Make Me A Supermodel: Episode 2
It’s Make Me a Candy Supermodel time and you know what that means, kittens.
It means it’s time for Gabriel to get another woody!
Seriously, kid. Do whatever it is you need to do – we suggest a morning jerkoff to go with your coffee – but get that thing under control, would you? If those bitches over at RuPaul’s Drag Race can walk around with duct tape on their manhood, we think you can figure something out.
This kind of challenge is akin to the trash challenges on Project Runway. It may seem a little silly but it really separates the models from the wannabes.
Modeling isn’t all walking down a runway looking fine. Quite often, it’s at best, uncomfortable and at worst, embarassing and exploitive, but these are the things you have to do to get the good jobs.
And like the trash challenges on PR, it lets you see who can roll with it…
…and who can’t.
Shall we declare her the bitch of the season now or should we wait for more evidence? We can wait. Let’s look at pictures!
These are all pretty good. They all appear to be relatively comfortable in front of the camera and Karen and Mountaha in particular are working it.
Salome and Jordan look amazing. A big part of that is the makeup. They benefited from getting some pretty fabulous looks out of the deal. Still, that doesn’t take away from the fact that they too, are working it (in exactly the same pose too).
In a way, we don’t quite get why Jonathan is on this show. He’s clearly already a model. He’s got great instincts and really knows how to work a camera. Branden’s got great potential. He also benefited from some amazing makeup, but that pose is kind of sweet and vulnerable and we doubt that was calculated on his part. Again, great instincts.
Gabriel? Good lord, NO.
It’s the Blandersons! Welcome to the neighborhood!
Sandhurst looks amazing and also knows how to work a camera. Amanda did a passably good job here but Chris, it pains us to say, does not belong here at all. He doesn’t have the looks or the presence to be a model.
Alright, enough of that. Let’s talk about the BEST part of the whole shebang:
MISS TABATHA’S IN THE HOUSE!!!!
You know what makes Tabs so fucking great?
Like a predator, she zeroes in on the one person in the room who’s going to be the biggest pain in the ass…
…and gleefully fucks with them. PURE. LOVE.
Alright, let’s look at the results:
HUGE IMPROVEMENT. It’s amazing how that cut took 5 years and ten pounds off her.
Also a huge improvement and yes, he kinda does look like a model now.
It’s alright. We don’t love it.
Another huge improvement. Mountaha? Never go back to your old color.
YOW! And the winner is…! He went from being a good looking guy with a great body to being a GORGEOUS guy with a great body. Two thumbs (among other things) up!
We realize a change this drastic would be hard for any woman to accept but the bottom line is, she LOOKS LIKE A MODEL NOW. You never would have convinced us that she could prior to this makeover.
A little lame, but Colin’s getting better at his walk.
SUPER FUCKING LAME.
When Jonathan did that little golf swing (which was not only cute, but it made him look hot), we looked at each other and said “That’s a model.”
So, what were the results this week?
Branden wins, which we totally support.
Chris gets sent home, which was, to quote our favorite movie “Regrettable, but necessary.”
And CJ is petulant and annoying. Discuss.
[Photos: Suza Scalora/Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]