Leanne, Emily & Suede
Shitfire, there’s a ton of dresses! Let’s MOVE IT!
“I’m the silent fashion assassin.”
Honey. Parading around the Ren Faire in your homemade Arwen costume doesn’t make you badass. Let’s look at your portfolio, shall we?
A little too cute and a little overworked, but there’s talent there.
Didn’t love it. Again, it’s a little too cute and a little overworked. We do like how she handled the coffee filters, though.
But that’s just a monstrosity. It looks like it weighs ten pounds and that poor girl will be wearing nothing but a syrupy frock if the temperature ever went above 90.
Were the producers fucking with us when they picked a half-dozen designers that look alike? Is there going to be a surprise reveal halfway through the season that these girls are all sextuplets or something, like that show on TLC where that cute biracial couple gave birth to a litter of biracial children and now all they do is yell at each other and not have sex?
We like. Basic, but chic. These portfolios don’t always demonstrate a lot of restraint, so it’s nice to see it here.
Speaking of restraint…
That’s the opposite of it.
The ONLY positive thing we can say about this look is that she demonstrated a fine sense of color. The hues in that collar are fun.
And we suspect the collar itself is supposed to be fun but it looks like a centerpiece at a middle school dance. It’s just a little too arts-and-crafty. It doesn’t help that the dress isn’t exactly memorable and she didn’t manage to make anything look more expensive than it was.
“I got tired of making millions for the rest of the world and decided Suede needed to make millions for Suede and Suede is gonna rock it. Yeah!! Whackadoodle!!”
There’s one word from that quote with which we totally agree. Guess it.
Not our taste, but it looks polished. It also looks like an ad for Jordache from the ’80s.
And our little Suede may just be a crier. He definitely looked like he wanted to sit down with a box of Kleenex and have a good one after Tim eviscerated him. Don’t let us down, girl. Tears, and lots of them.
It’s not horrible, but it’s certainly not worthy of any real praise. Basic, basic, basic.
A big problem is the “fabric” itself. There was simply no way to disguise that it came from a cheap tablecloth. The little last-minute additions didn’t really help hide that.
Nor did the fact that it looks like he just wrapped it around her and stapled it up the back.
Not an impressive first effort. Suede needs to step it up for Suede or Suede is going home.
[Photos: Bravo/Barbara Nitke - Screencaps: ProjectRungay]