Stylista: Who’s That Bitch?
Dear Miss Banks, Miss Slowey, and Miss Zee,
When monkeys fly out our butts and this show gets picked up for a second season, we urge you to consider the following: people don’t want to watch assistants slogging their way through humiliating tasks like fixing your breakfast or kissing the ass of some has-been model bitch who thinks a hotel room is a long-term real estate investment.
With a show like this, they want to see some semblance of what it’s like to work in fashion editorial. Just like Project Runway strips the process of fashion design and creation to its barest cartoon essentials, so too should your show do its best to mimic the editorial process. Photo shoots and styling and page layouts are actually interesting to the type of demographic most likely to tune into your show (opinionated women and gay men). AND, it might actually cast Elle magazine in a flattering light as a place where professionals work their shit to put out a great rag instead of a frivolous place that promotes unrestrained bitchery over talent.
Cordially and at arm’s length,
HOWEVER, a little bird whispered in our ear because she thought the editing in this episode came pretty close to depicting a flatout lie and she wanted to defend Dyshaun a bit. According to her, Kate was just as nasty to him, going so far as to deride him for being gay.
Now kittens, we’re not naive. There’s every chance that this little bird is spinning her own little tale for whatever reasons (although we’re thinking “I hate Kate” ranks pretty high on the list), so take this little bit of insider gossip with a grain of salt. We report, you decide.
One thing’s for sure…
I like that.”
“People are always talking about ‘being professional.’ WhatEVER. I just think I should flaunt my tits and throw everyone else under the bus every chance I get. I don’t know much about fashion but I do know how to be self-absorbed and that’s what it’s all about, right?”
Ashlie? Can you hear me?”
I can’t help but notice that neither of you are holding me back.”