Ice Princesses: The Costumes, Part 3: The Couples
Allison Reed and Otar Japaridze of Georgia
You just know that throughout the whole routine, he was blowing strips of fabric out of his eyes and spitting them out of his mouth. She looks like a giant cat toy.
Donny and Marie Go Goth.
A skating tribute to early ’80s video games.
Honestly? We have nothing to say about the clothes, good or bad. We just wanted to feature his ass on the blog.
These costumes are actually quite sweet, but they almost don’t look like costumes at all. Handkerchief hems and sequins, bitches. That’s what the public wants.
Quite possibly the UGLIEST garments we have ever seen.
She’s a hotel maid! He’s a bartender! Together…THEY SKATE!
You know how Disney basically takes every one of its animated movies and turns it into an ice-skating extavaganza to milk parents of their money because their kids beg for tickets? Well, now it’s the grownups’ turn! Coming this spring, a new, adult form of ice show:
MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA — ON ICE!
From the people who brought you “Schindler’s List — ON ICE!” and “The Exorcist Water Show!”
Okay, now they’re just fucking with us.
Let’s play Guess the Routine. This is the story of a kindhearted waitress in a Bavarian-themed restaurant and the poor Mexican busboy who loved her from afar.
Are we close?
“Owdee, Partneur! Zis is my, how you say, ‘rodeo slut?”
Little-known T Lo fact: Tom was a gold medal Irish step-dancing champion when he was ten years old. This means two things:
1)He was clearly gay from conception, and
2)He can’t bring himself or allow Lorenzo to make fun of these Frozen Riverdance costumes.
We’re sorry, but it is HILARIOUS how completely insensitive and unaware they are. Every time we see him pulling her hair and she’s got that big stupid grin on her face, we fall out of our chairs laughing.
The British think your women are sluts.
Wait. It’s a joke, right? They’re deliberately parodying ugly Eastern European costumes, right? They deserve a medal just for wearing that in public.
Are these two actively TRYING to singlehandedly destroy the apparel industry in China?