Ripping the Collections: Suede Part 1
Kittens, if you thought we were tough on Jerell, you haven’t seen anything yet. This was a runway show so jaw-droppingly bad that as we mingled in the tent afterwards, the word “embarrassment” was heard to be uttered more times than we can count. These were clothes that even Barbie would wave away with a “Honey, please.”
Please bear in mind that this is supposed to be the opening “wow” piece. A pink housedress with a backwards apron. Except for the straps, there is absolutely nothing of interest going on. The fabrics couldn’t be more blah, the dress isn’t fitted to her at all, and those bangles look like something we would give our niece for her birthday.
Our niece is five.
He’s fucking with us, right? It looks like a centerpiece for a gay baby shower.
The dress is fine. Boring, but fine. Of course, there’s that big noticeable seam running right above her cooch but lets pretend we don’t see that. Once again, the color is baby-shower pink. There’s nothing sophisticated about it at all. But what’s the point of that gigantic ruffle? What purpose does it serve from an aesthetic point of view? She looks like a valance fell on her and she got tangled up in it.
From the fourth row, this didn’t look that bad but looking at it close up, it’s another poorly fitted blah design in another questionable fabric. It just kinda hangs on her.
While this isn’t quite a “HOLY SHIT” look, it’s still something of a “Really, Suede? REALLY?” You’re in Bryant Park; you couldn’t maybe step it up a little? The bodice doesn’t fit her at all and we hate the construction of that skirt. It looks like pipe cleaners. The only thing this look has going for it is that Nazri’s wearing it but even she couldn’t make it look fierce.