In or Out: Helen Mirren in Jacques Azagury
Oh, this wacky getup makes us laugh and clap our hands. There is a huge part of us that wants to let Queen Helen of Fuckinfantastica do and wear whatever she wants with our full support, but we just can’t, kittens. She’s always traded in elegance with a little bit of a rock and roll undertone. This is just batty English grandmother with money. And yes, it’s coming, poodles. We’re all going to have to brace ourselves because the signs and portents all point in one direction: matchy-match accessories are back on the red carpet. Now, again, part of us wants to laugh in delight at Queen Helen’s idea of matchy-match, which is to go full-on metallic and hit the RC like C-3PO’s fun aunt, but no. We still have standards here at T Lo International and those standards are telling us that any woman who wears a gold metallic dress with gold metallic pumps AND gold metallic OPERA GLOVES is a woman crying out for either help or attention, possibly both.
The dress is not bad at all. In fact, it’s really cute. But it needs some serious styling to work and unfortunately, this styling is anything but serious. We don’t think that black jacket works with it at all. It takes a fun party dress instantly into grandma territory. Now, we don’t expect Helen Mirren to dress like a young starlet, but she’s shown that she can dress both fabulously and age-appropriately, so we tend to think this dress wasn’t going to work for her in any case. It’s just too youthful. The attempts to make it more appropriate for her just took all the charm right out of it. Hair and makeup look great and oh, Queen Helen we adore you so much, but you are OUT dear.
Let us never speak of this again. Be sure to haul out your tits for the Oscars, Queen Helen. We love it when you do that.
[Photos Credit: getty, wireimage, jacquesazagury.com]