Stylista: High Crimes and Misdemeanors
Y’all, Ashlie has a question.
She’s asking, how will she know if he really loves her? Because apparently, she says a prayer with every heartbeat. She even falls in love whenever they meet.
She’s asking you because you know about these things.
“Making a model happy before a photo shoot is crucial.”
Yeah, okay but let’s not go overboard here, people. Let’s have a little dignity.
Maggie Rizer is, from most accounts, a perfectly decent person. This was playacting at its worst. To start, the entire premise strained credibility. You know, if they were putting Madonna on the cover, they’d be scrambling to meet any ridiculous demand thrown their way, but for a paid model? Even a so-called “super” one? Not really.
And another thing: it was so godawful LAME.
And STAGED TO DEATH.
Once again, we have to suffer through an embarrassing challenge to get to a good, meaty one. We enjoyed seeing them act like actual assistant editors. More of this, please.
Could you imagine if the contestants on Project Runway had to do one humiliating task that had nothing to do with fashion design every single episode? There never would have been a season two, that’s for sure. But we digress.
Even though we agreed with the judges that she’s not a very good swimsuit model, this was clearly the better of the two shoots.
And say what you will about Megan, she ho’d up and immediately admitted that.
For once, the stars were in alignment, and these two briefly made a good team. We kinda got the impression that Ashlie was a little terrified, though.
But the minute we saw them working on the layout we knew they were gonna screw up a good thing.
The theme is great, the styling works for the most part. They just chose too many pictures and we get the impression there were better shots to choose from than these.
Great outfits though.
Although they should have seen immediately that she couldn’t do swimsuit.
Dyshaun: high-strung, nasty bitch. Sorry, but we’re over him. And if he’s been edited into the villain, so be it. We’re so over “Dyshaun,” then. We don’t know the real guy but the character on the show is just plain unpleasant.
Ew. What a HORRIBLE outfit.
But that was a great photo and a great look and the layout and copy were just better on this one.
Which is ironic, because the looks themselves just aren’t that great.
Let that be a lesson to you, kittens: If you find yourself serving shit, put it on a pretty plate.
Tonight! ZAC POSEN! NAKED! 50% OF THAT IS TRUE!