In or Out: Jessica Simpson
Model: Aminata Niaria
This poor girl takes such a beating in the press and among bitchy bloggers like ourselves that we always feel like we have to handle her with kid gloves. This completely violates our stated stance on celebrities, which can be summed up as “Oh please. They can cry themselves to sleep on their pile of fur-lined bags of money because someone said something mean on the internet.” And certainly her energy conservation program as per her synapses doesn’t exactly endear us as we tend to get excited over celebrities who are interesting or intelligent in some way. Sure, she got criticized for putting on weight and that’s not really cool, but weighed against the steady stream of magazine covers, endorsement contracts and even her own line of cosmetics, exactly how bad are we supposed to feel for this girl’s self esteem when her entire adult life has been about making money off her looks?
Anyway, our seemingly tender need to protect her from too much harsh criticism is simply going to need to be suppressed. You see, kittens, there are criticisms to be handed out here and we simply must do our jobs.
Let’s start off with a compliment: it fits her really great. She’s had some trouble learning how to fit herself as she’s gotten older (and, more than likely decided an eating disorder wasn’t worth her career), but this does all the right things and none of the wrong things.
But here’s the thing about the dress: we like it, but it seems a little mature for her. We feel like she can rock a similarly fitted dress AND look young and hot. The print is certainly busy, but we can’t honestly say it looks youthful.
Finally, the details: the makeup is just okay, but what the hell is going on with that hair? She looks like she was smacked in the face with something really hard and knocked all her hair loose. Then there’s the bag. Accessories are there as punctuation points for your entire look. They are there to enhance the look, not overtake it. In every picture our eyes immediately go down to that focus-pulling, and truth be told, cheap-looking, clutch. Bad matching. While the yellow certainly goes with the dress, we would have suggested a red. We also think the jewelry is a little heavy for this look. Light touches with such a busy print would have worked better.
Our protective impulses are rearing their head again because despite the mistakes we pointed out, we don’t want to give her an OUT. Wearing a dress that fits and flatters her so well is such a major step in the right direction for her that we don’t want to scare her off with our gay bitchiness. We can’t really give it an IN, though. We’re totally wimping out on this one. You do it.
[Photo Credit: wireimage.com/gettyimages.com/style.com]