V Season 1 Episode 9: Heretic’s Fork
We got a little taste of that this episode as Ryan and Val really did attempt to give up their lives and go underground but once again, the writers wimped out on us. Still, they’re getting there, slowly but surely. The 5th Column is crossing a line into terrorism and torture and now, even killing other humans. Erica knew exactly what Hobbes planned to do with that cute assassin guy at the end.
And can we just say the men on this show are distractingly hot? We can take or leave Chad Decker (too short) and Tyler (too young) and Anna’s aide (wears too much makeup) but man, every other guy on the show: Ryan, Fr. Jack, Hobbes, Joshua, this cute assassin guy with the dreamy eyes and the big arms and even Anna’s little creepy soldier dude. We’ll take one of each, please. Have them washed and sent to our dressing room.
Speaking of Fr. Jack, we have a little bit of a problem with his character. He’s been set up as the moral voice of the group and that’s fine. It makes sense from a story-telling perspective. The problem is, he’s also been set up as the naive one who routinely does stupid things, like reaching out to Chad or arguing leniency for a killer. Writers, that’s just plain lazy. Being moral doesn’t necessarily equate to being naive.
Although we probably shouldn’t single out Jack for his naivete because there’s more than enough to go around. Hey! Let’s all use our first names in front of our prisoner. And hey! I’ll just mention in passing that I’m an FBI agent to the guy who’s standing there in a clerical collar! And oh! Here’s a call from the mother ship! From JOSHUA!!! Did you hear me say that, prisoner? JOSH-U-A!! Oh, and I’m an FBI agent, so why don’t I wander around headquarters openly talking about the Vs on my cell phone! And let’s shoot our guns in this private home, then leave with several dead bodies lying on the floor! No one would ever trace it back to us! Seriously, people. If a couple of fashion-obsessed homos like us can see all the things you’re doing wrong you’re in serious trouble.
And speaking of fashion…ANNA’S DRESS! OHMIGOD! That bitch is so fucking fabulous. She’s playing poor Chad like a fiddle. Some of the ambiguity on this show is annoying the hell out of us, but we like the fact that we really have no idea whose side Chad is on.
About that ambiguity…Look, we’re all for setting up some mysteries. It’s a mainstay for a show like this and we would expect that. But they’ve been too cagey for too long about some of the most basic questions of the show, like: why are the Vs here? Anna said something about commencing “extraction procedures” from the Live Aboard participants, but we don’t know what that means. Douchey Tyler is really important to Anna but we don’t know why. Throw us a little bone here, writers. For all we know they’re extracting gallstones and Anna has a crush on Tyler.
And speaking of which, we’re starting to love that little teen V, Lisa. In the interests of fairness, we have to point out that she is also one insanely hot little lizard. That girl has a body of DEATH and the facial structure to match. Anyway, we kind of love her because she’s almost matching Morena Baccarin’s performance and that’s no mean feat. Plus, she just defied her mother and that really can’t be good for her. We never would have predicted this, but she’s turning out to be one of the more intriguing characters on the show.
All in all, we thought it was a pretty satisfying episode. They’re still not taking it as far as it should go, but the show is definitely improving with each episode. In conclusion, a couple bullet points:
* Die, Tyler. Die. And that’s NOT German for “The Tyler. The.” We realize we don’t have wombs (shocking, we know) and therefore wouldn’t have the same perspective on this as, say, a real mother in the audience might, but we just want Erica to put a gigantic gun to this idiot’s head and say “Look, you fucking moron. I’m TRYING TO SAVE YOUR LIFE!” He’s got both his mother and now his girlfriend trying to protect him and the idiot won’t listen to either of them. Sometimes mammals let the weak babies in the litter die. We’re just sayin’, Erica.
* Is Erica an alcoholic? That was one MASSIVE glass of vodka she poured herself, which she quickly hid when the doorbell rang. Upcoming plot point or just a way of rounding out the character?
* And finally… ANNA’S DRESS! Sure, we mentioned it already, but we felt it deserved a re-run. We couldn’t take our eyes off her bullet boobs every time she appeared.
[Photo Credit: ABC TV]