2010 Golden Globes Awards

There’s something kind of charmingly retro about the whole look. Joan Holloway on maternity leave. The bag and shoes are ridiculously matchy, but we guess that was the idea. If you’re gonna do retro, you might as well take it all the way.

Cameron Diaz in Alexander McQueen

It’s a good color on her and there’s something appealing about the whole stripped-bare quality of the look.

Chloe Sevigny in Valentino Spring 2010

It’s a hell of a dress and she’s wearing the shit out of it.

Christina Aguilera in Versace Spring 2010

It’s a hell of a dress and she’s coming close to ruining it. Oh, it’s not entirely her fault, but she took an eye-catching, architectural dress, put it on, and suddenly it’s all BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS.

Diane Kruger in Christian Lacroix Spring 2009 Couture

We were a little hard on her the other day, but she deserves some props for always bringing it to the red carpet in a not-boring way. This look is a little prom-y from far away but we love the neckline when you get up close to it.

Drew Barrymore in Atelier Versace Fall 2009 Couture

Proof that the hedgehog dress doesn’t quite work in real life. And by “real life,” we mean “worn by a movie star at an awards show,” which is, of course, about as far from real life as you can get.

Emily Blunt in Dolce & Gabbana

Man, she’s been looking PISSED OFF and HUNGRY lately, hasn’t she? Cute dress though.

Heidi Klum in Roberto Cavalli

Why, Mrs. Seal. You’ve gone positively respectable in your not-quite middle age.

Jane Lynch in Ali Rahimi

Oooh.

We want to love this because we love her but that is simply way too much dress for her. The same neckline with a more fitted skirt would have looked great.

Jayma Mays in Badgley Mischka Resort 2010

Absolutely gorgeous and perfectly suited to her. Probably our favorite of the night.

January Jones in Lanvin Spring 2010

We don’t love the dress on her and we HATE the headband, but can we skip all that and talk about what’s going on with the face? That’s like a tutorial on bad makeup.

January (and January’s gays), PAY ATTENTION: It’s about time you accept your look and stop sabotaging it. Like it or not, you are a classic all-American Hitchcock blonde and as such, you just can’t do “edgy.” It’s not in the cards, honey. Bright red lipsticks and heavy blacks around the eyes – we don’t want to see them again, mkay? Now here’s a tissue. Go to the ladies room and wipe that shit off.

Julianne Moore in Balenciaga Pre-Fall 2008


Eye-catching and elegant.

Kate Hudson in Marchesa Bridal Spring 2010


Gotta give it up for a bitch when she gets it right. It’s perfect on her. But honey, trains are for trailing, not for holding.

Marion Cotillard in Christian Dior Spring 2010


We must never speak of this again, Marion.

Nicole Kidman in Nina Ricci Spring 2010

On the one hand, her face seems to be settling down a bit and she doesn’t frighten us like she used to. On the other hand, she’s skinnier than the model.

On the other, other hand, it’s a dress perfectly suited for her and she’s wearing it well.

Sandra Bullock in Bottega Venetta Spring 2010

Okay, we can work with this.

Sandy, color is your friend. It flatters you and it almost makes it look like you want to be on the red carpet having your picture taken. Also, the length. That’s good. A full skirt hides your tendency to stand with your legs far apart, toes pointed out. Now we just need to work on that “Come the fuck ON” look you always have when faced with photographers.

Tina Fey in Zac Posen Resort 2010

We just don’t know.

It’s different, sure. We think we’d like it on someone else because on her it just comes off way too “I’m America’s Sweetheart!”

Toni Colette in Elie Saab

It’s so…done.

If we were costume designers on a movie and the lead character was an actress in her 40s at an awards show, this is what we would put her in. This is what any costume designer would put her in, because it’s the cliche “aging actress at an awards show” gown.

What makes it doubly bad is, she’s a little young for the aging actress look.

Zoe Saldana in Louis Vuitton