Fergie in Marchesa Resort 2010
Here’s the thing: it’s plain and safe to the point of boring, but she tends to veer wildly all over the red carpet, with looks ranging from clown-car to classic. We’ll take this.
Kate Hudson in Chanel Fall 2009 Couture
It’s not our favorite dress from that collection. We just can’t abide that pointless and silly-looking train. Still, edit that out in your head, and she looks cute. She’s got no clue how to pose for a picture, though.
Goldie Hawn in Christian Dior Spring 2008
Oh, good lord. Much as we love her, Miss Piggy is not a fashion icon.
Oh, dear. Look, we’re just going to say it: she looks matronly. Yes, she is a matron, if you want to get pedantic about it, and we’re certainly not suggesting she should go out and vamp it up or glam it out. But we’ve seen her make much better choices and walk the red carpet looking much better than this. Judi, we luvya, but this is the premiere of a major motion picture; not the Christmas concert of your church choir.
Mary and Ashley Olsen
God bless those crazy little gremlins. Who would have thought twenty years ago those goofy looking sitcom toddlers would grow up to become fashion bitches? We’re stubbornly proud of the fact that we have no interest in trying to remember which one is which, so we’ll just say we like the jacket on the one on the left. The one on the right looks like an evil muppet.
Madonna and Lourdes Leon in Dolce & Gabbana [Spring 2010]
Once again, Madge tries to recycle her past. The crucifix and the lingerie-inspired dress only make her look sad to us. It’s not a bad look, and on someone else, we might even laud it, but on her, it’s just a boring and deliberate attempt on her part to remind everyone of the good old days.
Lourdes actually looks cute. Don’t you just assume, without really knowing anything worthy about her, that she must be the biggest, brattiest little bitch in the world? That little vixen hits 18 and she’s gonna make Paris and Lindsay look like Joan of Arc.
Marion Cotillard in Christian Dior
Like Fergie’s dress, it’s pretty and it’s safe. But we expect more from the gal who rocked a fish dress at the Oscars. Plus those beads; they don’t work, right? Is it us?
Naomi Watts in Marchesa
Alexis Carrington’s secretary on a bad hair day. We love “bare” makeup when it’s done well and on the right face, but this really isn’t the dress to be wearing if you’re going for a clean look.
Nicole Kidman in Prada Fall 2009 [Modified version]
It’s nothing spectacular and it’s yet another look that reinforces her china-doll persona, but we have to say, it’s the best she’s looked in a while, in our opinion.
Penelope Cruz in vintage Chanel couture
Guess which sentence in this post we completely made up.