Shear Genius S3E1
Let’s kick off our boots, make ourselves a hot chocolate, and make fun of attention whores on TV, shall we?
At least we still had good old Kim Vo, who –
That is one non-biodegradable face.
We’ll get to the shortcut challenge (which was a lot more fun) in another post, for now, let’s rip bikini hair. This was a pretty decent challenge, except we think a lot of the stylists went off in not-so-hot directions.
Uh, okay. There’s anarchy, and then way over on the other side of the scale, there’s hairdressing. Let’s not self-inflate here.
Oh, who are we kidding? They’re attention whores!
And believe it or not, that didn’t even come close to the most eyeroll-inducing of his comments.
And for all that chest-puffing, he really didn’t do much to impress, did he? He made her look like a circus freak.
Let’s face it, there’s only so much you can do to cover the nips without lapsing into weirdness.
Girl, you did a TRUCKLOAD of smack-talking when you should have been putting the work in, because you? Did not impress.
Strangely, the rest of the hair really works. That braid is interesting.
She kind of won us over in the shortcut challenge, not least because she seems to have her head on straight, which is a rarity with this group of egos.
We just don’t get these entries where the stylists effectively tried to make bikini tops out of hair pieces. First off, it’s a little gross-looking. Second, you’re not styling hair at that point, you’re making a garment out of hair.
Boilerplate reality contestant statement. At least she jazzed it up with tap pants and an ’80s secretarial blouse.
Okay, seriously. If someone said this in our presence, we’d spend a few minutes gagging loudly just to make sure everyone in the room was paying attention, and then we’d throw up on his shoes.
Giacomo says, “Oh God, I’ve had a really great life. I worked all over the world with every celebrity in the world, with every supermodel in the world, with every wealthy queen, king…I’m telling you, God gave me a gift and I just do it.”
T Lo says, “Oh God, we’re going to make fun of you so much.”
Not to be mean (too late) but they’re kidding us when they tried to pass these girls off as bikini models, right?
Who saw the big X floating over Crocodile Joey’s head throughout the whole episode? He had “first one gone” in bright neon letters flashing every time he appeared.And speaking of bright neon letters, here they are spelling out “BREAST DEFORMITY” in a searing orange.
And we’re guessing not a lot in the way of community mental health services.
Biggest attention whore we’ve ever set eyes on. And come on, you KNOW we’ve set eyes on a lot. But we’ve been racking or brains, and we just can’t name one who resorted to roller-skating in a gold bikini in order to get camera time. Santino? Thank you.
It’s creative, for sure. We can tell she’s working a schtick wherein her affected craziness is a way of contrasting her skill, which is considerable. But this is another instance of someone not so much styling hair as making clothes out of hair. It’s a creative and well-made solution, but we just don’t love it aesthetically.
More hair-ripping to come, bitches.
[Photos: BravoTV.com - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]