Laura’s got her latest Daily Beast column up and it’s all about her favorite holiday and what a horrible mother she is. Tidbits:
“I had to cancel all of my appointments today because I put in pair of freaky contact lenses last night for a Halloween party, and I can’t get them out. These lenses white out my eyes entirely except for a small black spot in the center, which I see through. They are a very clever design; imagine a white donut painted on a contact lens, and the effect is ultra creepy.
Wearing latex is quite ritualistic. These garments are quite difficult to get into, and there is an entire process needed to make it happen. First you need to cover your body with baby powder, and powder the inside of the garment as well. Then you step into it and sort of roll it up, hoping you get it in the proper place, because it is very difficult to reposition. Once you have the garment on, it is covered in the baby powder both inside and out, so it essentially has to be polished. My boys do this job, and are always happy to help. Each boy, armed with a handful of silicone, rubs me down until I shine like a brand new sex toy in a Times Square window (before Disney took over Times Square). I can only wonder what lasting affects this activity will have on their sexuality, but I figure they will end up in therapy for one reason or another anyway. We take Halloween very seriously in this family, so to my boys; their mother dressing like Frankenstein’s Dominatrix is par for the course.”
Did you think she didn’t send us pics? Darlings, of course she did!
Tonight is Laura and Peter’s Halloween party. We can remember viewing her bio video for season 3 and saying “We WILL be invited to the next one.” This was before we even met her. And yes, we were invited to this one and planned on going as Nina and Michael, but goddammotherfuckershitpissdamnhell, we are swamped with work and other obligations this week and we had to call her yesterday to cancel.
[Photos: Courtesy of Laura Bennett - Video: Bravotv.com]