Make Me A Supermodel: Episode 9

Posted on May 7, 2009 in Fashion

Before we get started…

“The judges wanna, like, scare me and, like, say ‘You know Amanda, if you like wanna be here you, like, need to, like, step up your game,’ and that’s, like, exactly what I’m going to do.”

Jesus H. Christ. Is there, like, anything we can add to that?

EDITED TO ADD: Well, it looks like we CAN add something to that since we seemed to have dropped the ball in not mentioning Amanda’s idiotic “No offense, but I flash my tits at my son so he doesn’t turn out gay,” line. We own it: we plum forgot about it. What can we say? When someone inarticulate says something stupid, it’s about as noteworthy as everyone breathing in and out. But yes, Ignorant Girl Makes Patently Stupid Comment. Film at eleven.

The funny part is, we can’t help thinking if there ever was anything that “caused” someone to “turn out” gay (“Turn out” makes us sound like dinner rolls or something. “How’d those guys turn out?” “Gay.”), then a little boy being forced to watch his mommy walk around the house naked probably ranks up there in possibilities. No offense to ignorant naked mommies, of course.

Darlings, you know what we loved about this episode?

It wasn’t just the nekkid photo shoot,

or watching the models flail about, confused and nervous,

it wasn’t even the ball-shaving.

No, ladies. What we loved is that every time we post pictures of semi-naked to naked male models, we get links out the wazoo. Without further ado, here they are, boys.

This one’s for the “dorm porn” crowd!

Let’s give a warm welcome to the “men of color” aficionados!

And to our brethren in the “ripped, blond and square-jawed” viking -lovers crowd, welcome home, boys.

Now, let’s get on with the rest of this post (more naked guys ahead, guys!).

It would have been almost impossible for him to get this wrong. He had a great choice of accessory and he had the body and profile that screamed for this pose.

For all the drama and discomfort in getting this shot, it really didn’t turn out that bad. His lower half looks a little weird but his face looks great.

Gorgeous shot. Gorgeous ass. We’re done here.

She looked more comfortable on the back of a horse.

It’s a cute shot. Catherine Malandrino practically ripped her a new asshole but we thought she was being a little hard on her.

Gotta give it up to the Brazilian girl for GOING THERE. It’s a great shot.

Yeah, we could see the other models’ point when they noted that the girl with the biggest ass got a shot sans ass, but even so, it’s a great shot and it’s loaded with personality, something most of the other shots lacked. It’s not just about who’s got the best body.

And now, the MMAS Players bring you…drama:

“I shaved my balls! I miss my mommy!”

“I’m gorgeous and poor!”

This concludes the drama portion of our program. And now…FASHION:

Can we just say we kinda loved the guys’ clothes here? We’d never wear them, but we loved them. Anyway, no new surprises on the runway. Mountaha killed her walk again, the boys are the boys. They don’t change from week to week. That’s great for consistent performers like Sandhurst and Jonathan, but Branden’s just not bringing it. Jordan had a bad week, Salome was doing some weird posing, and Amanda sucked.

We honestly thought it was Branden going home last night. It’s a shame, but he’s not stepping up. He’s got a lot of potential, but he’s up against racehorses like Jonathan and Sandhurst and “potential” just ain’t gonna cut it against pros like that. Still we’re glad to see him get one more chance because it was LONG PAST Amanda’s time to go home.

But before we go….DRAMA.

“When you see a picture in a book, you don’t see the excuses, you see the picture.”

What’s THIS all about, Rumspringa Sally? It’s not that we disagree with her, but that is one girl you just don’t turn your back on. She’s a little schemer, that one. Amish Alexis.

[Photos: Bill Diodato/Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]

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