Shear Genius Smorgasbord!
Let’s rip these bitches!
And kudos to the totally heterosexual Dr. Boogie, who managed to take his client from “dude who works in the used record store” to “gay porn star.” It takes real talent to make a garage band bass player look like the star of Puerto Rican Butts II.
Have we mentioned our love for Tabs? Sure, she underestimated Figjam the weasel boy, but there’s something about her raw competitiveness and naked disdain for reality show bullshit that makes for FANTASTIC television.
Look, all reality show contestants play to the cameras to varying degrees. It would be boring if they didn’t. On the other hand, there’s a cutoff point. If you go to far, you wind up looking ridiculous.
You’re not going into battle to fight the Persians, weasel boy. Tone it down a little. Besides, all this bowing and meditating might have been impressive if there wasn’t an entire crew in there shooting the whole thing.
God, our lower backs ache just looking at those cheap-ass beds.
With each passing week, this show becomes less about the stylists and more about torturing the poor wig stands. Oh honeys, we hope you put bandaids on your nipples and a couple of pairs of industrial strength granny panties on your bits, because those dresses look like breeding grounds for skin diseases. We’re pretty sure every wigstand goes home at night and sits in her shower, crying, as the scalding hot water does its best to wash away the bad memories.