“*sigh* As you know, I was disappointed with the Charlie’s Angels challenge.”
“Because of your base lack of consideration of the magnitude of that challenge, the Allure Wall of Fame will be empty this week. Do you hear me? EMPTY.”
“You have failed the mighty Angel tradition and my heart weeps. I – I can’t look at you – any of you. Please just go. GO!”
Okay, what the fuck.
We’re starting to think that the one thing we loved most about last season – the inventive challenges – is sadly lacking this season.
Why, Lady Bird is just disgusted, y’all. This is unheard of!
Also, this is gross.
Tonight, Wigstand #1 will blend her salty tears with corn syrup and coconut oil on her pillowcase as she quietly cries, clutching a bottle of Two Buck Chuck and waiting for the pills to kick in. Tomorrow, she will call out sick from work because she’ll be stuck to her pillow with a raging hangover and nauseated from the pervasive smell of coconut.
Look at her. She’s in complete shock, poor thing.
But congrats to Paulo anyway!
They must’ve had security or police officers on set because Wigstand #2 looked like she wanted to beat Nicole to within an inch of her life.
Can you fucking BLAME her?
At least Paulo’s was a little hairshow-y and conceptual. This look is like Gladys Kravitz after a bender during Fleet Week.
Y’all, Lady Bird is just so excited about this challenge! Aren’t those dogs just the cutest little things you ever saw?
We, on the other hand, thought it was a little lame. Although we have to admit it was pretty amusing watching each wigstand’s smile tighten up as each stylist pointed out how she looks like her dog. Humiliation. The very cornerstone of reality television.
Congrats to Dee!
It’s maybe just a little too poofy and a little too safe, but you done the job, girl.
And honey, lighten up a little. Sure, Charlie’s doing everything he can to push every button he sees, but you don’t have to treat every challenge like you’re Patton invading Sicily.
Nekisa, honey…much as we love you…
It was time to go. You can’t wind up in the bottom 2 in 95% of the challenges and not realize that the clock is ticking for you.
But chin up, girl. We think you’re probably a great hairdresser in real life. Fun, talkative, attentive to the client and loaded with ideas. It’s just that reality television ain’t for everyone, even if they are really entertaining.
What is this, Riverdance?
“I’d like to sing a little song before I go. I think it really sums up –”
“Nekisa, I’m weary. Please get out.”