The Fashion Show S2E1: Curtain Up! Hit the Lights!
Look at it like this: remember the old Batman TV show from the ’60s? Pretend this is the reality show version of that. Give her a mask and some burly henchmen (called The Imen, of course) and tilt the angle, and she’ll eat more scenery than Cesar Romero, Julie Newmar and Eartha Kitt combined.
And once again, bowing must be done:
You can have your Heidis, Ninas, Padmas and Chinas; THAT is how you dress to host a stylish reality competition, bitches. All hail the queen.
Speaking of which…
All fear the attention whoring queen. What a sour little pussycat. Still, he is reality TV gold if for nothing else than the soundbites. Not just the t-shirt ready “Oh here go hell come,” but for the line that could be the mantra for every bitch who ever bitched: “I wake up every morning, want to be a nice person, but by three o’clock the bitch come out.” Come on now. That should be painted on the ceiling of the Bitchtine Chapel.
But back to the star of the show.
There was simply no opinion that mattered other than Iman’s because Iman didn’t care what anyone else had to say. So intimidating is she that Isaac Mizrahi of all people was something of an afterthought. No, when Iman was in a scene, that scene was about Iman. “It is a FASHION EMERGENCY and it needs an EVACUATION!” Plus, how deliciously funny was her “Don’t move,” to each of the designers on the chopping block, as if she was having one of her henchmen get a bead on them.
And whoever came up with the idea of having him come in while the pieces are in their concept stage is a genius because it naturally prevents Isaac from being too bitchy about someone’s hard work. This is perfect for him. Not quite Tim and not quite Michael Kors. Something else.
Talk about the odd girl out. No one cared, honey. And fire your makeup artist. We fear she’s going to get increasingly outrageous as the season goes on and the realization comes that no one’s paying any attention her. Expect balloon animals and magic tricks before this is over.
Let’s see, what else?
But not without its problems. The fact that the “Shut the fuck ups” came before the end of the first episode does not bode well in terms of this getting ugly to the point of not being fun. We’ll see. There really were only a handful of total whackjobs and let’s face it, one of them went home.
In future posts we’ll have more to say about Little Richard, those two girlfriends who finish each other’s sentences and giggle and whisper a lot who remind us of the two little girls in The Shining, the pretentious twit who wore the hat and wouldn’t shut up about “tribal influences,” The Sassy Black Girl, the “I’m straight but aren’t I adorable” Guy (as well as his adoring, giggling Number One Fan), The Professor and Mary Ann. But for now, congrats to Cesar and wasn’t that as fun as we said it was?