Cover Girl: Gwyneth Paltrow for InStyle UK
Gwyneth Paltrow is featured on the cover of InStyle UK magazine, the April 2011 issue. Or at least her face is. We think that’s her face. It’s kind of hard to tell because the figure standing before us has entered the Uncanny Valley and doesn’t really look quite human anymore. We tend to skip the discussions of Photoshopping most of the time, but she really looks odd here. Great dress, though. We wonder who wore it for this photo.
Although we would have preferred that jacket on the cover. Much more eye-catching. All right, Gwynnie. We suppose they told you you were allowed to speak, so let’s hear it.
On hanging out with her friends in London: “I like having dance parties at my house and being super-goofy with my girlfriends,” she says. “We just play dance music like whatever is on the radio and then old stuff—Michael Jackson, disco—and new stuff; we mix it up. It’s fun.”
On how she prepared for her role in Country Strong: “I’ve never prepared for anything more in my life. It was a big responsibility. There was studying with an accent coach, learning to play guitar and, of course, the singing. My voice didn’t have any power and I wanted to try to sing properly. I was so nervous about performing live scenes in the film; that’s so foreign to me.”
On her performance in Country Strong: “Normally, I can’t stand to see myself, but with this film, I felt like it all came together, all that hard work and putting myself in such an uncomfortable position where I felt so scared of how I was going to do it. I’m happy with how it turned out. I am.”
The thing is, no matter how hard she tries (and she’s been trying very hard lately), a celeb can’t tell the public who she is once they’ve made up their collective mind. That’s harsh, but then again, she’ll never have to worry about a grocery or utility bill, tuition, car payments, medical coverage or mortgages for the rest of her life. Boo hoo. People think you’re a self-important and pretentious clown. Here. Have a Black Card to make up for it.
We have no idea if that GOOP thing is profitable for her, but if she wanted our opinion on how to rehab her image, she’d shut that thing down immediately and take a string of low-profile roles where she either looks like crap for the whole movie or is playing a character very similar to how the public perceives her. “She’s making fun of herself! How charming!” “She’s not wearing makeup! Oscar!” See, Gwynnie? It’s really not that hard.