Darlings, if you’ve ever wondered what a drag queen would wear on her wedding day…
Now you know.
Oh, Val. Doll baby, what has happened to you? We did not expect to see you having such a hard time in the competition.
She’s making that mistake that so many competitors have made on this show: shitty dresses.
Well okay, shitty dresses and one other mistake: she’s getting way too caught up in top and bottom and what the judges think of her. In the end, that stuff never matters. It only matters that you don’t get sent home.
Granted, the judging has been outrageously uneven this season, which would put anyone on edge.
Anyway, this dress is clearly a disaster. For something that’s white, flowy and glittery, it managed the trick of looking sad and depressing.
And yikes almighty, the drag queen styling was not good, kittens.
And if that wasn’t bad enough…
THIS came stomping down the runway next.
What the…? How does this…? Why did she…?
Look, catholic girl’s school gym teachers need something wear on their night off like anyone else, we just don’t think this was the time to feature such a look.
Nor do we understand what this has to do with the so-called “high end” look.
Also, that pleated strappy vest like thing she does is PLAYED OUT at this point. We thought it was cute the first time she did it and we still do, but the judges obviously aren’t impressed anymore.
If we could reach through our TV screen, we’d take her by the shoulders, shake her, and tell her to snap the fuck out of it. You’ve made it this far, girl. Just skate through to the end. Who wins challenges doesn’t determine who wins the competition.
Tim Gunn’s Workroom:
Michael has a far less stressful take on the proceedings, but then again, Michael won two challenges.
Hey, don’t look at us. We had nothing to do with it.
It’s not awful. In fact it may be one of the least awful things he’s made on the show.
Oh, it’s horribly executed, that’s for sure.
And in many ways, it’s another cliche of what people think of when they think of high fashion. Kind of dated and old fashioned.
But he just can’t stop the tacky, no matter how hard he tries. That antebellum train is ridiculous.
And THAT is a technique that should only be reserved for craft projects. Seriously, she looks like a Christmas tree topper.
So yeah, it’s a little lumpy, and a whole lot Vegas, but it wasn’t the worst thing on that runway, nor was it the worst thing he’s done on the show.
He almost had something with this little dress, simple though it may be.
We don’t like those weird panels he put on her hips.
But we have to admit, it makes him one of the few designers who somewhat successfully incorporated and interpreted a design element from his high end look in a recognizable manner.
And of course, everyone knows that gigantic, visible, industrial grade zippers are all the rage.
Still, it’s really not awful, all things considered. Of course, people are going to read our repeated assessment that his work is “not awful” or “not the worst thing he’s ever done” as either a full blown endorsement of everything he’s created or the result of a nasty, hate-filled vendetta against this cute, harmless little Italian gingerbread man of a designer. Hogwash to all of y’all, we say.
Michael’s been on the receiving end of some designer bitchiness this season, but no worse than a ton of other competitors in the show’s history. In addition, we agree with the consensus of the other designers that he is inexplicably getting more praise than he deserves for his work. Add to that that he’s so clearly a phony, gleefully telling the camera one thing while he tells the people around him the complete opposite. And to top it all off, he’s so transparently manipulative. “I don’t know what to say. This is my first time in the bottom.” *dimple* *cow eyes*
Please. Look, he’s playing a game and hey, good luck with that. He’s shown just enough proficiency to keep himself in this far but we think it’s pretty clear that his playing to the cameras, as well as to the people around him, has an awful lot to do with it as well.