Met Gala 2010 – Part 2
Okay, let’s start with the two biggest issues here: rack fit. We are far from experts in the proper fitting of a bosom, but even we know that’s not how you do it. If they’re big, they should be up and out, not up and…further up. It looks like if she took a deep breath, they’d pop. If she sneezed, she’d get her nose stuck in her cleavage. Fashion tip: If you can lick them, the fit in the bust is too tight.
Then there’s the hair and makeup. Honey, we think we can say with some assurance that the “19th Century prostitute dying of consumption” look isn’t coming back any time soon. Even Helena Bonham Carter would have enough sense not to take it that far.
Let’s see…what else? Oh. Right. THERE’S SOMETHING DEAD ON HER SHOULDER. Seriously, what the fuck, Joan Holloway? You are the embodiment of the post-war voluptuous, milk-and-corn-fed All-American Girl. WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO SCARE US, JOAN HOLLOWAY?
However, we’re not as impressed by your roots as you apparently think we should be, Elizabeth. Get that shit taken care of the next time you want to wear a borrowed dress worth more than the average car.
And the eye makeup’s not working either, Catwoman.
We have nothing against this dress in theory, it’s just that … haven’t we all seen a dress like this dress a lot? On Eva Mendes?
That bust is absolutely appalling but we have to admit we’re glad she didn’t wear the sweater with it. Can you imagine?
Anyway, we give her props for being bold. You have to be really confident you’ve got the body to pull this off if you’re going to wear it and she does. It’s a sharp look and it deserved a better hairstyle than that limpness.
And Zoe takes up Thandie’s thrown gauntlet and says, “I’M RIGHT HERE, BITCH.”
Fucking flawless. And she can pose like a supermodel.
More to come, kittens!
[Photo Credit: wireimage.com/gettyimages.com/style.com]