Shear Genius S3E2
Anyway, the rest of the attention whores stayed behind for a food-based challenge. Bravo missed out on a little Top Chef cross promotion there. They could have had a followup challenge where the chefs had to make a dish out of hair.
Okay. If you say so. It’s pretty enough.
Tuna Tataki. It’s about as much “Tuna Tataki” as Sling Blade’s was “Seared Scallops,” but honestly, we can’t get worked up over the decision. Not because we were bored or anything, but the judging criteria for this kind of thing is even more arbitrary than it normally is, so if the judges hated this look, so be it. They’re the experts. Jonathan said it looked old lady. Certainly, there’s nothing fabulous about it, and as Kim pointed out, she failed to color the underside of her hair, which sounds like a pretty egregious mistake. Seems like good enough reason to send Arzo home.
Besides, she hasn’t entertained us. Off with her head.
All right bitches, we’ve got a lot more hair to rip, so let’s just whip this out. Ready? SCROLL!
She looks traumatized. It looks like he took a hand mixer to her head and besides, no one wants hair the color of raw meat.
Hello, Tits! Looks more Statue of Liberty than hamburger. Kim said he was hoping she’d gone with Princess Leia buns. What Kim failed to mention is the 100% likelihood that he would have criticized her for going the cliche route if she’d done that.
Heirloom Tomato Salad
This wigstand went straight home that night and fired her agent. Then she set his house on fire.
Y’know, the judges were all moist for this one and we can’t say we agree. Kim thought it looked “creamy” and Camila kept saying it looked “yommy,” but all we could think was “You’re gonna criticize Exxon’s hair for being too ‘old lady’ and you’re all creaming over Martha Washington here?”
She’s a big fucking whackadoo and she made a big fucking whackadoo hairstyle. Alert the media.
Orange Flan Trio
This wigstand clearly had to be drugged to have her photo taken. No sober person would smile like that when her hair looked like that.
Oh, and we love a good trash-talking reality show bitch, but only when they’ve got the goods to back it up. Faatemah’s been putting down pretty much everyone while turning out some fairly mediocre looks.
She also burned down her agent’s house that night. In fact, she met up with the other wigstand because they have the same agent.
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