In or Out: January Jones
Did you ever watch the Orson Welles classic A Touch of Evil? You really should. It’s Welles in full command of his directorial skill presiding over a thrilling whodunnit with political overtones starring the carved-out-of-granite profile of Charlton Heston as a Mexican cop. Yes, you read those last six words correctly. Even better is Marlene Dietrich as a Mexican fortune teller. You’ve gotta love old Hollywood, a place that looks at the Aryan faces of Dietrich and Heston and sees Mexicans.
Anyway, the reason we bring this up is because we HAVE seen this film many times and our favorite line of the film is when Dietrich sees Welles, her former lover, for the first time in years and in response to his corpulence says only, “You’re a mess, honey,” in that insouciant Dietrich way that we all love. Actually, to be more accurate, it’s “You’we a mess, honey.” And yes, we have said it to each other countless times over the years when we needed to hear it. Our point?
Someone needs to say this to January. You’we a mess, honey.
Perhaps she should just consider hiring the hair, makeup, and wardrobe people from Mad Men to work on her year round, because whenever she’s out in the world her makeup never looks right, her hair rarely looks right and her taste in clothing is questionable at times.
We’re not saying she should go out in early ’60s drag all the time, but there has to be a happy medium between Hitchcock ice princess and 21st Century starlet. January can be very pretty – breathtaking even – when she’s done up right, but when she’s not she can come across pretty generic. She has an opportunity right now (literally, right now at this very moment) to capitalize on both her looks and the hit show she’s starring in and frankly, we feel like she’s letting this opportunity pass her by.
Oh. The dress. Well, obviously we’re not pleased with it. It’s kind of tacky and cheap-looking and it just does nothing for her. Where are your gays, Miss Jones?
[Photos: Getty Images/ WireImage/Style.com]