Darlings, people are walking red carpets and we haven’t been paying attention!
It’s time to turn our laser bitch eyes toward the Venice Film Festival, minions. We’ve got plenty of ground to cover over the next few days, so pack a healthy lunch.
Jessica Alba attends the “Machete” premiere at the Palazzo del Cinema
during the 67th Venice International Film Festival in Venice, Italy in Valentino.
Valentino Fall 2010 Couture
Model: Ajak Deng (IMG)
This dress is actually kind of cute until you get to the mullet hem. No mullet hems, ever. EVER. At least if we were kings of the world. The shoes are a bit much, we think. The hair is not bad but a bit too on the messy side. Her eye makeup looks a little weird too.
Natalie Portman attends the Opening Ceremony and “Black Swan” premiere during the 67th Venice Film Festival at the Sala Grande Palazzo Del Cinema in Venice, Italy in Rodarte.
Here’s an example of the politics of the red carpet and how it can make for a less-than-perfect look. Natalie’s wearing Rodarte here, which isn’t particularly notable because she’s been wearing Rodarte for years. Also, because the Mulleavy sisters of Rodarte did all the costumes for her movie, Black Swan
. She’s also carrying a Dior clutch, because she’s the new face of Dior. So what you have is a dress and a bag that really have nothing to do with each other, shoved together in one look because the poor actress wearing them has conflicting fashion commitments that need to be met. To make matters worse, someone tried to tie it together by putting her in a matching pair of metallic shoes, and the result is a striking dress almost ruined by poorly-matched accessories. Remember this when you hear us go on about someone’s poor showing on the RC. It’s not about what you or we wear in our day-to-day lives. We don’t get access to thousands of dollars of free clothes and styling and we don’t make behind-the-scenes deals in order to provide publicity for fashion houses. The red carpet is not real life. It’s about as far from it as you can get while still being a carbon-based life form. Entire careers and more money than you probably want to think of rest on who’s wearing what on which red carpet.
Anyway, we like the dress but as we said, the matching was poor.
Jessica Alba attends the “Machete” photocall at the Palazzo del Casino during the 67th Venice International Film Festival in Venice, Italy wearing a Dolce & Gabbana dress and Michael Kors gladiator sandals.
Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2010 Collection
Model: Elsa Sylvan
With some very smart styling, this dress can look sweet and a little edgy, but if it’s not done right, it can look a little limp and old fashioned. Unfortunately, we’re looking at the latter here. The hair’s not a great choice for this look and apparently Jessica hasn’t gotten the memo about angry shoes (and those are some RIDICULOUSLY angry-looking shoes) being on their way out.
Natalie Portman attends the “Black Swan” photocall at the Palazzo del Casino during the 67th Venice International Film Festival in Venice, Italy wearing a Miu Miu dress and Charles David pumps.
She looks cute and presentable but this look needs something to bring it up from boring. A more interesting shoe, a showy piece of jewelry, maybe a belt, just SOMETHING.