2009 MET Gala – Part 1

Posted on May 5, 2009 in Fashion

The theme was “The Model as Muse: Embodying Fashion” Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 4, 2009 in New York City, but really, it was just an excuse for everyone to dress up. No one cares about the theme.

Alright then! Let’s get to work, bitches!

Anne Hathaway in Marc Jacobs Fall 2009

Lorenzo hates the hair and makeup; Tom thinks it’s fun, like she’s working a brunette Deneuve look. We both hate the dress on her.

Heidi Klum in J. Mendel

Heidi’s apparently got two speeds: madonna and whore. When she’s not pregnant, tight, shiny, and short rule the day but the minute she fertilizes an egg, it’s yards and yards of fabric to announce her fecundity.

Claire Danes in Armani Privé

Wow, she looks stunning. Sour, but stunning.

Iman in Donna Karan

Our love for Iman knows no bounds but we have to admit, she’s phoning this one in. Seen it. Done it.

Elizabeth Hurley in Elie Saab Spring 2009 Couture

Someone thinks she’s a princess.

Marisa Tomei in vintage Adrian

We imagine this dress is fabulous. We have to imagine it because the whiteness washes out any detail under the glare of the cameras. Stylists, steer your clients away from white.

Emmy Rossum in Carolina Herrera Fall 2009

Lorenzo hates the dress; Tom likes it even if it does seem a little dour.

Helena Christensen in Zac Posen

A celebutante half her age MIGHT have gotten away with this as a cheeky little number but on her it’s looking mighty silly. It kinda looks like a prom decoration.

Kirsten Dunst in Chanel Spring 2007 Couture

It’s an interesting dress. Lorenzo loves it; Tom thinks it’s not all that pretty.

Liv Tyler in Stella McCartney

She’s built for those ’40s-inspired looks. She looks fantastic.

Madonna in Louis Vuitton Fall 2009

Madonna, on behalf of the gays, we regret to inform you: it’s over. Since you persist in aging in the least fabulous way possible, we suspect this message won’t be received.

Tyra Banks in Badgley Mischka Pre-Fall 2009