NOOOOO!!!! Not Squinty McDimpleson!
He can’t go home! He’s too cute!
To use Steven’s favorite phrase, “Sweet merciful crap.” As adorable as we think he is, we can’t really argue with the judges’ decision last night.
Did he have the worst garment with which to work? Absolutely. But Steven honey, on Project Runway, that’s your cue to really pull out all the stops because the judges lap that shit up when you take crap and make something fabulous out of it. They even admitted that this look was the one they were most looking forward to.
He made 3 major mistakes. First, he got a little high-falutin’ about the materials. Honey, we’re right there with you looking down at poly satin and acetate lace. We can understand declaring that you don’t work with those materials. Thing is, most designers don’t work with corn husks or leaves or garbage either. This is Project Runway, girl! You’re expected to work with crap!
Second mistake: going with black. Dull, dull, dull. We still had hopes that he was going to something dramatic, like white lace laid over black, but no such luck.
Third, making a dress. This was supposed to be everyday wear. Sure, plenty of women wear dresses every day, but this was a little too “cocktail” for the office.
Which isn’t to say it looked sophisticated, because (sorry Steven), it didn’t.
The very definition of “dowdy.”
We’d love to do our patented nitpicky dissection of the garment, but there’s really not much to say. It’s a very basic department-store black dress. He just didn’t do anything interesting with it.
We’re so gonna miss his dimples and facial expressions. Buck up, Dimples! You can have consolation sex with us, okay? Call us!
And on that note…
“Does being on the show get you laid more?
You know, in a perfect world, it would. I have never had so little sex as the last four weeks. It’s just crazy. … It feels like I get to eight parties every seven days. And it’s just nuts. And maybe part of it is just me going, “Oh I gotta keep a low profile.” Because God only knows what the tabloids are ever going to pick up if they ever care what anyone’s doing in Chicago (which I highly doubt). Can you imagine? “It’s cold there and some guy’s screwing his way through the Northside!”
Read the rest of OUTzone’s interview with Dimples here.
[Photo: Barbara Nitke/Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Project RunGay]