particularly flattering, but I really like that print. Utterly fun. Thinner shoulders, a tighter waist and a little volume in the skirt, and it would be cute as hell.
Anonymous

I want Haynes’ jacket right now!

PS.
“wtf is he/she?” apart from Darren Criss and Paris Hilton.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1344922354 Eric Scheirer Stott

Logan Huffman: Those pieces are OK individually but the shirt/tie/suspenders combo is too much. A solid color shirt or a plainer tie would work better. I think the hat is too small, but that’s my taste. Trousers wrinkled like crazy, but they’re khaki so that is a given.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

I find it sad that every single person looked a mess.
Anonymous

LOVE the Comments!
Anonymous

Who ARE these people?!

Er, sorry.

Alyson Michalka: Looks like a kimono with a halter top tied over it.

Amber Lancaster: I just woke up, and I thought you said, “Skin hurts our eyes.” I couldn’t figure it out. But actual reaction–eyeroll at the shirtless jacket. Not too offended by the bright yellow.

Brittany Curran: Props for a quasi-natural hair color, but that dress is fugly and ill-fitting.

Caity Lotz: Exactly *what* awards are these?

Camilla Luddington: Like exposed zippers aren’t bad enough in back?

Celestina: I really shouldn’t be left wondering if she’s famous from RuPaul’s Drag Race, should I? Because, er… this thing shapes her lady parts like she’s wearing a cup.

Crystal Reed: Bow? No.

Haley Ramm: Short and shiny, but amont the better showings here.

Jamie Chung: TLo’s “Hourly rates” was about the perfect description.

Joe Slaughter: Douchiest pose ever.

JoJo: Perfect for a night of monster truck action, followed by her late shift at the local honky-tonk.

Tyler Blackburn: Apparently realized this is for Z listers, and dressed his opinion of it, deciding that he’d rather not play. I almost respect it.

Paris Hilton: At a young Hollywood thing? Why?
Anonymous

Eek, comment editing! Didn’t mean to triple space those, sorry!
kate!

hahaha you guys are so wonderfully funny
Courtney

Emma Robert’s outfit is to die, not a fan of the blond locks though.
Anonymous

Most of them look like Disney rejects whose contracts are about to end. One last, desperate grasp at fame. That also applies to Paris Hilton, who is there as a cautionary tale.

Celestina has so much cameltoe that it should be called “cameltoes”.
JiMMy GimBeLs

Looks like a fashion show at Macy’s. ICK
Anonymous

To think I almost missed this post and the hardest laugh of the day. Honest-ta-god, I fear for the next generation if this is their idea of looking good.
Lorelei

I woke up the kids laughing.
Anacedillo13

wowww,far far far too much bitchery here. this are the indy not so known hollywood hispters, they dont all have the money too look sd glamorous as the a list but they are different, they are fresh, and they relate to current trends and again this whole hipster movement going on. let them be!
Anacedillo13

also, id like to say that ive seen most of these people, its called tumblr/ keeping up with the not so commercial
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2HEVKQ3PS3MHJSCIACRVFLMQ7A Mysti

Is Celestina sporting the first-ever lady package?
Sarah

”
Novelty shirts are for assholes! Raar!” made me laugh out loud. Fashion commentary by a Tourette’s-afflicted Tyrannosaurus rex! Also, please, please, please tell me that acid washed denim is not coming back, or I will have to breathe into a paper bag. Shudder.
Morris

Ugh, you guys, this site redesign is so hard to navigate. Please go back to simpler times!
http://twitter.com/rmcgrudiva RL McGruder

Every single one of these: hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
anon123

Seriously, the outfits are sooooo bad. Well, not all, but most of them.
http://theskippyreview.wordpress.com/ Skippy

Is Paris still “young”? And Darren Criss…well, dude, your fifteen minutes are just about up. You’re cute though, so you may stay.
Anonymous

what does big-girl bra mean?
QitKat

And, what was the purpose of this event again??? The guys are all dressed like they’re going to a pig roast, some of the girls too.

re: Caity Lotz Mary-Kate or Ashley is (are?) lying somewhere in a gutter naked.

I don’t have anything else. TLo nailed it.
Anonymous

u like nothing
Anonymous

u guys like nothing
Leah

Dang, that’s a LOT of tacky…
http://profiles.google.com/saramichelef Sarah Michele Ford

OK, those comments were all right until ‘amish comedian’ which made me fall out of my chair. love you guy.
Anonymous

You guys should do that more often. That was hilarious.
Malka

Lolololol!!!!!
http://profiles.google.com/mochizukisan kyasarin mochizuki

I love you, T Lo.
http://twitter.com/Gaminesque Jo Stockton

Uh, Caterina’s is actually really cute.

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